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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should Christmas be about obligation?

30 replies

Skyrainlight · 08/12/2024 10:30

I've seen so many threads from people travelling to see family for Christmas when they want to stay at home, or hosting people they don't want to host, or having family stay for days longer than the host wants them to stay. I used to believe my wants weren't important at Christmas and I hated it because of that. Long term illness means I can't travel so I now get to do what I want at Christmas and stay home which I absolutely love after decades of travelling (long haul every second year). Of course for some people travelling to see family is what they want to do, others love hosting a houseful. Everyone has a different idea of the ideal Christmas.

AIBU - Christmas is about obligation
YANBU - People should do what they want with their Christmas

OP posts:
Motheranddaughter · 08/12/2024 10:34

I love seeing family at Christmas and would not enjoy just being with DH and Dc
But I don't see it as an obligation

People should do what they want,although maybe not leave someone alone

mamajong · 08/12/2024 10:33

I used to feel obligated, until I realised no one else feels obligated when it comes to me and I was the only one putting myself out. I'd not see anyone conpletely alone at Christmas but this year I've canned the obligation and we're doing what we want to do. It's been controversial, as people have come to expect us to do all the hardworking but they'll get over it! It is honestly liberating!

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 08/12/2024 10:33

People should be able to do what they want, but then you also need to think about others. Unfortunately, everyone doing what they want just means everyone becomes selfish. Sometimes you have to be selfless and think of other people too.

But i get what you're saying completely.

HerSisterWasAWitch · 08/12/2024 10:33

Whist I get that sometimes it feels a chore, It would be a very crappy world if nobody ever put themselves out for their loved ones to bring them a little joy.

PortiasBiscuit · 08/12/2024 10:31

Human existence is about obligation.