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AIBU?

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Original poster

Colleague said I look like I’m pregnant

113 replies

MyLemonKoala · 08/12/2024 18:52

AIBU to be upset by this?

At work today one of my colleagues who I’m not close with came and RUBBED my belly and said ‘wow, you look like you have a second one in there’

My DS is 2, I’m single and everyone is aware of the fact that I have accepted I won’t be having anymore children as I’m happy single after an awful abusive relationship.

I told her this was rude and she said ‘I’m sorry you’re so sensitive’.

I’m aware I have put on some weight in the last year as my appearance is the last thing on my mind right now due to simply being in survival mode after a lucky escape from ex. But that’s no one’s place to tell me!

Im still upset by this comment!

OP posts:
Iwanttoliveonamountain · 08/12/2024 19:56

The idea of someone touching my belly is making my skin crawl. Your action was perfect, but tell HR.

Oodydoody · 08/12/2024 19:49

That is absolutely shocking.
Definitely report it and the names of those who witnessed it and rallied round you to support.

That is really unacceptable.
You are not sensitive, that is wholly unacceptable.
To touch you, insult you, and then gaslight you for telling her she was rude.

You sound like an amazing woman to have come through all of that.

Please report her.
You do not have to tolerate such verbal abuse.

In your place I think I would be telling HR you don't feel very safe around her.

What the hell is she doing touching you?

DeepRoseFish · 08/12/2024 19:49

I wish I’d have reported her to HR!

DeepRoseFish · 08/12/2024 19:47

This happened to me! Some people are just thoughtless arseholes

Ohnobackagain · 08/12/2024 19:37

@MyLemonKoala she’s bang out of order.

Nothatgingerpirate · 08/12/2024 19:36

Well, the important thing for the moment is you and your child are safe.
And as they say where I come from, there is a big pot of boiling water for every swine, somewhere.
😉

Bluebellyhedge · 08/12/2024 19:32

Definitely tell HR. That's awful. I hope you are ok OP. You sound like you have fought a tough battle and are doing well for yourself and dc.
Idiots like this just try to put people down. Touching you is unacceptable.

DoYouReally · 08/12/2024 19:27

She's unbelievable rude and a HR red flag.

Firstly, she touched you uninvited.
Secondly, she commented on your body.
Thirdly, her "apology" was a further insult.

She obviously has something wrong with her that she needs to put you down in order to make herself feel better. It's far more a reflection on her, than you.

Ohshutupalan · 08/12/2024 19:15

You aren't silly at all. She was a nasty mean bitch who got pleasure out of making you feel bad about yourself. Sounds like you have had it rough, any decent person would not add to this. Report!

FoxtonFoxton · 08/12/2024 19:15

At least everyone else backed you up. What on earth would possess her to do such a thing?! The faux apology is the worst be for me -and ironic seeing as she called YOU sensitive but is now walking around sulking and miserable over being told she's wrong.

Topseyt123 · 08/12/2024 19:14

She's an arse. Yes, you must report her.

It makes no difference that she is middle aged. She shouldn't have been touching you and she had no right to make those comments.

LemonViewer · 08/12/2024 19:13

I would report this to HR, she shouldn't be commenting on your body, or touching you, or calling you sensitive.

And just to add this has happened to me recently. My eldest is 7 and youngest 2.5. Still have a little pouch, what can I do. Got asked at the airport if I was pregnant recently by airport staff. I think they were just trying to seat us but it's not ever a nice feeling. I have had 3 losses before my youngest, and won't ever try again so it's a big triggering. People should not comment on other people's bodies. Your body grew a beautiful little human being! It's sounds like you've been through a lot and are doing great! Don't listen to this colleague it's not appropriate behaviour at all.

Original poster
MyLemonKoala · 08/12/2024 19:10

Itiswhysofew · 08/12/2024 19:06

Is she generally obnoxious and behave inappropriately?

Flowers

No!!!

had nothing like this before from her!

OP posts:
Shitlord · 08/12/2024 19:10

Yeah report. It was spiteful.She didn't mistake you for being pregnant (ask how far gone for instance), she said you looked pregnant. And touched your midriff. Fuck her. Not cool.

If an honest mistake followed by an apology, that's ok (although I'm a big believer in not commenting unless you can see the head unless taking a medical history).

Original poster
MyLemonKoala · 08/12/2024 19:09

Thankyou everyone. I am usually thick skinned and confident but this one stung and I felt a bit silly to have let it upset me so much.

I will eventually lose the weight but I lived in temp accommodation with 1 x communal microwave for 7 months this year so of course, the convenience food caught up with me, which makes it even more offensive as it is obviously a touchy subject for me!

OP posts:
DemonicCaveMaggot · 08/12/2024 19:08

'I'm sorry you're so sensitive' is the epitome of non-apologies.

'Better a fat belly than a fat head' would probably not have improved the situation but I'd have been tempted to say it.

I've had a few people congratulate me on a non-existent pregnancy and when I blandly reply 'I'm just fat' they have the grace to look appalled at the gaffe. Your colleague doesn't even have the excuse of meaning well, she flat out wanted to tell you that she thinks you are fat.

And before people start with the advice, I have already started a regime of core strengthening exercises to get rid of my flab.

Rosscameasdoody · 08/12/2024 19:06

MyLemonKoala · 08/12/2024 18:58

I did think about this but wasn’t sure if I was indeed being ‘too sensitive’. I think I will.

thank you x

Show quote history

She shouldn’t be touching you for a start. And when you told her you found her attitude offensive she told you you shouldn’t be so sensitive. You need to report this to HR. She’s an arsehole and asking to be sacked.

Itiswhysofew · 08/12/2024 19:06

Is she generally obnoxious and behave inappropriately?

Flowers
Wavescrashingonthebeach · 08/12/2024 19:05

Straight to HR. This is wrong on so many levels.

bluedomino · 08/12/2024 19:05

What a nasty cow. What did she hope to achieve by saying this. Is she intimidated by you? Is it an attempt to hurt you or shame you in front of others? Just imagine being the kind of person who says things like that, what a sad, viciously jealous person to say things like that. Feel sorry for her as no happy person would ever speak like that. Report as its bullying and then be glad you are not like her.

healthybychristmas · 08/12/2024 19:05

What a fucking bitch. I agree with the others, you should report her.

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/12/2024 19:03

MJMJMJMJ · 08/12/2024 18:55

Report her and she should not be touching you either.

Absolutely report this to HR.

SmalllChange · 08/12/2024 19:03

Definitely complain to HR.

And don't let them brush you off either.

ProssecoSparkle · 08/12/2024 19:03

So sorry op 😢 she's so vile definitely put a complaint in about her.

ShaunaSadeki · 08/12/2024 19:01

She is an arsehole