My husband referred to me as a “bigger girl”

Ignore the mansplainer who thinks everyone should speak bluntly.. that's the opposite way to be around people if you want a smooth relationship.
No-one is taking your advice mate, you picked the worst forum 😂

Absolutely. I NEED a random man to advise me. Please random man on the internet... Please keep giving your advice to us clueless women. We NEED you.

"And I know virtually nothing about my husband."

That is probably true.

Awww.....Bless you too my dear. 😍 I needed a random MAN on the internet, to tell me how to conduct my marriage of 35+ years - and my relationship with my husband. I needed guidance and advice, because I don't know how to 'do' marriage. And I know virtually nothing about my husband.

Thank God a MAN come on here and advised me.

THANK GOD! 🙏

Bless, I'm not telling you 'how to behave', rather suggesting some introspection about why one might have an catastrophic reaction to a comment. They are quite different you see.

Yay, a man has come on to tell us about marriage, “ladies”! Thank god, we can’t do it without their advice! 🙄

Rob I bet I’m older than you, and have been with DH for 36 years, so I’ve had plenty of the rough and tumble of marriage. Like most on here, I don’t need your opinion on what marriage entails and how to get through it.

Oh and despite my being a bit overweight my husband doesn’t insult me. Because he’s not a twat.

.Ooooooooooh LAYDEEEEEEEES!

A MAN HAS ARRIVED TO TELL US ALL HOW TO BEHAVE!

LISTEN UP! And LEARN! Woo hoo! 😆

Ladies, trust me, you are not going to get through the rough and tumble of married life being so oversensitive.

@RobW1 Not insulting your partner/wife is the most basic expectation.. not perfection. That was horrible what he said.

They are telling you what they think you want to hear.

The same men will be telling thin women that they don’t find bigger women attractive.

How are you coming across all these men who so freely tell you what they do and don't find attractive? Are you actively dating?

Silly boy.

I wouldnt say 14 is big. I'm a size 14 and always trying to be smaller, so always surprised by the amount of men who tell me that they don't find thin women attractive.

You ladies have perfection as standard for your husbands, methinks that is a tad unrealistic.
My wife said something similar about me tonight, a throwaway comment, but I doubt very much I will still be angsting about it in 30 years time.

My husband said something along the lines of 'you're not naturally pretty'. I can't even remember the whole conversation or context because it was over 30 years ago. That one sentence has stuck with me for our whole marriage. He has apologised every single time I bring it up, but honestly I just think they don't think before stuff comes out of their mouths.

I said earlier that I’d be more offended at being called a girl, but got swiftly put back in my box!

OP there are an unusual amount of size 8/10 on this forum so you will get a skewed view. But they are ignoring the negative connotations the word "bigger" has in relation to weight, and who wants to hear that from someone we are intimate with.

You can choose to forget his comment and carry on with what you are doing - healthy eating and weight loss. Sorry, but you started a conversation about c-sections which is the personal business of other people. See it isn't very nice to be talked about like you're a passive object. Perhaps these women would hate what you did if they knew?

People can always 'choose' to be offended. Your husband tried to backpeddal pretty quickly, so he wasn't trying to be hurtful. The issue lays with how you feel about yourself. There are millions upon millions of size 14+ women in the world who are perfectly happy with themselves and in the skin they're in. It is important for one's mental health to love yourself first.

So rather than get the ick because you are offended about reality or how people perceive you, look inwards and do something positive about it and work towards reaching your happy place, whatever that may be. This could be therapy, or it could mean diet and exercise.

Society places far to much negativity on image and society/media plays a big part here in your reaction.

Good luck OP, I wish you the very best!

Same, was described as ‘Bonny’ as a child and never liked that expression since! Good thing as a tall/broad lass I carry weight quite well and when I loose weight it’s noticeable sooner so swings & roundabouts

I wouldn’t like to be referred to as a ‘girl’ as it’s patronising, but apart from that, what he said was in context to what you were discussing and topic you brought up.

You are bigger than the friends you were discussing and you were comparing yourself to them regarding childbirth outcomes. He didn’t call you fat and wasn’t being nasty in his tone.

Hopefully you’ve been able to move past it now, try to build up your self esteem. He may not have noticed your weight loss he seems happy with you regardless anyway from your PP.

I totally get why you’re upset, but I don’t think he’s done wrong, he’s just spoken before his brain has kicked in.

I agree HelmhelzWatson.
I recall Margot in The Good Life saying something like ..."men aren't usually sensitive to weight watching". I think that they pay far less attention to it than women.

Okay it was tactless, but by your own admission you are "bigger" and there is no way of hearing this from someone else that is going to sound palatable.

He probably feels really bad about his comment. If you have a problem with it, sit him down and explain how his comment made you feel and then lose some weight.

This wouldn't bother me.
Back in the day I was very slender and waist trained to wear a 20" corset fully closed. Now I am very definitely chubby.
My husband and I aren't the sleek little things we used to be 24 years ago. I'd never be offended by him honestly describing me as plump or chubby, or big. We both are now. It's just an accurate description. Not an insult.