Aibu to keep my daughter off school?

Do you think possibly adhd or autism?
As they can be associated with tics
Has she had or got friends?
Does she know how to make them
Generally have sleep issues?
Tantrums or crying?
Would she prefer to play with the boys?

Of course you are doing the right thing. Her physical and mental health are the most important things. I think you will need to keep pushing to access help and support though. Children can always stay back a year if necessary. Keep pushing and advocating for her! 👍

Trust your own instincts...always! You know your child best.

My child had a breakdown in year 7 due to lack of support in primary school and denial of needs. Apparently, she was always 'fine' at school. I knew that she wasn't.

You will be gaslighted by the school.

I've since fought for an EHCP and my child is now in a specialist setting. Still a long road to recovery but getting there.

If I'd had my time again, I would say to home educate.

Join some national.home education Facebook groups for support.

For CAMHS etc, it's a case of she who shouts loudest. That said, if she's not in school, she'll probably be better.

Apply for DLA so you can spend that money on home edding. Contact your local council's money advice unit for assistance with applying. If your child has greater needs than am average 6 year old, you are likely to get it. No diagnosis required.

You can't just keep her off without the necessary paperwork to back you up and have no consequences. If she is registered with a school then that's where she needs to be until you have the medical evidence to back up your decisions or do what lots of families do and deregister.

You need to get her an EHCP started you can do this yourself.

To go into school and have a face to face meeting with the SENCO to get assessments in progress and reasonable adjustments in place - this could be part-time time tables, quiet place at lunch to recharge.

You keep on at the Drs or go private by taking out a loan so she gets the assessments that she needs.

You keep home low demand and relaxing and prioritise her spending her energy on her school hours.

Can you go to school in the mornings - main lessons then.

Can you volunteer to get a feel for school and what’s she like?

Could you get school involved more - I mean what do they see/think?

Work with the school not against, they have access to agencies that could help.

The school get all sorts of shit from on high if their attendance is poor so they will try to get you to get her in.
As a teacher it is really hard because we so often get told that the child who doesn’t display any problems in school is having huge problems at home. I’m sure this is often the case but it’s hard to help with as we simply don’t see it.

Withdrawing and home educating is certainly an option worth considering.

I think you have to decide if she is going to go to school or be home educated and then throw all your resources behind that decision and stick with it, because chopping and changing is going to add to the anxiety.
She is not going to adjust to school unless she is there, but clearly she can’t cope with being there in the current form. So how can the school support? What does she need to be less anxious in school?
My dd is EBSA, currently she is on a customised timetable that she helped put together, based around an assessment of what aspects of school made her most/least anxious. Who can the school get to support them? Do they have a schools mental health team? An ELSA? Can she see an EP? What about a reduced timetable? Flexischooling?

I came on to flag PANS PANDAS too, I see someone else got there first! Assuming you know about this condition but just in case not…

Google 'not fine in school ' and Naomi Fisher. Many, many families in your position. It's a difficult road, but there is a lot of support available.

Do you think in the meantime she’ll be able to handle going for short days- sort of gradual entry- 1st week for 2 hrs a day, 2nd wk for 3 etc?

School won’t like it if you keep her off (attendance is more important to them than your child’s mental health 🙄) but they will have to deal with it. Personally if my 6 year old was as miserable as you say I’d be keeping them off too. Be prepared for a fight though as they don’t take kindly to it but it may well help speed up support being put in place. Be your child’s voice and advocate.

Your alternative is to pull her out completely and home educate her as before. If you need any advice on this I can help (ex primary teacher now home educator).

Please consider posting this in the PANS PANDAS UK support group on Facebook too

Ah so sorry. Sounds awful for your daughter. You definitely need to access support. Definitely speak to your GP and book a meeting with the school Senco (special needs coordinator). Keep communicating and pushing for help. I wouldn't remove her from school yet as they will just say we can't help her unless she's in.

Have you spoken to her doctor? To the school? What support is available?