My husband referred to me as a “bigger girl”

Having a c-section is nothing to do with how fit you are. In all societies for most of history maternal death rates have been terrible. Its modern healthcare, including c-sections, which have saved women and babies' lives, not fitness levels.

And if you put the question to your husband the way you did here, you framed yourself to him as the 'unfit' one in your peer group, which perhaps helps explain why he answered as he did.

youve admitted youre a bigger size so why is it hard to face the truth?

the word ick should be banned

well there are at least 2 things wrong with his half sentence.

First. you are a woman not a girl. Tell him to get to fuck with that.
Second. you have been together long enough for him to be honest with you. And for you to be honest with yourself. But also for him to know that calling your wife "bigger" is not on. And he can get to fuck with that too.

I am petty, and i hold a grudge. So i would probably wait a while then start half sentences with "older men like you..." and then just drift off or stare into space.
But I'd be doing it a lot. Because i do love to drive a point home.😁

I think you are maybe being a little oversensitive, OP, though I don't think a 14 is very big. In fact it's smaller than the average size in the UK for women.

What point was he trying to make in response to the comment about c-sections?

It sounds like there is a lot more going on in your relationship. It was clumsy what he said but it doesn't sound like he meant to be mean or vindictive.

Are you happy with your body?

I think it is!

It was a one off thoughtless comment and you would be wise to treat it as such. Remind him you have lost weight, he may not even have noticed. Men are fairly useless at registering it.

Really sick of people doing this @NerdWhoEatsMedlar -

I am a “gym bunny” who plays competitive sport. I am a size 10 but I have enough “curves” to look decent in a dress

is there some possible way that we can stop belittling people who aren’t Sofia Vergara or Kelly Brook shaped, and accept that there are women who are slender and it’s attractive to some people?

the “adolescent boys” hips thing is just really mean and is often said by people who let’s face it, may not be happy with how they look but they sure as hell want you to feel worse first.

He has just stated a fact without thinking. He has stopped when he realised what he has said. I dont think you can punish someone for accidentally stating a fact. 14-16 is bigger than a 10.

I mean, it's not great but I don't think it's a LTB situation.

I too was a size 10 now size 14-16. I am a bigger woman than I was 30 years ago. I am also older, have more wrinkles, am less fit, wealthier, calmer, and have poorer eyesight and hearing.
All of the above are true and I’m not in denial about any of them. I am, however, not a girl. So this would be something that I’d pull him up on, but it wouldnt offend me.

Taken in context, this is not offensive or insulting at all, I understand that there are lots of reasons for women to need or want a cesarean birth, but narrow hips is one.
It is sad that the word 'bigger' is immediately taken to mean over weight, or too fat, and therefore an insult.
It started me thinking about other terms for overweight, in the past 'fuller figure' was used, as a child I thought 'figure' was a rude word, as my mum used it, (in a whisper) to mean developed breasts and hips!

Are we allowed to call men boys? Furious is a bit of an over reaction

What are sensible adult woman shaped hips? I have read some things on here, but that is just off the wall.

In today’s generation it isn’t….but therein lies the problem, and it’s why I’m constantly labelled a “skinny bint” by coworkers because I have the temerity to do sports every weekend.

His opinion hurt because even though it marries with yours (we know this because you started an effort to make changes and you've made headway) it still highlights that the last few years of life have made you "more" than the person you were, good for you on making changes to get back to who you want to be. Whether you understand that DH wasn't being malicious with his words, they weren't desired to cause or impart harm to you (think something like an argument, he wasnt calling you a fat b*tch or anything hateful), the comment was in general conversation that supports what you think about yourself? It's just previously been unsaid.

Unless there's more and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

My thought too. Being bigger can be a factor but it's not about being fatter. It's quite the minefield he stumbled into though. I could see past it with my DH (and at 14/16 I am aware I'm bigger than several friends) but it sounds like you and DH have (ahem) bigger issues. Try to focus on those more than this comment if you want to be constructive, or if the ick is terminal that's another conversation.

What kind of rock do you live under @Biggergirl16 to consider yourself “sedimentary”?

Hmmm....you are allowed to feel whatever you feel, but I'd have a think about what's underneath this one. Because if I was to make an observation about teeny tiny gym bunnies seeming be more likely to need C section (which is probably not even true at a population level), and somebody said 'but bigger girls don't', I absolutely would not think 'fat', but would think bigger bone structure, broader pelvis etc. None of which is a judgement call.

I think you may have over-interpreted a remark which was perhaps very mildly thoughtless but by no means a judgement on your current weight/size.

It sounds like despite your recent weight loss, you are a little lacking in self-esteem, which is why this has hurt you, but I am not sure your husband quite deserves to be punished for it.

Can you recover from it? Absolutely, it's a pretty small thing, and you can simply decide that you over-interpreted it and actually it simply wasn't meant that way.

It's a bit emperor's new clothes to pretend someone hasn't gained weight when they have. But it's a shame you didn't let him finish because I'm sure it's well known that body fat doesn't improve birth experiences so he probably meant bone size or something. Otherwise, if he did mean body fat, he was talking crap so best to just disregard the whole thing he said.

Obviously there's clearly much more going on in your relationship than just this comment.

I'm a 14 pushing 16 at the moment. I am a 'bigger girl' in comparison to my much slimmer friends. It's not something that would offend me in the same context you mention. But there is much more going on in your marriage to have you feel this way.

Couldn't get worked up about this, you have put weight on, sorry.

This is an overreaction. Getting the ick over a comment which wasn’t even meant to be hurtful, where your husband realised straight away that your feelings were hurt. Did he say that he didn’t find „bigger“ attractive? You are feeling bad about yourself but don’t project that insecurity onto him. There is nothing wrong with being „bigger“. Please try to work on your self confidence.

WalterdelaMare 14 isn’t big!