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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague said I look like I’m pregnant

113 replies

MyLemonKoala · 08/12/2024 18:52

AIBU to be upset by this?

At work today one of my colleagues who I’m not close with came and RUBBED my belly and said ‘wow, you look like you have a second one in there’

My DS is 2, I’m single and everyone is aware of the fact that I have accepted I won’t be having anymore children as I’m happy single after an awful abusive relationship.

I told her this was rude and she said ‘I’m sorry you’re so sensitive’.

I’m aware I have put on some weight in the last year as my appearance is the last thing on my mind right now due to simply being in survival mode after a lucky escape from ex. But that’s no one’s place to tell me!

Im still upset by this comment!

OP posts:
SabreIsMyFave · 10/12/2024 16:29

Gosh how fucking rude. I like the 'No I'm not pregnant, are YOU?' response.

Do that next time @MyLemonKoala Sorry you had to go through this. Flowers

teatoast8 · 10/12/2024 16:26

Yes definitely report. What a bitch x

Hollyhollyberry · 10/12/2024 16:22

Im blunt and take the mick with people, sometimes close the the line but never in a million years would I say this to someone. It’s down right nasty and horrible.

Littlemisscapable · 10/12/2024 16:16

Awful and surely no one is stupid enough to do this ? So was it deliberate?

Pherian · 10/12/2024 16:10

Discuss your upset with your HR department.

GreatGardenstuff · 10/12/2024 16:02

Your colleague is a cowbag. Avoid.

FagsMagsandBags · 08/12/2024 22:24

That is, not to put too fine a point on it and apologies for language ahead, truly cunty behaviour. I'd report her because it was unnecessary, unkind and she bloody touched you as well! I'm sorry that this sad excuse for a human being decided to turn her nasty character on you.

Noseybookworm · 08/12/2024 22:14

God what a rude bitch! I'd definitely report her to her manager, I would imagine she will be disciplined for that!

Skyrainlight · 08/12/2024 21:30

getthosetitsup · 08/12/2024 21:16

Similar happened to me years ago. A middle aged colleague - who I didn't even know that well - came up to me (thankfully no rubbing because... just no) and said oooh you can't lie to me, you're expecting again aren't you?

I laughed it off while she continued to insist I wasn't fooling her for ages. When I went back to my desk and told my friend, she said "how bloody rude, I hope you said 'no, are you?'". I kinda wished I had. I

That's a brilliant come back!

VacuumPacked · 08/12/2024 21:23

Dignity at Work - look this up OP - all employees should be
free from harassment, bullying, intimidation, discrimination -

Chipsandcheeseandgravy · 08/12/2024 21:21

She sounds awful! What a nasty cow. Definitely report it. It wasn't a clumsy comment, she was deliberately being horrible.
Hope you're ok

getthosetitsup · 08/12/2024 21:16

Similar happened to me years ago. A middle aged colleague - who I didn't even know that well - came up to me (thankfully no rubbing because... just no) and said oooh you can't lie to me, you're expecting again aren't you?

I laughed it off while she continued to insist I wasn't fooling her for ages. When I went back to my desk and told my friend, she said "how bloody rude, I hope you said 'no, are you?'". I kinda wished I had. I

Powderpuff6 · 08/12/2024 21:09

I would be surprised if this was just a clumsy comment. Sounds thought out and spiteful to me. Likely this person is jealous of you in some way OP.

Tess150 · 08/12/2024 21:04

'I'm sorry you're so sensitive' - wow that is some shitty comeback. Most people would be mortified that they'd offended you, but not this cow - she'll just make out you're the one with the problem.

Powderpuff6 · 08/12/2024 20:40

You can lose weight. She will always be an arsehole.

But definitely report to your manager and HR. And don't feel any embarrassment by the way. This is only (hugely) embarrassing for her. What an idiot.

xyz111 · 08/12/2024 20:31

Agree, she needs reporting. I can't believe people like this exist in real life!! What a cow.

SemperIdem · 08/12/2024 20:27

That is really out of order. I can’t fathom why she would think any of that interaction was acceptable.

Absolutely report it - but check your internal processes first. Your direct line manager may be the correct next step, rather than HR.

Clearinguptheclutter · 08/12/2024 20:15

Awful. Yes def report.
she needs to be spoken to, given a warning, and told in no uncertain terms that touching you like that is totally unacceptable.

HellofromJohnCraven · 08/12/2024 20:10

I'd have instinctively stamped her on the foot and watched her limp away.
What an absolute bitch.

standardduck · 08/12/2024 20:09

Awful!

You should report her, she should not be commenting on your body or touching you!

Original poster
MyLemonKoala · 08/12/2024 20:07

My first time posting on here and feeling so supported thank you everyone you’re all lovely 💐

Will report to HR first thing tomorrow. Grateful for feeling validated and seen by you lovely lot!

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 08/12/2024 20:06

She’s a bitch. You never say that ever! I’d spit in her tea.

TheBluntTurtle · 08/12/2024 20:06

So sorry OP - she sounds awful. tell your manager and report her to HR.

  1. what she said is unacceptable
  2. she shouldn’t be touching her colleagues regardless
  3. you told her she was rude and gave her the opportunity to reflect on what she did and apologise and she still didn’t
HashTagLil · 08/12/2024 20:05

If she does it again just say you could lose the weight if you felt you needed to, but she will always be a bitch.

But report her to management.

Skyrainlight · 08/12/2024 20:05

I agree with all the people saying report her to HR for shaming and touching you. You do not need to justify your weight to any of us. I'm pleased you are out a terrible relationship, just take care of yourself and don't let the awful woman get to you. xx