My husband referred to me as a “bigger girl”

The way people feel bothered by or the need to comment on other people’s weight is astounding to me. At least this person was honestly admitting it was about aesthetics. A lot of people like to pretend their concerns are health related when really they just don’t like seeing fat people.

I didn't say pelvis size had anything to do with being 14 to16, I said that size was average for mature women (as opposed to young women). The pelvis bit is rather by the way (but could have a bearing on increased caesarians since more women who would not have survived childbirth now do and thus are more likely to pass on the genes for a narrow pelvis). Where exactly does a female pelvis measure 12"? Not across the hips, presumably, but in the area of the perineum?

I don't think it's purely down to self control or exercise- although to be sure there was much more incidental exercise in the 70s as online shopping didn't exist and less people owned cars.

Fast food is deliberately designed to be addictive, food is available for consumption everywhere, snacking is an all day event and people don't smoke as much anymore- which is obviously a good thing !

But this isn't the case for all countries, most other European countries seem to still prioritise home cooking and moderate portion sizes.

In the UK we have become less aware of what a healthy weight looks like because we are expanding. NB being low weight can also not be healthy as a woman as more likely to get osteoporosis. My DM has always been critical of my size (14 and tubby but I do a lot of exercise), but now she adds in "Its good you're big so you won't get this terrible disease ", which is meant to be comforting rather than insulting, but somehow manages both at the same time.

I’m not in the UK. The local MN favourite Uniqlo stocks adult women’s trousers/jeans in sizes 22 to 26. You might find a 27 if you are lucky. That’s waist size, not dress size.

The percentage of cesarian births is quite high.

It depends on the person, as said earlier, a 14 on me at 5ft 7 and I was clinically obese with a bmi of 31.

Wow! Is a 14 considered big 🤦‍♀️ I'd love to be a 14!

@StMarie4me The problem is vanity sizing. A size 14 now would be 4 inches larger on the waist than it was in the 1970's. We all eat more, do less exercise and are never held to account.

I remember at school we had a full tuck shop available to all. If you had the money you could buy what you wanted when you wanted but as we all did exercise no one was fat. Now no one has any self control (including me) but we just have to own it or nothing will change.

Ignorant? I was sharing the image that 'the girls' conjures up in my head but feel free to sneer and judge me!

I can't stop anyone using 'girls' to refer to grown women, or 'boys' to refer to grown men for that matter. I personally find it slightly creepy and patronising, whereas using 'bigger' as a euphemism for being fat is a non-issue for me.

Is that OK with you?

Am I now going to get piled on for using the f word?

Yeah, it's judgemental but also ignorant. Surely you know that people other than those you are sneering at also refer to themselves and their friends as girls in certain situations? I assume the people whose opinion you care about know not ever to say e.g. "some of the girls are going down the pub for a beer" and that (to put it in the context of the OP), if you have a partner they know not to call you a girl despite being very sure (assuming an intimate relationship) you are a woman.
OP didn't raise it as an issue so I guess she's OK with her husband calling her a girl. I can imagine my husband putting his arm around me if I was upset and saying "come on girl, it'll be OK".

Samantha Janus was a size eight in eastenders, plenty of interviews at rhe time.

Try not to take offence, I'm like you shape wise. Samantha Janus was a size 14 when she was in Eastenders and she looked like a model! Some people have wide frames including me so I look good at size 14.
Others have small skeletons so they can look very different.

@Phoenixfire1988 "I was an 8 and went to a 12 and I looked huge !! I'm 5ft 4 so at a size 14-16 I'd look like the marshmallow man from ghost busters"

Why did you feel the need to post that ? Did you think people would find it amusing?
I am a size 14-16 , at 5ft6 I do factually look big compared to my 5ft size 8 friend.
But as I exercise regularly and have naturally big shoulders and hips, I don't think I look like marshmallow man
And yes I know you're going to come back and say that's how you feel you look, but it's a pretty judgmental comment.

Eugh hadn't read the thread and won't be reading it properly should have known how it would have gone

God I thought mine was bad for stupid comments. Have to assume that he didn't mean harm though if he's generally good. And that he doesn't have a problem with your size or he wouldn't have thought this was an innocent comment ? Until he had seen your face that is!

I was an 8 and went to a 12 and I looked huge !! I'm 5ft 4 so at a size 14-16 I'd look like the marshmallow man from ghost busters

This is about your lack of self-esteem, OP. There’s nothing wrong with your body, or with DH! He obviously still loves it, and you, whereas you seem to dislike yourself and now him too.

If you’re an unhealthy weight (depends on your height), you could try losing some. But don’t let it prey on your mind or turn you off a man who loves you as you are.

I’m also surprised by some of the replies here. I definitely know middle aged women who say things like “I’m going out with the girls later”.
All of them are definitely mature, confident and independent women.
I remember both of my grandmas referring to their friends as “girls” (used to confuse me as a child).
It also wouldn’t occur to me to get offended if my husband said something like: “Are you meeting the girls for drinks?” 🤷‍♀️

Ergh, no.
To me 'the girls' are either a bunch of cackling, shrieking, over dressed, over-made up women who love a prosecco (now that Lambrini, chardonnay and pink gin are out of fashion), or elderly women with sensible hair styles, elastic waisted slacks and walking sandals who giggle and fawn if a young man calls them 'girls'.

I go for a pint or have lunch with my mates, who are women.

(..and I know this is far too judgemental for MN so have already got my hard hat on 😂)

You are over reacting , you are a size 14-16 unless you are tall that makes you a "bigger girl" feeling sensitive about it is a you problem .

I am tall and very slim.
I have heard men refer to their much shorter and larger partners/wives as "tiny".
I think they don't see anything other than height.

Do you never have a "girls night out" or say "I'm meeting the girls for lunch"?
It's a common turn of phrase, which gives a bit of informality to an event.

My very well educated nearly 90 year old cousin who whips all our arses at Scrabble and cryptic crosswords refers to the "old girls" going to church etc.

As a grown woman, being called a 'girl' would be instant ick for me.

Oh love he's a bloke! They're a bit daft aren't they? Carry on feeling good about yourself. x

A 14 is not that different from the average women in the UK but that just means the average women in the UK is fat.

If the average Uk women is a 16 then it just means we have a nation of overweight women.

Delete this thread, it's toxic as fuck.