DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

I also hope he is gone.

in terms of the tenancy, can she give notice on the existing one and start afresh? I’m not sure whether that is one month or three months but certainly a clear delineation.

Good lord, can you imagine going to see her professionally? "Your husband/partner has done no wrong, the women is always in the wrong, hormones etc. You know what women are like, ever so overwhelming for poor men to live with them. You should be paying him to say here because he's a royal man and all and not complaining he doesn't pay or contribute in any meaningful way."

The only abusive part was the ‘fucking’ part of ‘Read the fucking room’ and for including a swear word I apologise.

The rest I stand by, you are correct it did not occur to me a a psychologist would be posting and announcing their professional credentials whilst dispensing advice without reading all the OP’s posts. I felt your advice was patronising, misogynistic ‘overwhelmed by feminine hormones’ seriously and dangerous.

I’m glad for you that you find this a giggle but I think you are alone in that.

I really hope you don’t deal directly with clients, if I knew who you were I would be reporting your advice to your professional body, I’m appalled by it.

If you're a family psychologist you should not be allowed to practice 🥹

Goodness, @AnnieCookWriter I hope that's not how you speak to your clients!

Also, more importantly, I hope the OP is ok.

Joint private tenancies and relationship breakdown - Shelter England

Now you no longer want to be a couple - you're roommates. Technically, he owes you rent and 50% of gas/ electric, etc. It may be a way to get him to go quicker.

@ReadingSoManyThreads

Just from the off, I am on the OP's side, but as he's on the tenancy agreement, the police won't make him leave unless he's a threat to the OP.

She can ask him to leave like he could ask her to leave. If you're both on the tenancy, you have the same legal rights. You can't just kick someone out because you've had enough of them.

Maybe he IS feeling overwhelmed by feminine hormones and is handling it badly.

Hahahaha!

Read the fucking room

He is (hopefully now was) a misogynistic boyfriend who appears to contribute very little in terms of financial, practical or emotional support. They’ve no joint children, and he’s unpleasant to and about the OPs daughter. There is no ‘family’ here just a cocklodger.

The OP doesn’t have to justify telling him to leave she just has to sort the legalities of the tenancy.

I’m struggling to believe an actual family psychologist would write
’Maybe he IS feeling overwhelmed by feminine hormones’ And think the OP should spend effort understanding why he’s a misogynistic cocklodger.

Is there something else going on that he isn't talking about? Maybe there needs to be an honest conversation about how he is really feeling about living with you and your family. It's appropriate to tell him that if he does want to be there, his attitude needs to be more respectful, because living with people - whoever they are - means having some consideration for the impact your words have on them. It's your daughter, so of course you are concerned at what he says to her, and what the impact of that is! There are a lot of contributing dynamics in blended families that constantly need to be talked about, reappriased, and appreciated. Maybe he IS feeling overwhelmed by feminine hormones and is handling it badly. He is definitely handling SOMETHING badly, in this mix, but the key here is understanding WHY he is being the way he is. Getting things on an even keel means talking about the issues, identify what is really going on in everyone's mind, so that everyone knows how the others feel, and you can hopefully agree on a way forward that works for all concerned. Harmony is never easy to achieve for very long. Once resentment starts to build, it can take a lot to get rid of it. Talking and being honest are the only way you will get anything to work well in any family, especially when adolescents and/or peri/menopausal women are in the mix. Not to assume anything - just my perspective as a family psychologist. 💛💛💛

Those responses you mentioned are awful. Contemptuous, disrespectful & a bad sign. For me, it would be a deal breaker at this stage.

It wasnt me who wrote it but I am sure the poster was being sarcastic.

How on earth is that worse. Would be a blessing in my house!!

Some men just think they can make horrible comments to each and every woman of any age.

In this situation, it protects the daughter and that’s all I’m interested in. The two dick head adults can sort themselves out.

As the victim of an abuser who was illegally evicted by a protective landlord, who fought that and was allowed to re-enter, then cancelled the entire tenancy from under my feet leaving me homeless and in debt I'm 100% all for protecting women in dangerous situations but I can assure you that illegal evictions does not equal the automatic protection of women in domestic abuse situations.

But so what, so bloody what eh?

But they can do it, because he did. You can do loads of things that are technically illegal. What's he gonna do about it?

Exactly - it's the housing equivalent of "gross misconduct". Certain behaviour is just intolerable and as you say the safeguarding of anyone potentially vulnerable (such as a FOURTEEN year old girl as per op) takes precedence over the rental contract.

So what so bloody what?
Everybody seems so concerned with upholding the letter of the law. But the law doesn’t always even hold itself.
Sometimes situations require a little bit of leeway judges acknowledge that when they are handing out sentences
So can we just get on board with protecting women from danger situations?

No. They can't. Your daughters landlord has acted illegally.

The landlord can remove someone from a rolling tenancy, my daughters landlord did just this when the found out about the situation in the house

Explain the basic outline of why and ask your landlord to renew the tenancy in your name only

I hope he has gone OP. Showing he never contributed financially to the property could be helpful. He’s outstayed his welcome, 18 months too long.

@Runnerof1
This is a list of acronyms. https://www.mumsnet.com/i/acronyms