Disappointing birthday, AIBU?

@DowntonFlabbie
I've read your other posts and you are so judgeMENTAL

Jealous? Of you

I think it’s a mentality thing. My birthday falls on the 30th December and I’ve learned over the years to expect little because so much is happening around that time.

I come from a wealthy family. My husband and I are well off. However let me tell you this - it doesn’t matter what the gifts are. I never once cared; 1) no expectations no disappointments 2) it’s the thought that matters.

it would have definitely been nice for your partner to make a nice breakfast or dinner. But honestly birthdays are not that big of a deal. You are blessed with loved ones around you, comfortable finances, a roof over your head.

I also always try to remember that what I am complaining about now is what I used to dream of a few years ago :)

That's brilliant you that you don't mind others putting zero effort in for your birthday 👏

The op does mind though, as is her right

@MintShaker Why do you make so much effort for others? because you care about them. Op just wants to be shown that others care for her. It's amazing that someone so lacking in empathy as you displayed here, makes so much effort for others, I find that hard to believe.

I never get birthday or Christmas gifts from my husband children parents or anyone in fact. I always put a lot of thought and effort into buying for them and that's the way it should be. I cannot for the life of me understand why adults get so precious, demanding and downright entitled about wanting presents, it makes zero sense, it's better to give to other people than to sit like a pampered Prince or princess and wait for others spending their time, effort and money.

@Bachboo I have just told my dh that he is going shopping next weekend for both my birthday cake and a surprise for me... his face was a picture.

Thank you for feeling the same as I did.

I pulled him up. He says it’s not very nice that I had a go at him and he ‘forgot’ (asked multiple times and he said yes) - this is for stuff he just should do anyway to be honest, like loading the dishwasher. Not a special ‘job’ id assigned because it was my birthday

I never get birthday or Christmas gifts from my husband children parents or anyone in fact. I always put a lot of thought and effort into buying for them and that's the way it should be. I cannot for the life of me understand why adults get so precious, demanding and downright entitled about wanting presents, it makes zero sense, it's better to give to other people than to sit like a pampered Prince or princess and wait for others spending their time, effort and money.

Dear God - why didn’t you tell him where to stick it?

Return the necklace and exchange it for the one you want.

Next year -

'Can you get me xyz fir my birthday please' (with link)

Order a takeaway/book a meal

Have flowers delivered

Say 'I'm getting up late in the morning you need to get up with the kids'

Don't do any chores

I pulled him up. He says it’s not very nice that I had a go at him and he ‘forgot’ (asked multiple times and he said yes) - this is for stuff he just should do anyway to be honest, like loading the dishwasher. Not a special ‘job’ id assigned because it was my birthday

@DowntonFlabbie

Get back under your bridge, you are so nasty.

In other words, your life is shit and you'd like ours to be as well so you don't feel so bad about it.

Hard pass.

I get presents. And dinner and drinks and another dinner and drinks with friends and a homemade cake as well. And it's fabulous and I deserve it. So there.

I feel for you here OP.
My birthday is always overlooked and always has been even as a kid - joys of being a Christmas day baby 🙄.
My dh used to be really thoughtful but since we got married it has all changed. He gives me a small amount of money to buy what I want, but I would really love a surprise - he just doesn't want to surprise me. Whatever I do pick out is just wrapped into 1 parcel so not even the excitement of unwrapping multiple presents, or separated into Christmas and birthday. Last year was a big birthday and it was entirely forgotten (despite many conversations previously) which was especially hurtful as I make a fuss of both dh and the kids.
I have no energy for it this year but next year I am going to buy little things for myself and wrap them and put them away until Christmas. I am also going low effort on dh for both his Christmas and birthday... I might even 'forget' his birthday cake... like mine always is unless I buy it. Oh and my next big birthday will be a trip away... I have 9 years to save for it, and if he continues with his a-hole ways it will be a solo trip 😁

Look, just because you have an incredibly low bar and expect to have nothing nice in life, that doesn't mean the rest of us have to be beaten down drudges too. We don't have to be grateful for crumbs.
It's sad for you that you have no self worth but don't advise others to give up.on theirs.

Oh give it a rest

It doesn't hurt to show someone they matter

This.

I'm sorry, but the fact someone got off there arse and got me something, I'd be grateful. If I really wanted a break from housework/cooking i would just do it, if stuff needed doing, he'd just have to deal with it. If I wanted something as specific as a particular necklace and it was that important to me. I would sort it myself.

Everyone has different expectations, wishes, and they could easily be misconstrued, got wrong or missed altogether if passed to someone else to sort out.

I have stopped expecting so much of orhers and, honestly, I feel much more chilled about stuff.

You haven't been completely forgotten about its just not met your expectations. You can either have that constant battle, relax your expectations a bit or take control of it more and spoon feed them or just sort it yourself.

Do you like him much? I don’t give a fig about birthday presents as being with my funny, kind, caring husband pretty much every day is better than a once a year present. Birthday sex should be the same as any other sex, consensual and pleasurable. I am not sure what you want here, pity or to be told that you and he are incompatible? Are you generally quite needy and miserable or is it that your life is not good and getting worse?