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To think 11 year old stepson is disrespectful

180 replies

Anon171880 · 09/12/2024 23:56

I've been with his father for 3 and a half years and we also have a child together. I've also got other children from previous relationship.
More recently his son has become more and more disrespectful towards me, rude, ignores me, even kicked me before.
His dad tells him off but it doesn't really make much difference.
I struggle to get along with him as he is just rude. Gets excluded from school with no consequences, told my younger children to f off when they went into their bedroom because they were annoying him.
Poured water on his 2 year old brother's head because he put beans on his phone!
But if I say anything about the way he is or tell his dad that I don't want to watch him whilst he's working if he's just going to be disrespectful then it starts an argument.

OP posts:
Tandora · 10/12/2024 00:13

His mum is just not the best role model and he doesn't spend as much time with her as he should however, he doesn't want to live with us

so….. he lives with his mum?

”not the best role model” ? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

sprigatito · 10/12/2024 00:12

He's on the verge of puberty and sounds pretty mixed up and unhappy to boot. Has he just started secondary school?

He needs active, loving parenting with firm boundaries and lots of reassurance. That's your DP's role - is he doing it?

Anon171880 · 10/12/2024 00:10

@CrackersAndMarmite he spends quite a far amount of time with me and I think he actually behaves better when his dad isn't around.

His mum is just not the best role model and he doesn't spend as much time with her as he should however, he doesn't want to live with us as he says his dad annoys him sometimes.
I've had numerous conversations with him about his feelings but he's not very open to conversation with anyone. All my family have also welcomed him, he was not like this before but now his behaviour has just changed.
He has been in our lives for almost 4 years and spends a lot of time with us so I don't know why the behaviour change. Nothing much has changed other than the behaviour.

OP posts:
CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 00:04

Poor little kid. Sounds like things are bothering him and coming out as poor behaviour.

What are his strengths? What activities have you suggested the two of you do together? How much 1:1 time does his dad spend with him? How much 1:1 time do you spend with him? How does he know you love and care about him? What do you do to show him you r there for him and want to support him?

What avenues does he have to talk about his feelings and worries? What happened with his mum? Does he see her?

Poor thing. It's tough being 11 and having a step mum. Hope he's ok.

SENMUMwhatnext · 10/12/2024 00:04

You have a DP problem.