DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

I'm in the don't ever let a man in when you're an SP camp - because of instinct mainly but the reality maths doesn't add up. Usually after any relationship breaks down the DM ends up with the main dc responsibilities and therefore home. This equation might be changing a bit towards a bit more male responsibility but still has a long way to go until a true balance can be reached. Even when the DM goes from a spacious house to a Council/SH home - the DM is in charge of getting the home and keeping it.

The lone-DM with a roof put over their dc's heads far exceeds the numerous amount of ex-DPs (usually male) who have to forage around for a bedsit or live back with their mum whilst still maintaining contact with their dc which often proves difficult.

Now the reality of being an LP on half the income of a couple can be/is rather boring if you're dedicated so many LPs gravitate towards similarly 'ain't it shit' men to give life a semblance of joy beyond the looking after dc. The live at my mum's/bedsit/house share ex-DPs are finding their semblance of joy finding you too.

It's really not the greatest dynamic to form intimate, long-term relationships so I've opted out of the whole damn thing for ease of life and general happiness.

oh crap. Do you know the landlord well? Call them first thing and say you need him
off the tenancy.

Oh FFS. Well, good luck. You’re not getting him out.

You put him on the tenancy when he doesn’t even contribute? And you moved him in because “love” when you’re daughter didn’t even like him and you gave absolutely no thought to that.

You’ll have to give notice and move out I guess. Leave him with the tenancy and start over.

Still change the locks. And if he causes any trouble call the police they will remove him not you and your daughter. He can take you to court if he wants to pursue the matter.

He’s not a lodger, he doesn’t a notice. He has no right to stay at all.

There’s no man who’s more in love than one who needs a new address …..

he has no rights he isn’t even a lodger as he doesn’t pay rent but give him an eviction notice and say until the end of the week or you will get police involved

I would give him 48 hours to get out. Definitely tell him you will call police if he refuses to leave. He has no rights at all.

Call the police
or alternatively, just change the lock while he’s at work. You don’t actually have to have a conversation whilst that would be the grown-up thing to do. If you think you’re going to have any trouble with him just don’t let him back in once he’s out.

So your daughter didn't say a single thing wrong and yet he felt the need to stick his nose in?

I wouldn't be happy about that at all.

Serve an eviction notice as you would a lodger, give him 5 days to get his stuff out. Then, even if he doesn’t, wait till he is at work and change the locks and ask him for a forwarding address for his belongings.

You don’t have to give him 5 days btw, or any days at all. But you can if you want to be civil.

You pay to rent a bedroom for his DD and he contributes nothing?! How on earth has this situation come to be?

If he says hes not going, assuming you're not married, he's not on the tenancy (or on the mortgage) then you give him a reasonable timeframe (a week?) and if he refuses to go then you call the police.

EDIT to add there's a step before calling the police which is change the locks while he's out and bag up his stuff. If he starts being a pain in the arse then you call the police.

Cocklodger. Don't talk to him about splitting up, just tell him you are splitting up and you want him out by the end of the week.

Exact this. That comment shows he resents your daughter. Not something I would be prepared to tolerate. And it’s clear he’s not bringing much to the table even without that crap

The more I read the worse it gets! Just throw the waster out pronto. Complete cocklodger and a nasty one as well. You don’t need a reason -‘it’s not working for me’ is enough. He will try to stay - so time to get tough

Could you be over reacting?

You tell him that if he does not pack his stuff and leave then you will call the police. He has no rights to be in the house - he's not a tenant, he's not even a lodger.

Then you call the police.

I hope you're joking

@Rosettespur

OP, as another single parent, can I ask why you moved him in? As I said in my post, I’m not at this sort of juncture with my boyfriend. We’re not discussing moving in really, just buying a home somewhere in the highlands/islands for holidays and we would obviously “live together” there with my kids during holiday times/whenever we can get away. He and I would also stay there when my kids are with their dad. We are both lucky with jobs that allow it.
But even with this holiday only “living together,” it is fully conditional on how he and my kids get on when they meet in January. We plan to look at houses during this summer, so they’ll have 6 months to get to know each other before we start on that idea. If they don’t click well enough, then he and I will just continue our relationship the way it is. I will not move in, or part time move in, with him unless my kids are 100% on board. I will never move in permanently until my kids move out, no matter how well they get on. Part time holiday home is as far as I will go.

I’ve never felt any different. My kids will not be living with someone just because I pick them. Why did you do it? I’m just interested in the other perspective, especially when she didn’t even like him.

He sounds like the ungrateful one. Glad you’re getting rid.

sounds like you and DD will have the best Xmas