I need some outside perspective on my finance situation with my partner.
I earn around 3x his NMW salary, I also own my home outright. We’ve been together 3.5 years, he moved in with me 2 years ago. He pays £300pm towards utilities and food.
We tend to take it in turns to pay for meals out. We go on a lot of holidays, which I end up paying about 80% of the associated costs.
He’s a nice, kind and loving man and generally I’m happy in the relationship, but I’ve started thinking about our set-up and feel resentful that he’s benefitting from my hard work- his monthly outgoings are low because we’re fortunate to not have mortgage or rent costs because I worked my butt off to progress in my career and saved a lot of my salary to pay my mortgage off early. Also he gets to go on amazing holidays at little expense to himself, because the holidays are mostly paid for by me. He could earn more than NMW, but he doesn’t want to progress, he says he ‘works to live’ - this attitude frustrates me.
I don’t think he would intentionally take advantage of me financially (he’s a very simple guy, kind and not disingenuous in any way), but I feel like he’s taking me for granted and maybe some changes are needed, ideas for what would be great.
I suppose I’d feel differently if he showed more appreciation, such as treating me to a night away occasionally or a nice meal out (other than the regular meals twice per month, where we take turns in paying)
My AIBU is;
IABU - yes, he’s benefitting from me financially, but that’s normal in relationships where there’s a big difference in earnings, at least he’s a kind and loving partner.
IANBU - he’s taking me for granted. If you vote this, what would you recommend I do differently? (Not paying so much towards the holidays, may mean less holidays, which I wouldn’t want to happen).