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Original poster

Party - are people just rude now

184 replies

Meltedcheese2 · 10/12/2024 05:57

Hosted Xmas get together for 30 people on Saturday late afternoon and evening - 12 adults, rest kids.

Feeding everyone so ALOT of work and prep

2 different families didn't turn up (one last minute message, 1 didn't even message just said to a fellow attendee - can you let them know kids playing up so we aren't coming)

2 others turned up completely empty handed and the expected to be waited on hand and foot the entire time and then asked for leftovers to take home!

Is it just me or is this really rude. You've said yes, I've catered for you, cleaned house top to bottom spent an absolute fortune and people just flake last minute or turn up and take the mick.

I absolutely understand if it's illness or family emergency but it wasn't. Just say no and I won't cater for you.

It then emerged during the party that one of the groups hadn't come because a large number of them had all been out together the night before and were.partied out......We didn't ask you to come as we knew you'd be busy arranging this......

OP posts:
MillyGoat · 10/12/2024 06:31

Happyinarcon · 10/12/2024 06:08

This is a difficult time of year. I can imagine people feeling they’d like to come along and then actually feeling exhausted on the day, or having a neurodiverse kid that needs coaxing to get out of the house. People are under a lot of pressure. I would feel fed up in your shoes, but I also know how hard it can be to get the family out the door.

Where on earth does neurodiversity come into this?? Are we all supposed to tiptoe around rude behaviour saying oh I mustn’t say anything just in case there’s a neurodiverse child in the mix…

Rude is rude. There’s never an excuse!

Original poster
Meltedcheese2 · 10/12/2024 06:11

Happyinarcon · 10/12/2024 06:08

This is a difficult time of year. I can imagine people feeling they’d like to come along and then actually feeling exhausted on the day, or having a neurodiverse kid that needs coaxing to get out of the house. People are under a lot of pressure. I would feel fed up in your shoes, but I also know how hard it can be to get the family out the door.

Thanks - and I absolutely agree and get that. I really do - but what got me was not sending a message. I would have been absolutely fine with "x is not coping, we can't come, I am really sorry". But to not even message was what really bothered me. But I do get the wider point.

OP posts:
EachpeachpearplumIspytomthumb · 10/12/2024 06:11

I wouldn’t invite either family again (particularly the one who didn’t even bother telling you they weren’t coming - I’d be fuming).

JustAFear · 10/12/2024 06:10

Happyinarcon · 10/12/2024 06:08

This is a difficult time of year. I can imagine people feeling they’d like to come along and then actually feeling exhausted on the day, or having a neurodiverse kid that needs coaxing to get out of the house. People are under a lot of pressure. I would feel fed up in your shoes, but I also know how hard it can be to get the family out the door.

Look I get looking for the nice in people, but it’s the constant justification of bad behaviour, inventing reasons out of absolutely nothing, which keep supporting it! The OP literally tells you the reason that one of the groups didn’t come, it’s a shit reason and very rude of them.

Happyinarcon · 10/12/2024 06:08

This is a difficult time of year. I can imagine people feeling they’d like to come along and then actually feeling exhausted on the day, or having a neurodiverse kid that needs coaxing to get out of the house. People are under a lot of pressure. I would feel fed up in your shoes, but I also know how hard it can be to get the family out the door.

Monty27 · 10/12/2024 06:07

How rude. Really rude.
I hope you didn't give the doggy bag too.

BunsenBurnerBaby · 10/12/2024 06:05

i don’t host for parties because I find it stressing and hard work and more enjoy social get togethers that don’t place a burden on any one family or household. I don’t normally go to parties either (people who know me well enough to invite me know I am likely to decline!). You placed an obligation and a set of expectations on others who were not up for it and don’t follow the same social rules as you do. That’s on you. Having said that, yes, they should have behaved differently. Them not inviting you out the night before: now that tells me these people are not the friends you think they are.

ZekeZeke · 10/12/2024 06:02

They are NOT friends, don't bother into the future

Ndd1356387 · 10/12/2024 05:59

Horrible behaviour

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