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Original poster

DP just called DD ungrateful - I’m fuming!

659 replies

Rosettespur · 08/12/2024 17:03

DP and I not on great terms at the moment.

DD is 14 (not his). We live together.

I was in the kitchen folding washing with DD and she mentioned her pj bottoms had faded abit, not in a rude way, just generally.

’D’P then loudly said from the other room ‘so ungrateful’!

I went in and asked who he was talking to, apparently it was DD, he could see my reaction so tried to laugh it off.

DD and I went upstairs for a while, came back down and he wanted me to apologise for ‘over reacting’ to the comment. Adding that he is sick of ‘emotional women’ in the house. He then made some shity comments about ‘don’t even ask me to apologise or I’ll actually laugh’

Suddenly have massive ick and he is sulking

OP posts:
SalsaLights · 09/12/2024 14:19

Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:02

Well…he came home from work, begging that things will change and he refuses to give up on the relationship. Stating he doesn’t care if I have given up he is staying put to ‘show me’ how things can be different!

I am now ignoring him. But I honestly have no idea how I am getting out of this tbh

Edited

He's doing this because he doesn't want to have to go back to his family - so it's easier to try and sweet talk you. He wants to keep his comfy life where you pay the majority of the bills, do most of the housework (I'm guessing - am I right?), and he gets sex on tap as well.

Call his bluff.

Tell him that the relationship is over so it doesn't matter what he wants, because he can't force you to be in a relationship with him. And that if he refuses to move out, you'll serve notice on the house which will force him to leave anyway. So if he really does care about you as he claims, then he won't be such a prick as to force you and your DD to leave the house just because he's too selfish to move out of a house where he pays none of the rent and bills anyway.

WearyAuldWumman · 09/12/2024 14:15

JHound · 09/12/2024 14:14

What is LTB?

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Leave the...

SeamsLegit · 09/12/2024 14:15

Call people in his earshot and explain you have ended the relationship and that he is refusing to leave?

JHound · 09/12/2024 14:14

HPandthelastwish · 08/12/2024 17:09

You know everyone is going g to tell you to LTB and ask what the housing situation is like.

What is LTB?

JHound · 09/12/2024 14:14

Also each to their own but misogyny, even the slightest hint of it is such a dealbreaker for me. His comment about “emotional women” would make me see him in a different light permanently.

JHound · 09/12/2024 14:13

MiddleParking · 08/12/2024 17:04

Could be worse, could be no man at all.

This is a joke right?

ClarityClankrantt · 09/12/2024 14:12

Why are you not getting along at the moment? Maybe time to get rid?

WearyAuldWumman · 09/12/2024 14:12

Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:08

I called but no one there until Thursday to discuss so put it in an email. I told him this too and he just brushed it off as ridiculous

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Since he's seen fit to brush it off, maybe just go ahead with trying to change the tenancy and not tell him until you've been given the official notice to quit?

WearyAuldWumman · 09/12/2024 14:10

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 09/12/2024 14:07

Staying put for free room and board more like.

Calculate 50% of all bills, backdated to the day the cocklodger moved in and tell him to cough the fuck up

I'm betting his desire to stay will miraculously vanish.

This. You need to make life as awkward as possible for him, OP. In his case, "awkward" means making the bugger pay his way.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 09/12/2024 14:08

He's not going to go without a fight.
You need to make it more trouble to stay than to go

Original poster
Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:08

toucheee · 09/12/2024 14:05

Did you call the landlord?

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I called but no one there until Thursday to discuss so put it in an email. I told him this too and he just brushed it off as ridiculous

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 09/12/2024 14:07

Staying put for free room and board more like.

Calculate 50% of all bills, backdated to the day the cocklodger moved in and tell him to cough the fuck up

I'm betting his desire to stay will miraculously vanish.

WearyAuldWumman · 09/12/2024 14:06

Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:02

Well…he came home from work, begging that things will change and he refuses to give up on the relationship. Stating he doesn’t care if I have given up he is staying put to ‘show me’ how things can be different!

I am now ignoring him. But I honestly have no idea how I am getting out of this tbh

Edited

If he wants to "show you" he needs to start by paying his fair share of the rent and household bills as well as doing housework...but in your place I'd still have a word with the landlord to see whether it's possible to end the tenancy and then re-start it in your name only.

toucheee · 09/12/2024 14:05

Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:02

Well…he came home from work, begging that things will change and he refuses to give up on the relationship. Stating he doesn’t care if I have given up he is staying put to ‘show me’ how things can be different!

I am now ignoring him. But I honestly have no idea how I am getting out of this tbh

Edited

Did you call the landlord?

Original poster
Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 14:02

Well…he came home from work, begging that things will change and he refuses to give up on the relationship. Stating he doesn’t care if I have given up he is staying put to ‘show me’ how things can be different!

I am now ignoring him. But I honestly have no idea how I am getting out of this tbh

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 09/12/2024 13:23

I suspect Mr Helpless Baby is going to be totally unavailable and you’re going to have to pack his shit up for him and change the locks, mate.

ElaborateCushion · 09/12/2024 13:02

Rosettespur · 09/12/2024 10:41

No, he basically works in something like a car salesman, won’t say too much as it’s outing but on like £16,000 a year basic

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I think he might be conning you on this too tbh. Unless he works part time, his salary on a 37.5 hour week would be at least £22,308 on minimum wage.

toucheee · 09/12/2024 12:43

Monty27 · 09/12/2024 05:37

That's really not helpful. We know how love blind people can get and the idea is to encourage OP to take off the rose tinted glasses. Not compare her dd to you @Ezlo .

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What on earth? Enzo's post was very helpful.

Mrsbloggz · 09/12/2024 12:40

Well done op.
I would say that his habit of only taking low paid insecure work is part of his Modus operandi, he does it to con others into feeling sorry for him.
The sheer brass neck of expecting to leach off of you!!

Zippidydoodah · 09/12/2024 12:34

Good luck @Rosettespur . You have done the right thing for you and your daughter. I hope he makes it as simple as possible for you.

DowntonFlabbie · 09/12/2024 12:30

I wouldn't care about the legal position. Pack his shit and put it outside, tell landlord he left.
On the off chance he goes for legal recourse (he won't, he's far too lazy and incompetent for that) I'd just say no idea what you're talking about mate, you walked out on me 🤷‍♀️.

Mls1984btc · 09/12/2024 12:27

Skyrainlight · 09/12/2024 12:19

I understand that is the legal position. But as I'm sure you have seen in this thread not all landlords follow that and some have said they would change it for OP, so it's not beyond reason that the reverse is possible. And I read a thread on here the other day about a woman who went away for a few days and her partner had changed the locks. There may be legal recourse, but I would want my landlord to know the true story before the dodgy cocklodger can do anything, so at least if he does change the locks the landlord would aware of the true situation.

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Especially when his daughter got her own room in Op's house.

Skyrainlight · 09/12/2024 12:19

TheSilkWorm · 09/12/2024 12:13

Neither of them can change the locks or remove the other from the tenancy!

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I understand that is the legal position. But as I'm sure you have seen in this thread not all landlords follow that and some have said they would change it for OP, so it's not beyond reason that the reverse is possible. And I read a thread on here the other day about a woman who went away for a few days and her partner had changed the locks. There may be legal recourse, but I would want my landlord to know the true story before the dodgy cocklodger can do anything, so at least if he does change the locks the landlord would aware of the true situation.

DowntonFlabbie · 09/12/2024 12:15

Monty27 · 09/12/2024 05:37

That's really not helpful. We know how love blind people can get and the idea is to encourage OP to take off the rose tinted glasses. Not compare her dd to you @Ezlo .

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It's more helpful that 90 per cent of the thread. Pp is using her lived experience to show exactly why OP has fucked up and as a salutatory tale to not back down.
Your response to pps clearly difficult life long experience and dismissal of it as love blind behaviour is abhorrent.

TheSilkWorm · 09/12/2024 12:13

Skyrainlight · 09/12/2024 12:06

Agreed, you don't want to get home and find he has changed the locks and contacted the landlord first.

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Neither of them can change the locks or remove the other from the tenancy!