DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

Oh come on, OP. You've moved a man in who your daughter doesn't really like. He makes comments like this about her being ungrateful when he's living there for free!

Give your daughter the best Christmas present ever and kick him out.

You're basically paying him to live with you!

He doesn't pay towards the bills?? Freeloading cocklodger.

So he contributes nothing, and you're showing your teenage daughter how to let a man walk all over you?

Nope he doesn’t pay towards the bills, just token shopping (never clothes 🤣), runs the car etc

Why are you laughing at being such a big fool? How are you finding your choice of this man so hilarious?
You picked him and brought him to live with your child.

Lots of us have made bad choices in relationships, let's not berate the OP. Let us help her to improve her situation instead!

It got worse while I was typing. He can’t even afford to run a home? He doesn’t contribute to yours? AND your kid doesn’t like him. But you saw all that and thought, “Yummy, this is the man for me, what a catch.”

Right. Self esteem issues?

Why did you move a man in if your daughter doesn’t particularly care of him or get along with him? That was a bad move. You either end the relationship or continue it but don’t move them into your child’s home.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now. He hasn’t met my kids, we are just talking about making that happen now because we’ve been discussing buying a home on one of the islands or in highlands, for during the holidays etc so we will both keep our own houses we have at the moment, but we have discussed what will happen if him and the kids don’t get on. In that case, I won’t be buying a holiday home with him because I won’t make my kids stay with him for weeks over holidays if they don’t get on. We will just continue to have our relationship with overnights etc but moving in will not be something we discuss unless their relationship worked well.

Why is he living there? Sorry, but you’re a single mum and of course you don’t have to be a martyr but you also don’t move a man in when your kid doesn’t like him.

Sounds like your affection for DP is fading, too. Honestly, what a dick.

He needs you way more than you need him OP. If he carries on biting the hand that feeds him I'd tell him I'm not putting up with him anymore.

It doesnt really make any sense as far as i can see. was she saying it in an accusing way

He’s just bought himself a one way ticket, hasn’t he

You've got yourself a cocklodger. Boot him out!

You daughter tolerates him, and he is showing his true colours which aren't great. Honestly and truly I'd use this relatively small issue and nip it all in the bud now and tell him to leave.

I used to work at a Secondary school and I often overheard students talking about their weekend at dads etc. Although lots of the students were happy for their non-resident parents to have new partners as they only really visited, without fail they found the resident parents new partner difficult to adjust to particularly when it was previously an all female household. They were often happy mum had a partner to do things with, and didn't want to upset the apple cart but the moving in changed the dynamics of the home, even simple things like having san pro in the bathroom or walking from the shower in a towel. It sounds like that change of dynamics has happened in your home and although it's not right for you to be alone, DD is likely going to be living there another decade at least and this incident doesn't sound great.

Why when you have a daughter in the house are you putting up with this?

get rid of him. He sounds like a dickhead.

What does he think she is ungrateful for? Buying her pyjamas? Surely it's a parents responsibility to clothe their children who should have to feel gratitude for being cared for.
What is his relationship with her like generally. 14 is a very difficult age and she doesn't need someone critisising her all the time. And the comment about emotional women is just completely unacceptable.

You mean could be better.

Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house
Don't stand for this nonsense. It's your house tell him he knows where the door is.
I'd say he's trying to dominate/subjugate you both because he knows he's on the back foot (ie beholden to you since it's your house) he doesn't like not having al the power & so he's trying to gaslight you into kowtowing to him.

I took this as sarcastic.

Tells you all you need to know that your DD couldn't care what he says. I think I'd find it hard to care too. 3 people in the house, what's he doing while you do and fold away the washing? - I'm going to guess sitting on his arse watching/listening. Don't be doing his washing. Just send him on his way, he's no loss, does he even pay his way?