Friend can never be happy for my child

It's not just about the trip is it though?

That's not what your OP is about.

Honestly, stop making your own happiness dependent on the actions of others. She doesn't owe you anything.

You're not making it sound any better!
Stop looking for likes from people.

The woman isn't obliged to say anything. You and your child obviously don't feature too highly on her radar and that's fine, it doesnt mean she's jealous or anything more to it. Yet you are so wound up about no acknowledgment from her.

But the rest of it remains. Why do you feel the need to be validated by this friend? It's frankly bizarre.

You clearly have an exceptional child just enjoy it. Don't focus on other people.

Jeez you are making yourself look even worse now

Why do I get the impression that both the OP and the other mother are a bit "much" about their kids?

The OP's "friend" sounds annoying. But I also can't imagine keeping tabs on whether someone has complimented my child or not.

I'd quietly eyeroll if my child's school was constantly highlighting the sporting achievements of one of the pupils, TBH.

I have no idea why you are so desperate for this woman to validate your child.

You know she's doing well, that should be enough.

You've said that you've also told your friend you child is being picked (above her child) for school events. Your friend probably thinks your insufferably competitive.

I have had a child compete at national events in sport, I've also currently got a teen who is rising through the ranks in her sport. I don't need any friend's validation to be proud of them. There are parents who do though and genuinely I feel sorry for the kids because the pressure is on them not to disappoint their parents, I'm not saying you are doing this but you appear to be setting way too much store on validation.

Some people just really do struggle to be generous in nature and it sounds like she is that kind of person.

I would just let it go, it’s more sad for her that she can’t be happy for someone else’s child.

Children who succeed to a high level in hobbies deserve to be lauded. All children are special and of equal worth but we shouldn’t shy away from congratulating achievement born out of hard work.

And I say this as a deeply average person with zero achievements of note 😁

Yes it sounds like OP is doing that too. She wants the and comments. Her daughter probably isn't aware of it. But OP clearly has turned it into an issue that the other woman won't praise her.

because this woman is meant to be a close, long-standing friend?

Nah! I don't care what the OP claims, I'm not having it! 🤣🤣

Frienemy more like and stiff competition.

Of course it’s odd.

This woman is your friend…friends celebrate and commiserate the wins and the losses of each other and by extension, their children.

I cant conceive of sitting beside a friend as their child sings a solo and making no comment about it whatsoever.

Shes clearly very jealous of your child’s achievements.

because this woman is meant to be a close, long-standing friend? Would you not congratulate one of your oldest friends' kids if they achieved something and you saw them soon after? Would you not say, "well done, that was so good!" to any parent of a soloist you were sitting next to at a school concert, let alone if they were your old friend?!

It is weird if a close friend has never said anything nice, ever. Especially in first instances. I agree she is probably annoyed by your DD and watching others ‘fawn/congratulate’ your SD and not hers even if it’s outwith your control. I’d ignore and minimise interaction with her unless she truly adds positivity to your life. I’d bet money she’d have something to say if your DD messed up on a national scale (like bombing out of the olympics etc) or even be gleeful about it.

Why do you need her to acknowledge and compliment your child? Why does it bother you so much that she hasn't?

Doesn't sound like she's the one with a problem.

Yes I was and I know that but she doesn't need to, does she?

You want this mother to 'recognise' your child's achievements (note, they're not YOUR achievements) because deep down you feel the other child is more gifted.

And receiving that 'recognition' would make you feel she saw your child as worthy competition, as to who's the most gifted child in the year group.

As I said previously, my DC are adults now and this sort of transparent 'one-upmanship' went on all the time.

The other parents viewed it as pathetic and the kids were embarrassed about it.

Again, so why do you need a woman you clearly resent to acknowledge you? It’s clearly your daughter is acknowledged by her school and her friends. Why is this all about you?

OP has explained that she would expect some praise as this woman is a long-term friend who has known DD since birth. Nothing unusual or weird about that! I got a promotion at my (very normal, not high-achieving) job recently, and my friends sent me a bunch of flowers to say congrats. Because you know, friends are usually happy for each others' successes? Our kids are all still very young but I know we'd all be praising each others' kids to the hilt if they achieved something in an olympic sport.

OP, this woman simply isn't a friend, I'm afraid. I think you're getting upset because you're expecting her to act like one, but she's going to keep disappointing you, as she clearly doesn't care about your family. She just liked having you around as someone to boast to and someone to compare herself with. Sorry to be blunt, but there it is.

If you otherwise enjoy her company then keep seeing her in a group setting but just slowly fade her out of 1-to-1 stuff. She's not a real friend, so please don't keep beating yourself up by expecting her to act like one.

Honestly just let her get on with ignoring you. You don’t need her validation. If she’s jealous/stewing/disinterested/forgetful whatever, just let her be so. It’s fine. DD is still thriving.

Why is it petty. You have lots of people saying congratulations. Is that not enough. It's like fb I rarely comment because people just want more. Who has time for that? It's like obsessing when someone doesn't happy birthday on FB. No one really cares they just do it because every one else does it. The same goes for WhatsApp school posts, no one really cares but post anyway which I why avoid it like the plague.

@YabbaDabbaDooooo
Yes, I think you could be right.
This much desire to be acknowledged, and by a specific person, doesn't scream confidence.