Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel intimidated and extremely angry over parking outside my house

37 replies

Sgrev · 10/12/2024 09:33

So I live along the road from a primary school, there is an inlet road going along my house and 5 others where there is a pavement and a one lane road. One of the male, surprise, parents keeps parking completely on the pavement, otherwise a car wouldn’t be able to get passed. This means children walking into school have to walk in the road to get round him. All parents have been told many times by the school and neighbours that they shouldn’t be parking there because of the children’s safety and ambulance/fire engine access, yet he still continues to park there. Every time he parks there he stares at me coming out of my house, on the way to take my son to school, he doesn’t attend the school opposite our house. The other week whilst driving out of my house he beeped his horn so I looked at him and he stuck his fingers up at me, whilst laughing. He still continues to park outside my house now going in line with my door so I have to look at him, I feel very intimidated and extremely angry. I have contacted the school, with them just saying there’ll mention parking rules in the newsletter and nothing else. What do you think I should do? Should I confront him and ask what his problem is, bit worried to do this to be honest, just try and ignore his intimidation tactics or something else? TIA for any replies

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
PyongyangKipperbang · 15/12/2024 22:11

Wouldn't it be a shame if, after you get your ring doorbell installed, you take your recycling out and drop a glass bottle just before he is due to pull up......

Lurkingandlearning · 15/12/2024 20:02

BBBusterkeys · 15/12/2024 19:11

Stalking, harassment, illegally blocking the pavement.you asked what law he was breaking. I think that about covers it.

Show quote history

So as he as he is a parent collecting his child from school do you think the police should also arrest the child who is clearly aiding and abetting all this stalking and harassment? They are clearly in it together.

BBBusterkeys · 15/12/2024 19:11

Lurkingandlearning · 15/12/2024 08:35

Sorry, I should have said another person. The prick is collecting his child from school so he has a reason to be there. What law do you think he is breaking? We do not have sufficient numbers of officers for them to respond to parents being unpleasant to each other at the school gate.

Show quote history

Stalking, harassment, illegally blocking the pavement.you asked what law he was breaking. I think that about covers it.

wfhwfh · 15/12/2024 09:59

This sounds awful and very intimidating and I agree with all the advice given.

Does this man have a child with him when he was making these gestures? Really sad for his child to have to see this.

i agree with others that if he is being this aggressive with you then other people are falling victim to it as well - sadly, probably his family included.

Nolegusta · 15/12/2024 09:31

If he's doing this to you, a random woman minding her own business, then he might well be doing worse to other females in his life. Please consider gathering evidence and reporting him OP. Would any other neighbours also report on your behalf?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 15/12/2024 09:28

Ring doorbell, plus have your phone in your hand recording every time you come out of your house and he is there. Also laugh at him, big smiles. Do not let him see you concerned.

Anothercoffeeafter3 · 15/12/2024 09:25

Do you know anyone with an old banger. I would leave it there for a few weeks (just let the neighbours know)

Melodyfair · 15/12/2024 09:23

You are going to need some evidence of harassment for the police to do anything, a camera of some sort to show he is there each day, that shows his number plate and clearly shows him and any staring or gestures, otherwise to any authorities he’s just parking there, the police won’t respond to only that alone, they need to be provided with hard evidence.

PromoJoJo · 15/12/2024 09:06

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request.

ChristmasEveNotChristmasSteve · 15/12/2024 08:51

What a twat.

Pussycat22 · 15/12/2024 08:46

He's making threatening gestures and harassing you. It's time to act . Phone the police. Parking as he is isn't legal.

Lurkingandlearning · 15/12/2024 08:35

Nanny0gg · 14/12/2024 18:01

She's not driving - she's coming out of her house!!

Show quote history

Sorry, I should have said another person. The prick is collecting his child from school so he has a reason to be there. What law do you think he is breaking? We do not have sufficient numbers of officers for them to respond to parents being unpleasant to each other at the school gate.

Julimia · 14/12/2024 23:05

School staff are played to teach not to be traffic wardens. Please contact the police.

Nanny0gg · 14/12/2024 18:01

Lurkingandlearning · 10/12/2024 09:48

I think it’s local councils that employ traffic wardens. I’d contact them and say they are sure to make money from this man on a daily basis. They may well send someone specifically for him. That might put him off parking there.

I really don’t think the police will do anything about one driver making rude gestures to another. And to be honest, given their appalling response to burglaries and other less newsworthy crimes, I sort of hope they won’t.

She's not driving - she's coming out of her house!!

Gardenbird123 · 14/12/2024 16:38

Can you get some cones and cone off the area so he can't park there? Or park your car there?

Ariela · 14/12/2024 16:36

Don't bother the school - get straight on to your community PCSO and report that he's parking like this daily and it's dangerous for the kids - send photos or ring doorbell footage - I'd buy one specially if you've not got one. They'll be around to ticket very qiuickly.

Resilienceisimportant · 14/12/2024 16:24

I would go out every morning, take pictures or a video of him amd his car. If he asked me what I was doing I would say the police have asked me for evidence of his parking and harassment. Then I would laugh. But that’s just me…….

asthecrowdwaschantingmore · 14/12/2024 16:06

I'd put a camera at your front door, film him/his shitty parking and intimidating behaviour, then contact the police with the footage. Make it indisputable.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/12/2024 23:21

VegTrug · 10/12/2024 09:47

This is the very definition of harassment.

However, I speak from experience when I say that you'll need to be very specific in your language when calling the police non-emergency line to report it. If you begin by mentioning the parking aspect, the call handler will interrupt and state that "parking is not a police issue" etc etc. You need to make it clear from the beginning that you wish to make a report of harassment and then just refer to the parking as part of the wider context.

Sorry if that sounded condescending or patronising but I was in a very similar situation once and the call handler completely shut me down before I could get across that I was actually reporting harassment and not a trespass issue! I had to then try to deal with it without Police intervention which was difficult to say the least!

Edited

This is good advice. The police will make every effort to wriggle out of doing anything useful, so you need to be clear that you (a woman) are being harassed and intimidated by a man who is coming to your street every day, making sure you see him, making offensive gestures etc.

They will still probably be useless if I'm honest.

fashionqueen0123 · 10/12/2024 23:21

In my experience you need to contact a local councillor. Take photos of the car.
Get councillor to put forward the road for yellow lines.
This process takes about 1-2 years. Then when the lines are down ask the council to regularly send traffic wardens.
Police won’t come out for a car on the pavement and council will say police deal with traffic matters . So the this what I have done, and it’s worked.

EauNeu · 10/12/2024 23:18

it's illegal to park on the pavement. plus harrasment. contact the local police

SharpOpalNewt · 10/12/2024 23:16

Funny how every time he parks there he gets a flat tyre.

Lurkingandlearning · 10/12/2024 23:10

yukikata · 10/12/2024 17:57

Umm, this is not a case of 'one driver making rude gestures to another'.

This is a man parking outside of a woman's house daily, to intentionally intimidate her, staring at her, positioning himself in line with her door so she has to look at him.

That's not the same thing, at all.

Show quote history

Well when you put it that way, I’m surprised he’s not already been arrested

yukikata · 10/12/2024 17:57

Lurkingandlearning · 10/12/2024 09:48

I think it’s local councils that employ traffic wardens. I’d contact them and say they are sure to make money from this man on a daily basis. They may well send someone specifically for him. That might put him off parking there.

I really don’t think the police will do anything about one driver making rude gestures to another. And to be honest, given their appalling response to burglaries and other less newsworthy crimes, I sort of hope they won’t.

Umm, this is not a case of 'one driver making rude gestures to another'.

This is a man parking outside of a woman's house daily, to intentionally intimidate her, staring at her, positioning himself in line with her door so she has to look at him.

That's not the same thing, at all.

SinnerBoy · 10/12/2024 15:23

It's interesting that 16% of the voters her are pavement parkers, who think a man harassing a woman walking her child to school is acceptable!

I agree with the advice to report him to the Police. Photographic / video evidence would be good, if you feel confident enough. Could you set your video going just before leaving the house and walking out with your phone clutched to your chest?