My husband referred to me as a “bigger girl”

I think you introduced the comparison by referring to some of your friends as "super fit/gym goers", the inference being that you are not this. If you are bigger than them, and this is what you were getting at, then YABU - your husband was merely running with you. In any case, this wasn't an insult. It sounds as though you are bigger, and your struggle with that is yours to own. Your husband has not tried to hurt your feelings and nothing here suggests he has any problem with your size.

I think the fact he stopped in the middle of what he was saying shows he saw your reaction and cared how you felt

With your sedimentary job it sounds like your have piled on the layers sadly. I hope your husband's words haven't rocked you too much.

I'm 5 feet and half an inch tall, size 8, 37 inch hips

37 inch hips are not a size 8. I have 38" hips and am in at least a 12.

From what I've seen, it's more flexible woman who have easier births. I think it's also the gap in the centre of the pelvis that's important rather than the actual width. My SIL had fairly easy births and she looked like a child from behind. I'm 5 feet and half an inch tall, size 8, 37 inch hips and just about managed a VB with a lot of assistance the first time! Three hours of pushing, haemorrhage and huge amounts of swelling second time around, followed by an infection. A C section would probably have been easier.

If the average is size 16 then if you're around a size 16 then you are somewhere in the middle, below that and you're a smaller person and above that you're a larger person - that's how I would see it.

My BMI is 27.5, I'm 5'7" and I'm a 12-14 I have no trouble fitting in seats, leg room, spilling onto anyone else's seat, buying clothes - it's all good. I'm usually one of the slimmer people- other than that my legs and arms are strongly built and muscular which is more unusual. But I don't think anyone would call me a "big girl" unless I was this build in the 1950s, or if I were somewhere in sub-Saharan Africa or the Far East.

I would say I'm fairly tall and a muscular athletic build. Partly from going to the gym but partly genetic. Even when I got down to BMI 19 at one point in my 20s, trying to have the gazelle legs that were fashionable at the time, my legs were still solid and muscular. So unless I get a muscle wasting disease that's how I am and I accept and like my strong limbs now.

That’s rude! I am slim and have never been blessed with curves, hurtful to think I resemble an adolescent boy! Not sure what to do with that commemt now 😪

You’ve said you know you are overweight. It doesn’t sound like he was being nasty, just a slip of the tongue. At least he didn’t say ‘fat’. There’s not a much nicer way I could describe someone who is overweight (I’m not skinny either btw). I know it must be hurtful but you are hearing what you already know. Don’t be too hard on him

Sorry I haven’t rtft as so long but I don’t see why you’ve assumed that bigger means fatter here - I can’t see why being fat would make you better suited to childbirth (surely the opposite if anything?).

Fwiw I am slim (when not pregnant) and have narrow hips but had really fast easy labours with huge babies. People (not DH thank god) have made comments before about how it is even possible and suggested that I have a massive vagina which is much worse!!! Probably just jealous…I’ll take my easy deliveries and big Fanny 🤣🤣🤣

I think you mean 'flagging' not 'fledging'. I think sparrows fledge.

You've overreacted. Objectively speaking, at a size 14-16 you are bigger than the gym bunnies you described. You know this and he knows this.

He made a statement of fact and you overlayed it with negative connotations that reflect your opinion of your size. He didn’t say being bigger was a bad thing. It actually sounds as if he was heading towards it being a positive attribute.

I'll stick with my "ridiculous" hips, my size 8 figure and my BMI of 20, thank you very much.

Can I have it please? 😁(Just for a week in the Spring, and a fortnight next summer. I promise I'll give it back.) 😆

There’s always exceptions but the average person who is a size 14 would be classed as overweight or obese.

A size 16 by pretty much all standards is a bigger woman though isn’t it? Not necessarily “fat” depending on how you carry your weight but bigger yes.

What’s your BMI? Because that’s what I’ll be looking for as ‘scientifically’ whether you are overweight…

I am a size 14. Recently lost 1 and 1/2 stone. My DD decided to call me short and fat in a Spanish piece she was writing at school. It hurt but it's the truth so I have to own it really,

Why is it upsetting and hurtful? She is likely outside of the healthy BMI range and, if the average height for a woman will be “bigger”.

In this case the comparison was too her smaller friends hence “bigger is correct”.

If she was 6ft and he referred to her as a “taller woman” would that be equally “upsetting and hurtful”? Calling somebody “big(ger)” is a value neutral form of describing somebody.

i was a 14 now a 12, id still say im a bigger girl ..

The OP is probably not obese- I was at very short and size 16 (not 14).

Being very obese is associated with higher risk of needing a C-Section and also it's harder to site an epidural, so there is an association with weight and method of delivery, but not always in the direction you think. It does also make a difference how big the baby is which method is easier, and that is affected e.g. by gestational diabetes, and if the father is larger (height, not sure about weight).

It's not true to say weight isn't related to how you can give birth, but it's not a simple relationship.

He may think you’re fat and not like it, but that’s not what came across to me from the conversation you described.

I think your reaction may say more about your own view of your body and/or how attractive you are (esp. to your DH) than it does about his view of you.

Your post is very odd tbh , there’s too much to unpack here…

I'm normal weight at size 14.

I don't think you know what 'scientific' means.

It's very easy to spot the posters on this thread who are overweight.

First of all, 14-16 isn’t really what I’d describe as a ‘bigger girl’.
I do agree with others that by bigger he didn’t necessarily mean ‘fatter’ in a bad way.
It was rather clumsily put though, especially when you’ve lost weight recently and probably already feeling a bit sensitive . If this was an isolated silly comment, and doesn’t have a habit of putting you down, I’d let it go.

Is it necessary to insult other peoples sizes? There is nothing wrong with being a smaller size.
TBH I think you overreacted. I am a size 14-16 and occasionally DH jokes about how all of our family is on the plump side (including the dog ). We do lots of exercise though.

I could take umbrage but like your DH, he's just stating a fact.