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Original poster

What help did you want in your first week postpartum?

82 replies

ridl14 · 08/12/2024 11:00

Wasn't quite sure where to post this!

I'm 7 months pregnant with my first and trying to work out what I might want in our first week at home.

I'm from London but we moved a couple of hours away last year to be near DH's family and better quality of life. I have a couple of work friends here now but majority of friends (esp close ones) and remaining family are in London.

My lovely MIL wants to help out postpartum and I'm trying to picture what help I'll actually want. My own family is just my elderly grandma who can't travel and my younger brother who would be very willing to help but has literally no idea what to do with a baby. I do think I wouldn't want any other visitors for the first week.

Part of me thinks amazing, she's been so great bringing us food and helping finish painting our house before the baby gets here, I know she'd want to come and give practical help which I'd love for us to have - especially my husband who tends to try and take everything on himself. We get on well and we lived with her and my FIL for months while buying our house so she's seen me in PJs no make up plenty of times - it's just not quite the same familiarity as someone who's raised you/a best friend.

Part of me thinks I'll be postpartum, no idea what kind of birth I'm going to have or how the hormone drop will hit me. I've read that essay about lemon-sized blood clots and wanting to walk around with leaky boobs out.

I told my husband already I don't want to make any plans for after the birth until we get there, and he said whatever I want, we'll do.

What did you want/need? Someone staying overnight or for days at a time? Coming over once a day or during the day? I feel like help cooking, cleaning and holding the baby so we can shower etc would be great but I'd also like some quiet time or to know I can wander round half dressed and crying and not feel self conscious. Plus I'd like to really be able to grab sleep upstairs when I need to without hearing anyone talking or things going on downstairs and have all the time I want to bond with my baby.

OP posts:
Scrambledchickens · 08/12/2024 13:08

I would say if you like her company definitely have her pop round daily especially if she will cook some lovely food and do the washing. If she breastfed she can be a good support while you get that up and running. If she is in any way annoying avoid.

Dithercats · 08/12/2024 13:05

My in laws stayed when I had a baby - mostly to look after the older ones while we were at hospital.
But mil cooked meals, did washing and put the hoover around.
She also answered the door to say I was upstairs asleep lol..to any surprise visitors.

WalterdelaMare · 08/12/2024 13:04

I didn’t need any specific help as my husband was home so he looked after everything. I just sat on the sofa and breastfed and enjoyed all the visitors.

When he went back to work, he made sure there was lots for me to eat but I felt fine and was back to normal by then.

Dollshousedolly · 08/12/2024 13:02

First child, with your DH at home presumably for at least the first week - you won't actually need anyone else.

KindLemur · 08/12/2024 13:01

cooking decent but filling food and then subsequent washing up mainly …. Even just a quick tidy round and turning the washer on, carrying a laundry basket was painful.

just sit and hold baby whilst I had a shower as was a heatwave and I was sweaty ! But Dp was around for that tbh. I was keen to get up and about and did go on a few trips out with the pram from about 5 days old. But I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to take baby away from me/ the house for a rest for more than maybe 10 mins.
everyone is different though, my SIL had her baby staying at grandparents at 3 days old overnight so she could rest.

Whattochoose1 · 08/12/2024 12:56

As above it was doing a quick tidy, bringing a meal around (my friend left a roast chicken dinner on my doorstep and it was honestly the best present, he didn't even come in) or my auntie who turned up in rubber gloves to clean my bathroom when I was having a rough time 6 weeks in - absolute heroes in my opinion!

LogicalImpossibility · 08/12/2024 11:12

Someone who comes in at a regular time, puts the kettle on, tidies up, puts a wash on and puts away the wash they did yesterday, asks if you’d like some food and makes it without bothering you about where the bread (or whatever) is kept.

For me, it was less about holding the baby (I was breastfeeding almost constantly at that early stage) but about all the other things that I was too knackered to keep on top of. Like eating, and clean baby clothes.

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