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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think children should be made to behave in a theatre?

132 replies

Sziasztok · 08/12/2024 10:57

Went to an amateur pantomime on a Friday, that a friend was performing in. It was in the theatre of a local school. During the entire performance, kids were running all over the theatre, including climbing up on the stage to scream at and prod the performers. They paused the performance twice to ask parents to keep their children off the stage (at one point, one little shit, who looked to be about 8, was at the front of the stage, kicking and trying to smash the lights). Two kids stood in the aisle and had a screaming competition. Again, they paused the performance as no-one could hear anything.

I asked my friend if it was always that bad. She said that the matinées that they did for schools were fine, as the teachers didn’t allow bad behaviour and any disruptive child was either told off or removed. But the evening performances always had to be paused at least once to get kids off the stage, and parents seemed to think it was cute/funny.

To be clear, it wasn’t just one or two kids who were disruptive, it was the vast majority of them. And it wasn’t the normal interaction with the cast (“He’s behind you!”) or inviting the kids on stage, it ruined the whole performance. Is this normal behaviour these days? Mine would have been removed or read the riot act if they had behaved like this.

OP posts:
YellowAsteroid · 08/12/2024 14:27

I blame the parents. They're ignorant sods.

Maybe they thought because it was amateur, the performers and stage crew deserved no respect? Totally wrong and again, hugely ignorant of them. They're working hard, for nothing, to put on a show. And parents allow their children to scream and destroy the evening.

Now I know why my train carriage was invaded by 16 year old lads smoking, drinking and shouting obscenities for over an hour.

Some people should not be allowed to have had children. Having children rarely makes anyone a better person - quite the reverse, it seems.

Itissunnysomewhere · 08/12/2024 14:25

cuddlebear · 08/12/2024 11:11

Yanbu.

However, it isn’t just children. I went to the theatre last weekend and a large group of adults talked, whooped and play fought each other through the whole performance.

Other people were telling them to STFU but they didn’t care. An usher threatened them with security but nothing happened when they continued.

I would say the average age of the group was 45, and the ringleader was a woman of about 70.

Yes. It's not just children, it's people

People arriving late or going in and out when they feel like it.

People getting their phones out even when reminded not to.

Noisy and constant eating

In one case a woman was talking on her phone till the usher told her off.

And also parents not stopping their children behaving badly. I was kicked in the back repeatedly by a child at a recent performance we went to and even though I made their parents aware they did nothing to stop it. The child was at least 13 I reckon.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 08/12/2024 14:23

Thewildthingsarewithme · 08/12/2024 14:21

I am horrified almost daily by children’s behaviour. You say it in these threads and someone always pull out the Aristotle (I think) quote about children having always been badly behaved etc etc but I have been a nanny/teacher/parent for the last 15 years and in the last five years some (many) parents just refuse to parent their children and seem to think awful behaviour is funny or seem completely helpless to stop it

I hate it when that quote comes out because it’s a myth, Socrates never said it, it was written in 1907!

(quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/01/misbehave/?amp=1)

Ablondiebutagoody · 08/12/2024 14:23

The problem is that people accept it. The kids and their families should have been asked to leave.

Thewildthingsarewithme · 08/12/2024 14:21

I am horrified almost daily by children’s behaviour. You say it in these threads and someone always pull out the Aristotle (I think) quote about children having always been badly behaved etc etc but I have been a nanny/teacher/parent for the last 15 years and in the last five years some (many) parents just refuse to parent their children and seem to think awful behaviour is funny or seem completely helpless to stop it

ReggaetonLente · 08/12/2024 14:20

I've seen similar and quite honestly it makes me not want to take mine places where I think we’ll encounter it. Not only does it ruin things for them but they also don’t understand why they aren’t allowed to behave like the other kids, especially when there are no repercussions.

AmICrazyToEvenBother · 08/12/2024 14:19

That's absolutely shocking.

Mine would be whisked out at the first of any bad behaviour - not that she would r ever has, because she's not a little savage.

RudolfIsMySpiritAnimal · 08/12/2024 14:18

That is awful behaviour and as a performer I would refuse to go back on until they were removed or under control.

However in decades as a performer, including lots of children’s theatre, and many years taking my own children to shows, I’ve thankfully never encountered such bad behaviour from audience members!

LlynTegid · 08/12/2024 14:18

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 08/12/2024 14:08

I do despair for the future. Gentle parenting=lazy parents.

who then wonder why their children are awful teenagers.

ginasevern · 08/12/2024 14:17

But surely the little darlings must be allowed to explore boundaries and validate their feelings (and other such buzz wordy shit) because otherwise they might be scarred for life. We don't want that now do we.

LlynTegid · 08/12/2024 14:17

RosieLeaf · 08/12/2024 13:34

They should be asked to leave. No exceptions.

Not just ask, but it should be insisted.

Never heard of this before myself.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 08/12/2024 14:14

I went to see Wicked and kids were running around the cinema, others were doing cartwheels, others were sitting in a group and having a really loud conversation. Parents all ignored them.

I think it’s the modern way - I rarely go out these days and every time I do, it’s like nobody seems to know how to behave.

YANBU, it’s dreadful.

LawrenceSMarlowforPresident · 08/12/2024 14:11

I attended a matinee performance at a London theatre several years ago. Many children were well behaved. However, the behaviour of the children in one school group was shocking. They shouted, threw things at each other, and even poured water on people in the stalls below. We were sitting a few rows behind them and as far as I could see, their teachers did nothing to stop them.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 08/12/2024 14:08

I do despair for the future. Gentle parenting=lazy parents.

Theimpossiblegirl · 08/12/2024 13:57

NoMoreFalafelForYou · 08/12/2024 12:55

Some adults can’t behave at the theatre though either. And I’m not talking pantomimes. The first time I saw Hamilton a mother and daughter in front of us sang along to practically every song. We were in the stalls and I’m only surprised a cast member didn’t tell them to shut up.

Omg I would have said something. You pay good money to see professional singers, it's not a singalong.

Oddsquadnumber1 · 08/12/2024 13:56

Wow I've never seen behaviour like that at any theatre. That's outrageous

ohyesido · 08/12/2024 13:50

That’s dreadful behaviour theatres are not playgrounds!

username299 · 08/12/2024 13:48

Sounds like Lord of the Flies.

Cyclistmumgrandma · 08/12/2024 13:47

I wonder if it's at all related to the ticket price. Went to see a mâtiné performance of a pantomime yesterday with my child. (Well he's 37 and had his wife with him, but he's still my child.) We were in a proper theatre and yes, there were toddlers in tears when the baddie frightened them and fairly constant low level conversations as parents explained what was happening to small children. Several parents took upset children out and one family comprising a full half row left at the interval, (not so surprising as the smallest child had been saying "I want to go home" right at the start!). All was to be expected and no children were shouting or screaming when they shouldn't have been and there was no running about. We all enjoyed it.

Shityshitybangbang · 08/12/2024 13:45

Not at the theatre but I was Aldi last Thursday and a 3 year old pulled around 5 loafs of bread from the shelf and started jumping on them. The mum just stood on her phone and done bugger all. I was gobsmacked. The staff were fuming. I don’t blame them. Utter shit parenting

WinterUnder · 08/12/2024 13:44

MyPithyPoster · 08/12/2024 11:45

Can you actually imagine doing that in the 80s you wouldn’t have been able to sit down for a week your arse would’ve been so sore
Even in the 2000s mine would absolutely have been taken home at the first hint of that nonsense

This is what's needed I think.

WinterUnder · 08/12/2024 13:43

lunar1 · 08/12/2024 11:41

Awful parents raising awful children, and it won't be long before people come along to start mitigating the behaviour.

Yes agree. Frontal part of their brain not developed, must be overwhelmed with all the excitement of Xmas and other shit excuses.
I really think a smack needs to be done sometimes. Some children are utter shits. I went to the park recently and heard the child next to us speaking to her mother. If ever a smack was needed was then. Absolutely everyone around us was stunned.

Takeoutyourhen · 08/12/2024 13:39

GritGoes4th · 08/12/2024 12:40

Poor performers! Sounds hellish.

I teach primary and the behaviour of some children flips like a switch when parents pick them up. It's eye-opening. They have behaved perfectly well all day, then suddenly they are tantrumming at Mum or Dad once collected.

Some parents don't believe me when I tell them that their dc are beautifully behaved and polite and thoughtful. Yes, they really can sit and work quietly for 20 minutes and then tidy up without complaint!

I have found that the parents of such pupils end up pushing for a SEND diagnosis.

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/12/2024 13:38

allthatfalafel · Today 12:17
**
I mean this is just all kids at all events. I don't have kids and would never go to a pantomime or anything else that was obviously kid-based.

It really isn’t. The majority of children know how to behave appropriately.

I’ve seen awful behaviour from adults in theatres.

RosieLeaf · 08/12/2024 13:34

They should be asked to leave. No exceptions.