Disappointing birthday, AIBU?

It’s not poor guy at all!

Dear God - why didn’t you tell him where to stick it?

Use your words? Don't do the chores you asked him to do?

Birthday or not, stop doing chores that you've asked someone else to do. Just leave them.
For your birthday - if were that disappointed with my day, I'd announce to the family be that I'm having a birthday celebration on such-a-date (eg a Saturday) and that we're going for dinner at X. And that I expect DH to book it and drive me there. Ask him about the necklace, if the explanation doesn't suit take it back and order the one you want.
Don't have sex on any day if you don't feel like it. That's just a given.
Happy big birthday 🎂

Whenever this happened to me I bought myself some very nice jewellery! Have a fair bit now!

Oh give it a rest

It doesn't hurt to show someone they matter

Did you actually want the sex?

Did you let him know how you felt about today?

Look, just because you have an incredibly low bar and expect to have nothing nice in life, that doesn't mean the rest of us have to be beaten down drudges too. We don't have to be grateful for crumbs.
It's sad for you that you have no self worth but don't advise others to give up.on theirs.

I think it’s a mentality thing. My birthday falls on the 30th December and I’ve learned over the years to expect little because so much is happening around that time.

I come from a wealthy family. My husband and I are well off. However let me tell you this - it doesn’t matter what the gifts are. I never once cared; 1) no expectations no disappointments 2) it’s the thought that matters.

it would have definitely been nice for your partner to make a nice breakfast or dinner. But honestly birthdays are not that big of a deal. You are blessed with loved ones around you, comfortable finances, a roof over your head.

I also always try to remember that what I am complaining about now is what I used to dream of a few years ago :)

This.

I'm sorry, but the fact someone got off there arse and got me something, I'd be grateful. If I really wanted a break from housework/cooking i would just do it, if stuff needed doing, he'd just have to deal with it. If I wanted something as specific as a particular necklace and it was that important to me. I would sort it myself.

Everyone has different expectations, wishes, and they could easily be misconstrued, got wrong or missed altogether if passed to someone else to sort out.

I have stopped expecting so much of orhers and, honestly, I feel much more chilled about stuff.

You haven't been completely forgotten about its just not met your expectations. You can either have that constant battle, relax your expectations a bit or take control of it more and spoon feed them or just sort it yourself.

YABU for not making your wishes known. Or, even better, arranging what it is you want to do.
Personally, I like a party for a big birthday, so, every decade, I arrange it, and therefore I have a great time.
Other years I say
"For my birthday, I want to go out for the day"
or
"For my birthday, I'm going out for afternoon tea with my pals"
or
"For my birthday, I fancy a nice Italian meal - which day shall we go?"

I cannot understand people who want to celebrate a birthday, not actually having a conversation with their nearest and dearest, to make arrangement to do whatever makes you happy, but, instead, just not saying anything and having a dull, or even miserable day. It's bizarre.

Do you like him much? I don’t give a fig about birthday presents as being with my funny, kind, caring husband pretty much every day is better than a once a year present. Birthday sex should be the same as any other sex, consensual and pleasurable. I am not sure what you want here, pity or to be told that you and he are incompatible? Are you generally quite needy and miserable or is it that your life is not good and getting worse?

No. I'm just shocked by the attitudes on display by so-called adults.

"It took me a few years to get DH into shape for my birthday, partly because I don’t think he would notice his own if I didn’t make a big deal of it. Now he starts planning before I would expect him to."

Poor guy.

Sorry to hear this OP. I posted about my crappy birthday last summer while sitting in Costa on my own. I went in to work 2 days before (Fri) & a colleague's birthday was the day before mine & we were chatting about it. Suddenly everyone started singing happy birthday. I started to blush as I thought they were singing to both of us, but no, just her, gave her a card infront of me & absolutely nothing for me, no mention of it on the group chat & not a single FB message from anyone. I reckon (hope) the birthday notifications were down that day 🤔. Do something nice for yourself. The day is still young

Are you the crappy DH in this scenario or something?

Birthday fuss is for children, surely?

What self-respecting adult demands xyz and has a tantrum if things aren't just right?

The OP got multiple presents from her family. So fucking what if it's not the exact necklace she wanted?

The freezer meal is a bit shit, but she could very, very easily have said she wanted to order a takeaway. The same with the household chores - 'DH would you mind doing x, I'm putting my feat up.'

It's just a childish sulk over nothing.

Perhaps her husband is sick of the annual grief and behaviour associated with just another day a grown adult's birthday?

Last year I didn't even get a card ... wasn't a big birthday no surprises nothing makes you feel awful so this year I've made a point of nothing special back and sure enough people are wanting to do stuff this year and buy me stuff take me
Places, funny how they suddenly change when they get the same back.
Happy birthday anyway , next year take yourself somewhere nice like a spa leave them all to it.

Be just as crap back when it’s his birthday!

The Dec and January birthdays are overlooked its crap. Happy B op. My mum gave me nothing for 50th. I decided I would put small efforts into theirs now. It does hurt though as u say

The “so there” made me laugh 😂

I think if you want a big fuss for birthdays you need to be the one who drives the birthday train.

Your husband hasn’t stepped up here (who wants freezer dinner on their birthday??) so I would just give him the necklace back to return, ask him to buy the one you actually wanted and specifically asked for, and ask when he’s taking you out for dinner.

I’m assuming you do things for his birthday and don’t eat freezer dinner then?

Sorry your birthday was diaapointing.

How far in advance did you send the link to the necklace, are we talking months, weeks , days? Only asking this as mine has an absolute terrible memory, so if I send something too far in advance , there is a chance it will be forgotten. You aren't in the wrong for calling it out.

Sorry you had a crappy birthday but I do feel there's an element of martyrdom. In our house we ask each other what the other wants to do/wants for dinner. Use your voice. Don't do chores, surely most of them can wait one day.

OP you need to stop doing the chores you asked your husband do forthwith. You also need to tell him how upset you are at his lack of care about your birthday. Who cares if he doesn’t like it. Or you do the same for him when it’s his birthday. I like presents and being spoilt on my birthday and I expect my husband to do it. I work hard for the family all year round and it’s the one day of the year that I want to be spoilt. I make no bones about that and neither should you OP. You are being entirely reasonable in your feelings. Happy belated Birthday 🎁

That’s really sad & even sadder that you think it’s ok. Most of us have higher standards & expect to be treated as an equal. You need to work on your self-esteem.