To no longer consider GPs feelings at Christmas time?

Cancelling you at the last minute because basically they got a better offer, gives you carte Blanche to do exactly what you want from now on. So do something for yourselves.

Op, I'd be so pissed off too. Tell both sets of inlaws now that next year you're going away for Xmas and new year. So they have plenty of warning to make other plans. Would have been nice if they did the same for you so you could plan something nice!

Does that mean you have Xmas this year just your dh and kids? Is it too late to book a meal out for the day?

A few weeks back there was a thread about a family that refuse to invite or see others for Xmas. I thought they were pretty selfish as their mother and father died without getting to spend one Xmas with their grandchildren. But these selfish people have had the exact Xmas they have wanted for years. It sounds like you've never had a good Xmas and your children's years as children are going fast without you getting to enjoy it. I think you definitely need to be selfish from now on. They've both had their family Xmases with you. Now's the time to say it's been enough.

Try and enjoy your own version of Xmas from now on.

YANBU. And tell the lot who want their presents that they can come and fetch them themselves.

I get guilted every year with the 'it's the one day of the year that GP's shouldn't be on their own'. BUT these are their requirements:
They won't drive.
They won't host.
They won't stay overnight.

I would tell them that there are no physical presents to deliver as you've donated a toilet on their behalf this Christmas.

Your post is reminding me of a quote that is something like 'when people show you what they are really like, believe them'. You offered a lot and they let you down, so it sounds absolutely fair that you restate the boundaries. Good luck and have a great Christmas!

The level of emotional manipulation from extended family on various posts at the moment regarding Christmas plans is unreal! Set your boundaries and remind them about this year and last year if they try and make a fuss again.

All you have to do is say that you are working up to 25th so can't get presents to them before the day but they or your sibling are welcome to collect beforehand or to come for Boxing Day tea and have them then.

Grey rock any sulking (don't rise to it. Stay calm and unemotional and repeat boring facts - 'I am working that day. I can't, I am working.' If they play emotional guilt trips don't respond to this at all, act as though they hadn't. Stay pleasant, quite cheerful and cut the conversation short because... you're working!

Tell them they can collect their presents next time they’re in the area.

Them book Lapland for next year.

They'll be upset because they won't have anything to open? Tell them to grow the fuck up!

Let them arrange to collect presents if they must have them.

They're presumably retired and have free time, so if they want to have presents to open then they can come and get them! 'Sorry, I am too tied up with work'. Serves them right for mucking you about.

I'd also be looking for last minute bargain holidays - as @Justsayit123 says, you've probably got fewer years of having a magical Christmas with your children being small (rather than teenagers who want to spend half the holiday in the pub with friends), so go for it!

I’ve never seen a better reason to buy someone a Unicef Donkey or a bicycle for a midwife in Angola. And absolutely - now - while you remember the nuances of the situation - let them know that you will be making your own plans next year.

From now on you have carte Blanche to do whatever you like! Enjoy!

Just order something online that has a gift wrapping option or is a hamper or something and have it sent to them, then you don't have to waste your time or see them.

Change it now! Try and get away. Let people wait u too after Xmas for presents. They are quite frankly being arseholes.

you have just a few magical years of. Christmas with kids… make the most of it!

I’d speak to a travel agent and see if there are any last minute bargains as there often are if you are openminded about where to go. ‘Christmas is for family’ always seems to be the line when someone else is doing the work… and your DH and you DCs ARE your family. Stuff everyone else.

You have very few years to enjoy your kids before they head off and live independently of you - and I am guessing after all this you’ll be trying not to guilt them into spending adults Christmases with you either - so prioritise your kids and yourselves.

Tell them this and that as a result, you will be booking a ski trip over next Christmas.

Tell them that if they want something to open they are more than welcome to pop round to collect and perhaps see those GC that they don’t want to miss out on.

Don't be angry or nasty, be a little grey rock and don’t accept a fall out - just be calm. Do what you want going forward as they sound rude and selfish AF.

Just decide what you want and inform everyone else what is happening - you want away do it, you want home do it, you want short time away over christmas itself including meal do it. Stop being the door mat and being emotionally manipulated. Go for it

Start planning next year's trip away and don't feel guilty at all!! I hate that every year I am guilt tripped into keeping the grandparents happy, but they wouldn't have any issue saying they are going away, it hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it will. My children are little and we haven't yet been able to spend Xmas day alone at home without having to think about everyone else and do all the driving around, it's really unfair.

Agreed!

I thought you were talking about a doctor GP.lol I was confused at first.lol

‘They’ve changed the set up, and from now on I’m doing what we want to do’

This! ^^

Absolutely do what you want and start as you mean to go on for future years! I’d return the presents to the shops for the people who’ve said they’re ‘not doing presents this year’ as that cuts both ways. Tell the other set they’re free to collect their presents beforehand or wait till they see you next, but no I wouldn’t be busting a gut to drop them off myself.

I think if people are not reliable and can’t stick to plans you avoid doing serious plans with them Christmas or not.
If you have time to visit them before Christmas, do this but if you’ve made your plans already hoping to see them on the day and can’t visit - don’t cancel anything. And do what you prefer next year.

I now have to get everyone’s presents together and take them over before Christmas (despite working all the time till 25th) because they said they’ll have nothing to open and will be upset.

No one cares about you being upset though. Obviously start by not taking their presents over like a total mug