DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

Can someone please explain the abbreviations here? Sorry I’m new…

I'm always amazed by my stepdad
He's only 12 years older than me, and took on 14 year old me in his 20s. I can't imagine doing that in my 20s. He was always brilliant with me, helped me when my school did a rubbish job of teaching me algebra and I just couldn't get my head around it. I love him so much. That's a real man. I know he'll be there for me no matter what.

Course he’s begging you to ‘make it work’! He’s realised this cushy number is coming to an abrupt end, and is panicking he has to go back to live with family

Hardly

I really hope OP isn't going to decide this cocklodger can stay.

How are you doing @Rosettespur ?

Have you managed to get hold of the landlord yet or are they unavailable until next Thursday?

He is on the tenancy though

Wait til he has left and get the locks changed. If he isn’t on the tenancy there’s nothing he can do. Drop his stuff at his parents or arrange collection with someone with you

If he will agree to come off the tenancy agreement with the carrot that you work on the relationship with him living elsewhere, just dating as things went too fast, I would be tempted to play along. Then ‘change your mind’ as soon as he’s gone. He played you to get on the tenancy agreement and he may need to be played to get him to leave. Idk. Just a thought.

Legally, the LL cannot go over and tell him that unfortunately. A LL can only get him out via the courts, (if they don't go willingly), but this would end the tenancy for both. The best way for OP is to get the police to kick him out. Then she can sort the new TA with the LL.

instead of explaining time and time again I would just say “It’s over” like a broken record. He is trying to wear you down because he wants free accommodation. Could your landlord come over and tell him as he doesn’t pay rent he has to go? I would also ring his parents and explain you are no longer a couple, he doesn’t pay for anything and wont leave. I would probably tell them you will have to involve police soon (that will get them to have him back) he will leave then as I doubt they would make him pay rent. Then get new contract from landlord.

Well done for being strong. Its hard but you will do it...... especially for your daughter

Stay strong, you got this!
He will eventually see you won't waiver, and will have to face it's over.
I hope thing go smoothly with the land Lord
.
Any chance you can ask his parents to take him back? It shouldn't be your job but he may not be telling them he has to leave

You're not "hinting" OP you've actually told him to move out. He has been testing your boundaries to see how far he could belittle and control you and he's only sorry now you've actually told him to go. Had you not put in a boundary God only knows what would have been next with him!

Please get this low life cocklodger out of your home, if not for yourself please do it for your daughter.

Give him formal written notice to leave.

Honestly you need to stop hinting and discussing and explaining. Just state i need you out by x date and if you are not gone by that date and give me aggro then I will call the police. You can call the police on someone who you have a tenancy with if he refuses to leave. You explain the relationship has broken down and he is affecting yourself and your daughter. Your in the process of changing it over to a single tenancy.
Or alternatively just pack his stuff in bin bags when he's out then hand them to him at the door.

"hopefully this will help him get the hint further."

It's not a hint, one person wants a relationship to end, it ends. Manipulative cocklodger needs to leave. What did your landlord say? Of course he wants the free accommodation and lifestyle subsidies relationship to continue. He sounds vile, begging to live in your home for free instead of having a tiny bit of self respect and moving out. I'm not surprised the ick has increased. I'm sorry he's making it hard OP, but it shows you who he is.

In the (hopefully very) short term stop doing anything for him, cooking, laundry etc. This includes for his kid as 100% he'll use that to emotionally blackmail you.
If you bought anything for Christmas please return it, or give it to someone else, or even to charity.

He's a complete user and he's been taking advantage of you.

Please don't get sucked in to his promises. Nothing will change.

Are you hopeful about the tenancy agreement, was the LL/agency helpful?

He's probably trying to stall for time to find another roof, and once he has that he'll stop begging and start being vile again.

Are you going to pack his bags and tell him to leave? I think you should. Ignoring him is too passive and makes him think his delay tactics are working - which they are. He's still using you for his own advantage.

You are housing to him thats all.
He gets it.
He just doesn't want to lose free housing.
He couldn't care less about you or your daughter.
He has been living off you and he wants that to continue.
I feel so sorry for your daughter that access to her home was given to a man who doesn't contribute to it and is so unpleasant towards her.

Stop listening to him and do right by that daughter by getting him out of your childs home.
His sole concern is his free home.
Of course he wants to now work on the relationship.🙄

You desperately need to do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

It is so basic not to put men on the tenancy of your home just because they want it.

In what universe would any woman think this is in their childs interest to put the home at such risk for a free loading grifter.

You both deserve better than this.

Good for you for putting your daughter first x

Time to give him notice that his bags will be packed and on the doorstep, I think.

Oh he really does get it. It's just not what he wants.

God, he really doesn't get it does he. Stay firm.