My husband referred to me as a “bigger girl”

I think the term 'bigger' is really not offensive as compared to a 'big person'. A size 14-16 IS bigger than an 8-10 / 10-12 as an example.

Also, agree with all PPs re. narrow hips. Not every woman has child-bearing bottoms i.e., the ability to push a baby out naturally so your comment (on "there seems to be a lot of csections, particularly amongst friends who would probably describe themselves as super fit/gym goers etc and that I found it odd that I was the only one who hasn’t had one.") was slightly uncalled for IMO.

But if you are a bigger girl, then you are one. It seems as though you've got misplaced anger and insecuritiea surrounding your weight, and you're directing that hurt at your husband. Being bigger is not a bad thing. It is what it is. Either do something about it if you want to lose some, or stay as you are.

OP I asked my DH if he thought my new lipstick suited me (he has a REALLY good eye for colour) and he said it looked “plain”. Fucking PLAIN! When I laughed and asked what he meant, turns out he thought it was a “nice and simple” colour. Which is exactly the MLBB colour I was going for.

Men don’t always understand the nuances women put on words - or sensitivities - when it comes to our appearances.

I didn't start this stupid conversation.

Hi OP, I’m sorry you’re feeling upset. I don’t think for a moment your husband meant offence, my advice is to let this go.
If you’re feeling a little sensitive about your weight or shape, keep focused on that goal of feeling good about yourself. Do it for yourself.

I found exercise in my 40s and it changed my life in so many positive ways x

good for you, I suppose…

10.5 stone at 5' 7" isn't tiny by any metric. It's not even that slim. I'm 9 stone 10ish at 5' 8" and not super-slender.

I was 7 stone 10 for years, until about 30, 8 stone 7 after children, now 9 10, I could definitely drop a stone without looking the mythical MN 'gaunt'.

I have a very healthy relationship with food. Always have.

By your own admission, you've gone from a size 10 to a size 16, so you are a bigger person now. It doesn't sound like your husband was being malicious or cruel, he's just stating a fact, and you've taken offence and overreacted.

That's objectively untrue. For the interests of the thread I've just measured my hips, 33", I imagine they were 31" when I gave birth for the first time 18 years ago. (In my early 30s).

Without issue.

I had two vaginal births with no intervention. Popped out both times.

I think where @Biggergirl16 has come unstuck is her 'wondering' about associates C sections.

Who does that? Who pontificates about other women's births unless they're feeling self-satisfied?

Size 16 might be 'average' numerically. But it's not the 'average' size of a healthy woman. I'd say a size 10 would be the 'average' size of a healthy woman. A size 16 would be overweight for the vast majority of women.

I think he was referring to the fact that I was an average sized woman rather than a teeny waif. Of course it was silly to say, as outward appearances wouldn’t necessarily be relevant.

Yes! You told him it hurt your feelings so I don't think he'll say that again. Men don't really get that for all some women "big" equals ugly whereas it can be said with appreciation and love. I know one husband who was miffed that his wife lost weight because he loved her body before weight loss and found her less attractive afterwards. But he wasn't an ass about it, she asked him to be honest so he was. Just saying that we all have different preferences, I find a slight overweight man more attractive than a skinny one for ex so I'm lucky with my DH😅

I wouldn't be offended to be called bigger than someone who is short and a size 6-8, as clearly I am bigger than them. I would be offended if someone thinks I'm not fit or couldn't possibly go to the gym and be a size 14 or is generally "big" in the grand scheme of things at that size. I'd think they need their eyes testing.

Yes, sure. I have a smallish back which means a 12 fits better than a 14 in some shops even when I seem to be the 14 measurement.

I tend to try and shop in places that are true to the advertise measurements. I ordered from one place which said the a size 12 was 36.5" chest- so I also ordered a 14 as I know my chest is more 37" or 38" and the 14 did indeed fit and the 12 was a bit tight in the bust.

But also between say, a 10 and a 14, there are only a couple of inches circumference of difference, and it does differ between shops.

Yet people often get so het up on her about size 14 women being "massive" or "larger" and taking up more space. So I take up a couple more inches of space? Get over it, seriously. I'm not going to be spilling into your seat, or taking your arm rest or taking up space with my massive shoulders like large men do. A lot of it seems to be internalised misogyny.

I agree with this, he was being completely factual. I say that as someone who’s a size 14 at the moment, at 5’8, I’d be an absolute fool to get affronted at being described as a bigger girl when in comparison to size 6-8 gym bunnies, because I am. You started that conversation, it’s really no wonder he thought he could speak relatively freely. You’re also the one who attributed negativity to that statement, it was pretty neutral!

Oh another one. There was a woman (a neighbour of my parents) who said several times to my parents that it's a shame I've gone fat as I was a pretty girl. (WAS!)

I had had 2 children, (still baby and toddler age at the time) and whilst I was a bit overweight, I was only 10 stone 10 (at 5 ft 4-ish.) I was a stone and a quarter lighter before I had babies, but was clearly a fucking obese monster now.

.

This is why dress size cannot be an indication. I have 37” hips and fit 8-10 in clothes. I checked the size chart for one of my regular shops and it states 36” for a size 8 and 37” for a 10. And according to the chart, for my waist size I should be a 12. But a 12 would drown me, as I have a small build.

FGS, no wonder so many women have eating disorders when a doctor comes out with fucking bollocks like this. Suggesting you were a strapping girl - aka FAT - at 9 stone, and 5 ft 4.

My niece was told by a nurse once that is a pretty girl, but would be soooo much prettier if she lost some weight. She was 10 and a half stone and is 5 ft 7. Like fucking arseholes was she fucking fat. Cheeky bint.

Sounds like some posters on here and their 'we've lost sight of what a healthy weight is' wankery. 🙄

One might be obese, but if they are short, I'd think of them as a short fat person not necessarily a "big girl".

Haha! You're welcome to borrow it, but the disclaimer is that it comes with built-in brittle bones* and a 49-year-old face.

*Not caused by an eating disorder.

Igneous or metamorphic?🪨

A size 16 woman who is 5ft is not comparable to a size 16 woman who is 5ft 10.

The word 'average' is very misleading in this.

One would be very obese, one might not be.

Understanding of dress size is so poor it never fails to amaze me.

😁

Awww, but he was just being HONEST!, just telling the TRUTH, and the OP is clearly very obese at a size 14. Every woman just loves being told - especially by their husband - that they're a tubby twat. I love nothing more than my husband criticizing my body and my weight, and picking flaws with my hair and make up, and the fact my boobs no longer stand up on their own now I'm nearly 60, and that I have a few wrinkles and a few sprinkles of grey coming through in my hair...

I don't know it myself you see. I'm too stupid to know myself that I am starting to look older and a bit overweight. I definitely didn't know I had put weight on since I was in my mid 20s, or that I looked any different. I could have sworn I still looked 26, and still had a 23 inch waist. I'm so glad I have him to tell me.

.

I think if you are no longer attracted to him that's different