To no longer consider GPs feelings at Christmas time?

They don't seem to confider other peoples feelings so why should theirs be considered? Going forward l would do what works best for you

Good for you op it's dreadful.

YANBU Welcome to Christmas how you want to do it and hopefully DP is onboard!

Call and say their presents are ready for them to collect. You can't deliver as you're working.

Sit down over Christmas & plan next year's getaway ✈️ 🚢

YANBU. Me and my husband alternate Christmas and Boxing Day every year between our parents. The last couple of years my parents have gone to my sisters as I was working last Christmas Day and my husband is working this one. My parents live about 45 minutes from us which isn’t far I know but when you’ve done a 12 hour shift at the hospital the last thing you want to do is drive that far when you’re tired (PIL live three streets away from us). This year it’s different as we have my grandson with us full time and we agreed for his first Christmas he could spend the day with his mom at my PIL (she can’t have him unsupervised). My parents don’t mind this as we’ve worked it out that the next two years after this one we’ll be at theirs to make up for missing two Christmas days but we are going Boxing Day this year like we did last year

Yep!

Be worth it not to have to trail lol xx

I'm also petty so this would have previously been my go-to move, but have you seen the price of postage recently? Like fuck would I spend even more on sending them their gifts!

I am shocking for being petty OP so I would pop the presents in the post tomorrow and dismiss all thoughts out of my mind of any of them. Done posted off and out of my mind. Then I would focus all my energy on those who mean the most to me and fuck everyone else. No explanation to be given ..if anyone says anything you reply sorry busy..thats all. They can sulk all they like.let them.Shut the worry out of your mind and be done.

They need to collect the gifts from you if they will otherwise be 'so upset at having nothing to open on Christmas day'. Do not be delivering them to them like a mug

I can’t stand adults beinf childish and attention seeking over Christmas. Even worse when there are actual children involved
Id make my own plans from now on, if they want to fit in with them, fine.

YANBU. Use this as an opportunity to reset your Christmases.

Firstly I wouldn't be delivering presents. They want to cancel with two weeks' notice? Not a problem. They need to let you know when they want to come to collect their gifts.

Secondly I would be telling them that you're glad they have decided do Christmas to suit themselves from now on. As this means you will also do the same, and here is plenty of notice that you'll be away for Christmas 2025 so they know to make their own arrangements.

Me too!

So they change your Christmas plans at ridiculously short notice but then say that you need to get their Christmas presents to them as otherwise they will have nothing top open and will be upset?? Are they small children? If not, that behaviour is completely unacceptable and you need to stop pandering to them.

Don't bother with their presents. And this does give you permission (not that you need it) to do what you would like to do for Christmas instead of dancing to their tune.

Get booking a holiday for next Christmas and sod taking their gifts before Christmas, they changed plans so get them when they get them. Don't put yourself out.

I too thought you were talking about doctors at first!

I think you should do what you want for Christmas going forward.

Usually I am on the side of making an effort with extended family at Christmas. But in this case, I would tell them that, since they cancelled at short notice, you were not planning a trip to theirs and do not have time. If they want to drop by they can pick them up, otherwise, you will get them to you when you see them.

Tell them now that you are going away next year.

Definitely start pleasing your own immediate family - sounds like someone should.

I would make a plan for this Christmas today and then stick to it.
ie. on Christmas Eve we are doing this, this and this.
On Christmas Day we will be staying at home as a family.
On Boxing Day we will visit X relative and Y friend.
Whatever you want to do.
Once you've got that plan in place you can decide when you want to take the presents round to the lot who aren't away.

And then in February I would book a holiday for next Christmas so you finally get to do what you want to do and once it's booked that means you won't be hosting any grandparents and you won't be changing your plans. Booking early while you still remember how much theyve pissed you off this year means you won't have a chance to forget or think it's not that bad or whatever which might happen if you put off booking until say July.

Why do they get to dictate what you do with your children on Christmas day? No-one is entitled to see your children on Christmas day. They aren't bothered about seeing you? Do what you want. See them another time.

Absolutely moving forward you do what suits your own nuclear family. Both sets sound horrid.

God they all sound horrific! @HumbugsGoingBah You poor thing!

Do your own thing this year, and then next year go away all over Christmas and New Year, (or just stay home and don't see any of them!)

Why are some grandparents like this? I don't have grandchildren, but if I ever do, I can't see myself ever being like this. I fucking hope I'm not anyway!

If my DC and their children (if/when they have them) want to do their own thing at Christmas, DH and I will be happy to see them 22nd-23rd for a few hours, and then in the New Year.

My mom used to make me feel like shit if I even suggested not seeing her and my dad on Christmas day (to stay for 2-3 hours.) I NEVER want to make my DC feel like she made me feel if I didn't do what she wanted, with her snarky, passive-aggressive attitude if I dared to even THINK about rebelling!

.

OP your comment of 'sucking up some pretty shit Christmases' really stuck a chord with me. I had such a shit Christmas last year, tying myself up in knots accommodating GPs who made the whole day as miserable as possible for my kids. I bought food that GPs wanted, did a 50 mile pick up trip, cooked lunch, bought presents, couldn't drink only to be told how uncomfortable the chairs were, how cold they were (the house was like furnace with the oven on) and how they 'couldn't possibly eat all that food'. It was when my kids retreated to their rooms after lunch that I decided I couldn't tolerate such a shit Christmas for my kids sake. I put my coat on and grabbed the car keys and told them it was time to go as I wasn't driving another 50 miles in the dark. Something snapped that day - they bought nothing, contributed nothing, made no effort and made my family's day miserable. Never again - I simply will not have my kids enduring another shit Christmas day.

I wouldn’t go out of my way to get presents to them. I would get them and say they are here for you to collect and see the grandkids at the same time as you won’t be seeing them this year

then after Christmas so Jan 25 I would send a note to both sets saying that this Christmas you are going away so won’t be hosting