Eating out with kids

Wow how entitled are you!! What makes you think you have a right to expect someone else to have to sit there and entertain your children while you get to enjoy adult company? Im a parent and would never have expected this and would also refuse to be expected to do it with other people's kids! No one ( not even relatives) find your kids as interesting as you do!

Yep same!

I take it the relatives don't want to sit next to them, especially if they need help etc, if they're not patting the seats and saying come sit next to grandma/ auntie are they?

I actually think it's a really good idea!

I went ro a family meal with my 2 sons recently at a restaurant, ds5 and ds7. We were coming from far and ended up being late...I would usually sit the boys next to me but when we got there there were t seats together left so we all just slotted in where we could.

They were well behaved...ds7 ordered food I wouldn't usually have ordered him because was able to peruse the menu more freely and see what other adults had conu g out (he ate all)
And it was nice to watch them from a far cracking jokes and chatting with family members and not needing me at all. No1 seemed to mind

I've seen parents dump their relatively young children at the end of the table (4 year olds) and leave them to make to small talk with whoever is next to them - so I would assume your sister is offloading her kids so she can have a nice meal! Which is ultimately selfish.

Surely the answer is just to be weird enough that the kids go back to sit with their mum? (I find this comes very naturally to me for some reason)

Wouldn't bother me at all. Would much rather sit next to a chatty 5 year old that one glued to an iPad unable to make conversation. Would much rather see my sister with her children than not see her.

Would you rather she didn't come? Or do you just not want to sit with your nieces and nephews?

Yeah give me a 6 year old over a 16-26 year old with trauma, inability to make eye contact etc any day 😆

I think it's quite a nice idea, but maybe a compromise would be that the children sit in pairs amongst the adults so they can talk to each for some of the time and adults the rest.

I'm sadly childless, I'd quite enjoy sitting next to a child who wanted to chat to me!

I think it’s fine. I would prefer to be next to a chatty, entertaining kid than an adult riddled with social anxiety, waiting for me to fill in all the pauses and bring up topics I couldn’t care less about. I would choose the chatty kid everytime.

Sitting next to a child is hardly parenting them 🤣

Christ there's some outrageous entitlement in some of the comments here.

I'm nobodies babysitter and like fuck am I going to entertain and look after a family members child at a birthday dinner or similar because their parents can't be arsed or feel entitled to adult conversation. If you choose to have children you have to accept that you'll probably have to compromise a fair bit on what you can do and how you can do it.

It's rude as fuck to just expect other people to be happy to parent your children for you.

Nothing wrong with inter generational interaction, which is actually very beneficial for the whole society.never like when kids are treated as a different,unbearable class of people. They get to chat with older people and learn from them about having conversations,and older adults might gain some fun conversations as well.
If it doesn't affect you leave it,if someone else isn't keen it's up to them to say something. But I suspect it's more in your head. Adults won't die if they miss a few minutes of conversation with other adults which they have all the time anyway.

How often does this happen? Weekly? Monthly? 3 times a year?

Do other family members care?

It would annoy me having to spend a meal out having to sit and chat to a child that wasn’t mine or I wasn’t related all the way through. that my personal opinion as I am not really interested in other people kids.

OP could you say to your DSis you really want to catch up with uncle Graham and nanny Janny so will be sitting with them. Your DSis can’t be in charge of where everyone sits, she isn’t hosting and paying.

I think it's cheeky expecting other people to entertain/chat to your children when they're having a meal! Not everyone likes or is comfortable with small children. I always sat my children with me - it's my job to keep an eye on them, no-one else's!

If it’s all family it’s a good idea. Children are humans too, don’t need to sit on a special table at the end like a different species.

with non family members I can see how this is harder as the adult doesn’t know the child etc but granny or auntie should be able to talk to their child relative easily

All the adults share the load of entertaining them

This part went right through me, how entitled of their mum to think that other adults want to entertain their kids. Also I don’t get why she thinks it isn’t “fair or fun” for the kids to all be together. Surely they would much prefer to all be together.

As a parent you assume that aunts, uncles and grandparents love your children and want to spend time with them, what's she's doing here is perfectly normal and far preferable than sitting them at the end of the table disengaged and with their devices.

With friends it's a little different, especially if said friends don't have kids of their own. In this case I wouldn't be thrilled because I'm far less interested in spending time with friends children than I am with my nieces and nephews.

I’m with your SIL - I have 3 DC and DH and I always get sat at the end of the table with them (or even worse, on a separate table) for big family meals out. We don’t get to speak with anyone else and essentially pay over the odds to have a lunch out with our own kids. I really resent it tbh.

Our DC are perfectly well behaved and chatty.