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AIBU?

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To think children should be made to behave in a theatre?

132 replies

Sziasztok · 08/12/2024 10:57

Went to an amateur pantomime on a Friday, that a friend was performing in. It was in the theatre of a local school. During the entire performance, kids were running all over the theatre, including climbing up on the stage to scream at and prod the performers. They paused the performance twice to ask parents to keep their children off the stage (at one point, one little shit, who looked to be about 8, was at the front of the stage, kicking and trying to smash the lights). Two kids stood in the aisle and had a screaming competition. Again, they paused the performance as no-one could hear anything.

I asked my friend if it was always that bad. She said that the matinées that they did for schools were fine, as the teachers didn’t allow bad behaviour and any disruptive child was either told off or removed. But the evening performances always had to be paused at least once to get kids off the stage, and parents seemed to think it was cute/funny.

To be clear, it wasn’t just one or two kids who were disruptive, it was the vast majority of them. And it wasn’t the normal interaction with the cast (“He’s behind you!”) or inviting the kids on stage, it ruined the whole performance. Is this normal behaviour these days? Mine would have been removed or read the riot act if they had behaved like this.

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FourChimneys · 08/12/2024 20:33

Apart from SEN and most parents will manage that carefully, there is no excuse. Poor parenting, lazy and ignorant.

Having said that, a few years ago a colleague and I were organising an arts event. We had put a lot of unpaid time into it which we were happy to do. A man who thought he was being funny kept disrupting everything with stupid comments and look-at-me behaviour. I stopped everything and announced very clearly that either he left or I did. As I was in charge the event would have ended there, with about 100 people disappointed. There was a stunned silence but I just stood there with raised eyebrows. After a minute or two he was escorted out by another colleague, followed by his embarrassed wife,never to be seen again.

Behave or get out. I would have it printed on every ticket.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 08/12/2024 19:59

@2010Aussie Steward asked parent to keep children under control as they were a danger to themselves and others. Reply "They are only two."

I hate that but speaking from experience the excuse will grow with the child "They are only two/six/eight" and when they become teens it changes to "They are only young."

tigercrunch · 08/12/2024 19:47

That's terrible! I'm in an amateur theatre group that puts on an annual panto, including a matinee where small kids make up a lot of the audience, and so far we've never had feral behaviour, thank goodness. OK, often the kids are quite noisy and up and down in their seats, and it can make it hard to concentrate on our lines 😄 but their parents or group leaders tend to at least make an effort to manage things, and obviously we realise some noise and high spirits are inevitable (and hopefully means they're having fun, as we want them to).

But blimey, we've never had kids try to come up on stage, distract performers or actually damage equipment. How awful for the performers. Shame on the parents or whoever was supposedly in charge of these kids - they should have been taken outside and told pack it in or we're going home.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 08/12/2024 19:22

iwishihadaname · 08/12/2024 15:05

But ur dd is enjoying herself. Good for her

Yeah, I never want to temper down the enjoyment, but I’d definitely be there supporting her and making sure she’s not running up on stage and stuff

nfg · 08/12/2024 19:04

CheeseyOnionPie · 08/12/2024 18:44

…ugh brats…and then people get all touchy when events or venues are increasingly child free.

Child free places/performances/whatever were created due to crap parenting/lack of concern/ignorance from parents in the OP.

Mrburnshound · 08/12/2024 18:59

I find this very surprising. I've taken DS to various west end shows and also our local SW London theatre and have never seen anything like this. Even the "relaxed performances"

The only thing I can think of was seeing the woman in black c.2005 and they had to stop the show to ask a school group to not be over dramatically scared/screaming etc.

comfyshoes2022 · 08/12/2024 18:47

That’s terrible, and I find it shocking.

CheeseyOnionPie · 08/12/2024 18:44

…ugh brats…and then people get all touchy when events or venues are increasingly child free.

nfg · 08/12/2024 18:42

Parents need to control their children more. People need to tell these crap parents this isn’t a playground

coxesorangepippin · 08/12/2024 18:38

It seems to be a combination of neurodiversity and not great parenting, but there must be other factors contributing to this explosion of poor behaviour and general lack of respect. I can totally believe what the OP has described.

^

It's bad parenting, disguised as neurodiversity.

Let's not make it sound more glamorous than what it is.

coxesorangepippin · 08/12/2024 18:37

If you can't change the behavior, change the situation

So, they should leave.

RosieLeaf · 08/12/2024 18:36

2010Aussie · 08/12/2024 18:35

There seems to be a reluctance now for places of entertainment to ask people to leave. Perhaps they are terrified of bad reviews on Trip Advisor etc? But totally unreasonable for other customers to have to put up with bad behaviour and the only way the message is going to get across is if the perpetrators are thrown out.

I’d leave an excellent review if they threw disruptive little oiks out.

2010Aussie · 08/12/2024 18:35

RosieLeaf · 08/12/2024 13:34

They should be asked to leave. No exceptions.

There seems to be a reluctance now for places of entertainment to ask people to leave. Perhaps they are terrified of bad reviews on Trip Advisor etc? But totally unreasonable for other customers to have to put up with bad behaviour and the only way the message is going to get across is if the perpetrators are thrown out.

2010Aussie · 08/12/2024 18:24

Floralnomad · 08/12/2024 11:23

Totally agree , it is shocking how some parents allow their kids to behave in public . It is no wonder that the teachers have such problems in some schools as there appear to be numerous children now who are raised with no boundaries or rules at all .

Two events this weekend. 1. Christmas concert with adult choir and children's school choir. Younger siblings allowed to run up and down the aisles screaming during performance. Very distracting for performers. 2. Christmas Tree festival in a large church. Very busy. Couple of toddlers allowed to run around bumping into people, pulling at the Christmas Trees. Steward asked parent to keep children under control as they were a danger to themselves and others. Reply "They are only two."

RedRobyn2021 · 08/12/2024 18:12

I thought this would be one of those posts where you were complaining the kids were a bit loud, but this really really isn't on

Parents should be removing their kids, what are they even doing??

Bushmillsbabe · 08/12/2024 18:08

That's shocking. I took my Rainbows group (aged 4-7) to cinema today and apart from needing the toilet, I didn't hear a peep from them the entire movie.

There is of course the occasional crying baby or toddler, but apart from that, I wouod never expect to see the behaviour described by OP. My 5 year old wouod struggle to stay silent and sit for 2 hours in a theatre, so I wouldn't take her until I thought she wouod be ready

Flapjacka · 08/12/2024 18:01

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 08/12/2024 15:44

It's not terrible to have different behaviour with your safe people necessarily but it's not fair to ruin a performance for other people. That isn't acceptable.

Yes, that goes without saying

Bumblebeestiltskin · 08/12/2024 17:56

Yikes, that sounds awful! I took my daughter to the theatre when she was 6, thinking she'd be fine - she did last almost all the way through, but towards the end it got too much for her and she was getting upset, not wanting to stay in her seat and so on. So I took her out! I explained it was fine if she was struggling to sit in her seat, but that she couldn't disturb everyone else trying to enjoy the show. I gave her the choice to go home if she was struggling, or go back in if she thought she could cope till the end of the show.

Needmorelego · 08/12/2024 17:52

@MereDintofPandiculation well yes. The organisers could sue the twatty family I suppose.
Personally I'd rather wait half an hour for annoying people to be removed than have to put up with them being there during the performance.

Shityshitybangbang · 08/12/2024 17:34

Rocksaltrita · Today 17:02
You have got to be joking. Middle and upper class are the worst. Some of the behaviour I have saw from all those little Arabellas and Hubert’s have been shocking.

Balletdreamer · 08/12/2024 17:29

I’m done with the theatre. Cannot believe how many people chat during performances, ans the constantly rustling of crisp and sweet packets. Can people seriously not go an hour without having to stuff their faces.

ReggaetonLente · 08/12/2024 17:25

CandyMaker · 08/12/2024 14:35

You don;t get this type of bad behaviour in working class areas. Its middle class parents to blame.

Also my experience

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/12/2024 17:18

@Needmorelego I think you would find after half an hour that you'd be having to refund all those people who couldn't just hang around until the show restarted.

Needmorelego · 08/12/2024 17:13

@MereDintofPandiculation if I was in charge I would stop the performance as well as calling the police.
I know it would be a pain to the rest of the audience and the cast and crew but I am sure there would be plenty of mobile phone footage that means the selfish family can be named and shamed all over social media.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/12/2024 17:11

Needmorelego · 08/12/2024 16:05

@MereDintofPandiculation they call the police if the people refuse to leave.

Hmm. Do the police get there before the end of the show?