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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed play centre held a party at the same time as open session?

263 replies

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:41

I went to a little role play cafe today with my children. It’s only small so probably only capacity for about thirty kids. Fine except today there was a birthday party which was pretty much the whole centre. So after an hour or so of play pretty much every other child there went and sat at a table with food, balloons and cake and were playing party games.

I have had this before at soft play and obviously it happens but at soft play it’s bigger and less obvious and when the children go to eat and play games it’s in a separate room. This wasn’t.

AIBU? I felt a bit sad for mine as they’d struck up friendships with some kids playing and then they were left almost alone!

OP posts:
Onceachunkymonkey · 08/12/2024 17:10

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 17:09

So this is the point isn’t it, the session cost £30 plus fuel getting there so not cheap at all. If I had taken then home after an hour (session was 2 and a half hours) it’s a waste of money, and I do think that it should be clear when there’s a party on and how big it is as it really wasn’t nice when the room emptied.

I have been to parties where this sort of thing happens but the ‘party’ goes on in a separate room whereas here it was too small so the party was literally in front of them.

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Op, you’re being a little shall we say unusual? Did you want your kids to attend this party??

viques · 08/12/2024 17:10

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:57

It was that everyone in the room went and did fun activities they couldn’t do. Obviously as adults we understand it but they didn’t and were a bit confused and upset.

Then you should have explained in an age appropriate way, or if your children are very young just said “ say goodbye, it time we went home” and left.

Original poster
Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 17:10

Zippidydoodah · 08/12/2024 17:09

Oh my word. Did you expect your kids to be invited, or something? The play centre did nothing wrong. Sorry that your kids felt left out but that’s life! Teach them to be resilient and deal with disappointments like this.

No of course I didn’t. I do think the play centre should just have had the party on and not accepted any additional bookings. That’s all.

OP posts:
x2boys · 08/12/2024 17:10

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:57

It was that everyone in the room went and did fun activities they couldn’t do. Obviously as adults we understand it but they didn’t and were a bit confused and upset.

Well yeah but it's a party they haven't been invited too and don't know the kids
If you had stumbled across a party from your kids school/ nursery and they did know the children you might have more of a point.

hamsandyams · 08/12/2024 17:10

This is an opportunity to be thankful to the play centre for teaching your child resilience in an incredibly low stakes environment.

Child had small disappointment, learned they won't always be involved in everything on account of the world not revolving around them (which isn't obvious to young children) and they were able to deal with some negative feelings and move on with absolutely zero consequences.

We should be seeking out opportunities like that for our children to encounter every single day. Resilience is an underrated skill that I think we are fast losing as we try to protect children from negative emotions.

Original poster
Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 17:09

Onceachunkymonkey · 08/12/2024 17:06

So why didn’t you take them home, offer to do something else? Why let them stay and play with the kids.

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So this is the point isn’t it, the session cost £30 plus fuel getting there so not cheap at all. If I had taken then home after an hour (session was 2 and a half hours) it’s a waste of money, and I do think that it should be clear when there’s a party on and how big it is as it really wasn’t nice when the room emptied.

I have been to parties where this sort of thing happens but the ‘party’ goes on in a separate room whereas here it was too small so the party was literally in front of them.

OP posts:
Eminybob · 08/12/2024 17:09

This is one of the most batshit things I have ever read on this site.

Zippidydoodah · 08/12/2024 17:09

Oh my word. Did you expect your kids to be invited, or something? The play centre did nothing wrong. Sorry that your kids felt left out but that’s life! Teach them to be resilient and deal with disappointments like this.

StarrySquawk · 08/12/2024 17:09

I'm not sure I understand. What would you have liked to happen?

Sortumn · 08/12/2024 17:09

Would you rather have been turned away?
Maybe that play party was better than those we've been to but I know my kids would rather continue to play, coming and going for m from the table to grab snacks and drinks than be herded into a room to eat.

Marblesbackagain · 08/12/2024 17:08

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:58

The whole playground probably wouldn’t be joining in on that though. So not really the same.

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Well yes they could because a party may take place there.

Do you actually get out much because you seem very surprised by a very normal experience

Whataplonkerheis · 08/12/2024 17:07

If they had closed the centre, then your kids wouldn’t have been allowed in at all. Surely that would have been even worse?

x2boys · 08/12/2024 17:06

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:53

It’s not really at all like them going home to dinner though - they aren’t having dinner right in front of them!

It would be different if these were kids they @knew having a party in front of them ,but they are strangers to your kids attending a patty .

Onceachunkymonkey · 08/12/2024 17:06

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 17:04

I explained and they did accept it but it did put a bit of a dampener on the (not cheap!) play session when they could see nearly everyone else having fun with games and dancing while they were on their own.

So why didn’t you take them home, offer to do something else? Why let them stay and play with the kids.

Coconutter24 · 08/12/2024 17:06

It’s a weekend, soft play do in session parties so yes YABU. Go to the bigger soft play you mentioned or avoid on a weekend incase there is a party if it causes a problem for you.
When you told your child they couldn’t join in what did they do sit with you upset or carry on playing?

TofuTart · 08/12/2024 17:06

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:57

It was that everyone in the room went and did fun activities they couldn’t do. Obviously as adults we understand it but they didn’t and were a bit confused and upset.

If they were confused and upset you just tell them they had to go now as they were at a party, but you could still stay and have fun?
Totally normal for parties to be on whilst the public are there too at soft play, seen that loads.
YABU

Original poster
Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 17:04

I explained and they did accept it but it did put a bit of a dampener on the (not cheap!) play session when they could see nearly everyone else having fun with games and dancing while they were on their own.

OP posts:
InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 08/12/2024 17:03

Why bother asking if you're being unreasonable when you are adamant that you're not?

Yabu, this is totally normal.

pinkroses79 · 08/12/2024 17:03

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:57

It was that everyone in the room went and did fun activities they couldn’t do. Obviously as adults we understand it but they didn’t and were a bit confused and upset.

But you can explain. Even pre school children can understand that. I don't think it is an issue at all. It's good for them to adapt to different situations.

Boomer55 · 08/12/2024 17:02

Can’t see the issue. 🤷‍♀️. Your kids need to understand that they can’t always be included.

BodyKeepingScore · 08/12/2024 17:01

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:57

It was that everyone in the room went and did fun activities they couldn’t do. Obviously as adults we understand it but they didn’t and were a bit confused and upset.

So you explain to them that they don't know these children and weren't invited to the party. Job done. It's not the business owners fault that your children don't understand they can't be included in everything

Thesheerrelief · 08/12/2024 17:00

Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:57

It was that everyone in the room went and did fun activities they couldn’t do. Obviously as adults we understand it but they didn’t and were a bit confused and upset.

Genuinely a good opportunity to help them understand the situation. Much as we'd like to we can't (and shouldn't) wrap our children in cotton wool. There will always be children with different experiences, possessions or less or more etc. Plus, this was in a public place!

Whoarethoseguys · 08/12/2024 17:00

LookingForAHandHold · 08/12/2024 16:56

Personally I'd say YANBU, but only because it's wrong of the centre to do both at the same time.

They probably have no choice. It's very usual for play centres to stay open when a party is taking place. The alternative would mean them losing money which as a small business I assume they can't afford.

Original poster
Hohohoididnotgo · 08/12/2024 16:58

Marblesbackagain · 08/12/2024 16:57

It is like being at the playground and some family having a picnic. YABU

The whole playground probably wouldn’t be joining in on that though. So not really the same.

OP posts:
biscuitsandbooks · 08/12/2024 16:57

You're being ridiculous.