I AM FUMING!!!!!! SUGGESTIONS PLEASE

Have you tried having a chat with your godparent? They may be a good confidante.

I’m not sure that’s always the case. I’ve been working on my family tree for a few years and that doesn’t seem to fit with my ancestors. Also on a personal level my child has my surname.

This technology isn't going anywhere. It wouldn't surprise me if, in a decade or two, everyone in the UK is offered a DNA test on the NHS to identify certain health conditions and treat them early. I think we'll eventually reach the point where the cost of the DNA tests is outweighed by the savings to the NHS. In fact, the NHS began a study a few weeks ago in which hundreds of newborns were DNA-tested to screen for genetic disorders. I suspect will ultimately become routine healthcare.

Of course, this will lead to some rather... uncomfortable discoveries. But it will probably be a net positive for society. There will be fewer people who lie to their children and/or partners about parentage in the first place, because they'll know they'll be caught soon enough.

I'm not quite sure why we're labouring this point?

I have 344 pages of matches, each with 50 matches on them. As I click through them, the vast majority use their own name.

I have no idea why you don't see the same on your Ancestry. It's what I see on mine.

But either way, the original point was someone asking how the OP can see her Dad's name. Even if only a few of yours don't show a full name, you're not saying none are, are you? And so, that's the asnwer to how how people can see a full name.

I have 7 family trees I'm researching - mine, my late husband, a local historic figure, and 4 others I'm helping out.

DNA companies only have the DNA of people who have uploaded their DNA test results to the website.

However, they are very popular so if you upload your DNA you will find matches. They might be distant cousins, or closer family members.

In the OP's case, her biological Dad happens to be a member of the website and has sent in his DNA sample and marked that he's open to matches getting in touch.

I don't think the OP's mum is on it.

They wouldn't need her mum's DNA and her bio father would have to already be in the system to find a match.
But those DNA databases are now able to identify similarities out to 3rd and 4th cousin.

i don’t understand what has happened here. How can you send off your DNA and be matched with anyone? How did the DNA company have the DNA of your mum and this bloke who has been named as your dad?

@Maddy70 I don't know why you would feel sorry for her Dad, he sounds completely spineless and an enabler. He hasn't had OP's back whilst her mum has bullied her continuously so he can have an easy life. She has no loyalty to either parent.

Maybe your relatives are more concerned with privacy than mine?! 😂

Just had a look at my first 50 matches. 11 have only initials or usernames that aren't a full name. The remaining 39 are all using their full names - so a sizable majority.

I'm always surprised on these DNA test threads by the number of people who are terrified that they'll blow up their family. That said, my parents themselves gave the kits to me and my siblings as gifts, so I guess they were fairly sure of our parentage.

I still think it's best to be honest. If the family side with OP's mother, so be it. Better to know where you stand than have to lie the rest of your life to protect a parent so scummy that she'd rather besmirch her own daughter's reputation than come clean about her own past. I'd seriously consider cutting ties with her over this. It is 100% NOT her mother's secret to keep. It's OP's own DNA, her own origin. Of course she deserves the truth about that, and it's her right to share that information with whomever she chooses.

I don't see a lot on there with their real name. I see names like Nikki2021 or myfamsearch or connex or jimnpeggyfam.

Traditionally babies are given their mums name and it changes when the mums name changes. It's only more recently where marriage isn't as common that the dad's name is more often given while unmarried as the mum doesn't have intention of changing her name but the dad is still going to be actively involved.

This is what I'd do as well. She's no big loss.

That's kinda disingenuous! Most people on Ancestry who aren't anonymous use their full name as their username.

Fair enough, it might not be their real name, but it usually is as people are on there wanting to be found!

Not wildly inaccurate at all.

The law is very clear.

"If the parents have married or enter into a civil partnership after the child was born, they are legally required to re-register the birth. This is the case even if the father is already on the child's birth certificate. This particular requirement stems from The Legitimacy Act, section 9.
The relevant form is LA1.
In the event that the father did not already have parental responsibility, the father will acquire parental responsibility once the birth has been re-registered in accordance with Section 4 (1A) of the Children Act 1989."

Here's mine from yesterday. Obviously I have redacted identifying information.
See the buttons Connect to Tree, Message and Edit Relationship? Once you get a notification you can just press the buttons to take action.

Ancestry is both for people who simply want to know their heritage and for those who want to find family members, both living and deceased.

Once you upload your DNA and give your permission, you'll get access to literally hundreds of matches, mostly with distant cousins, and you can access their family trees if they've made them. The website tells you their name (if they've made it public), where they are and how close the match is.

If close relatives such as mystery fathers have uploaded their DNA then absolutely you'll be informed. They'll be informed there's a match too. It happens a lot these days!

Same

Sorry I know this isn't the point of this thread, but the people questioning how this has happened with the DNA test, well BBC radio have a really interesting series about similar situations and the impact on the families involved https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0gd2dgb

Ancestry doesn't provide the name, Ancestry enables messaging between the user names. The people behind those user names can then exchange contact details if they want to.

I would tell your father (the man who brought you up) and of course make it clear that you still regard him as your father but that you might want to meet your genetic father. A child born within marriage is deemed the child of the mother's husband unless proven to the contrary - David Blunkett brought in laws about this which in the end entitled him to challenge his married lover's child's parentage - it was Blunkett's child born from adultery of its mother with DB.

However there may be inheritance and psychological consequences but as the cat is now let out of the bag you might as well go through with it and your mother will calm down or not as she chooses but no need for you to lie to family.

Not read all this thread, but the reaction of the OP's mother is not unique. On the BBC News website there was a story about a woman looking into a Romanian fostering scandal - I think - and found herself part of the story when she did a DNA test. Her real biological mother wanted her to go along with a made-up story that she as an infant has been kidnapped by her parents from their real mother when in fact she'd given her away, and refused to engage with her when her daughter would not go along with that lie. Not quite the same, but some just do not want to face up to their own culpability.

The ancestry site links you to other members with shared genes. The site is anonymous unless you privately message people. I have met a number of distant relatives through it and it is useful when clearing up lineage.
My mums cousin had a baby adopted, she was a teenage mum during the 60s. I knew about this relative but was surprised to find out that there was also another child.
They found out about each other a few years ago via the adoption agencies and met up but their mother didn’t want to meet them. They have met up with her sister though.
The family knew about the second child because the pregnancy was not hidden but the first one was not common knowledge. My mums cousin was sent away.
In fact very few members of the family knew about the first pregnancy. Different times.

If you match with another person on Ancestry, you are given the opportunity to contact them anonymously (via their username) in a messenger platform within Ancestry. Ancestry is about finding relatives after all. I have heaps of 2nd and 3rd cousins Ancestry keeps telling me I can contact to share info.