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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Eating out with kids

86 replies

wantnoscrubs · 08/12/2024 20:56

Whenever we get together as a family at a restaurant, my sister insists on spreading her four kids around the dinner table. Her theory is that it's not fun or fair for them to be shoved on the end and this way all the adults share the load of entertaining them,. This was the case as our aunts 70th birthday meal recently and I just cringed as there were no family members there. No one ever says anything and it's so awkward. We have a family wedding coming up and will be eating together with the bride and groom on the run up to the wedding and I just dread the moment they all spread around the table. They are very lively and chatty kids and won't just sit there quietly. They are aged between 5-8 - AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
wantnoscrubs · 08/12/2024 21:08

Narkacist · 08/12/2024 21:06

We don’t do a kids table/end of the table in our family, they chat politely with their older relatives and with family friends etc. For those they don’t see frequently it’s a good opportunity for them to get to know each other.

Really interesting to see a mix of opinions!

What about at a restaurant with non-immediate family members or friends? Not just close family

OP posts:
Ggmores · 08/12/2024 21:08

Family dinner? Yes, lovely, they get to interact with adults and I hope all will have a lovely time as that’s what going out for an extended family meal is about. Wedding? No. It’s about what the bride and groom want, it’s their day and although it’s lovely they are inviting children (I wouldn’t and I have them), they don’t need extended family children pestering them to read a story or play a game when they’ve had the stress of planning the whole day and just want to relax (hopefully).

Narkacist · 08/12/2024 21:06

We don’t do a kids table/end of the table in our family, they chat politely with their older relatives and with family friends etc. For those they don’t see frequently it’s a good opportunity for them to get to know each other.

lightsandtunnels · 08/12/2024 21:05

Part of me always hates to see children sat at a different table and left to fend for themselves. It's like they're 2nd class citizens or something or that they are not important enough to sit with the rest of the group or family. I would make sure the children each have a little bag filled with colourings, stickers, books and things that will entertain them. A adults around the table can engage with them through this and also chat to other adults as the children spend time with their activity. Your post makes me feel that you think they are an inconvenience which is a bit sad!

Original poster
wantnoscrubs · 08/12/2024 21:03

SmalllChange · 08/12/2024 20:58

Yes YABU as you haven't said they're badly behaved?

They aren't badly behaved to be fair! But they are very chatty and engaged so no chance of adult conversation

OP posts:
Original poster
wantnoscrubs · 08/12/2024 21:02

Yes sometimes adults they know, and sometimes ones they don't know very well.

OP posts:
murasaki · 08/12/2024 21:02

Her kids, her job to supervise. She's a lazy mare.

Bex5490 · 08/12/2024 21:01

To clarify - she sits them in between adults they don’t really know who she expects to entertain them?

Caroparo52 · 08/12/2024 21:01

Sounds awful. Basically your DS wants to offload of responsibility of supervising her Dc onto everyone else. Why should you?
Words are needed or outsmart her with prearranged placenames as you choose

Original poster
wantnoscrubs · 08/12/2024 21:01

'Non family members there' it should say

OP posts:
SmalllChange · 08/12/2024 20:58

Yes YABU as you haven't said they're badly behaved?