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Original poster

To think that two grown men could have decided this...?

115 replies

5FootMama · 07/12/2024 21:26

So, in the throes of a class party at soft play where I was trying to both sort the table for the cake and deal with the small child having a meltdown. I tell the husband, he needs to sort the cake and the candles. He looks clueless. I just say "put the candles in the cake, bring it here for lighting" he goes with another dad. He comes back "where are the candles?" .... "In the bag next to the cake".... Come back "wheres the lighter? ... "In the same bag... Just look"

I have a clingy limpet child in the verge of tears, whilst I'm sorting the table out, and 2 minutes later the men both come traipsing back saying "we need you for the cake there's a problem"

Brilliant 🙄 I go back to cake to find out the issue, thinking it's been dropped or some kid has stuck their hand in it or something..

No. No... THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE ON THE CAKE TO PUT THE FUCKING CANDLES.

Two grown men needed to have me decide where to put 4 candles on a rectangular cake...

OP posts:
TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 07/12/2024 23:02

MuggleMe · 07/12/2024 22:55

The problem is there is no 'right' answer, so although they are capable of deciding, they were worried where they decided would be different to where you would have put them. And as you delegated the task, they would be wrong. A quick 'stick them wherever you think looks best' might have given the confidence to decide for themselves (and yes isn't needed but I'm one to restack the dishwasher so I do need to check myself sometimes).

Not finding the candles or lighter is pathetic.

This is bollocks

Grown men don't need permission to decide where to put candles. It was deliberate incompetence, part of a long-term strategy to avoid being asked to do anything in future.

MuggleMe · 07/12/2024 22:55

The problem is there is no 'right' answer, so although they are capable of deciding, they were worried where they decided would be different to where you would have put them. And as you delegated the task, they would be wrong. A quick 'stick them wherever you think looks best' might have given the confidence to decide for themselves (and yes isn't needed but I'm one to restack the dishwasher so I do need to check myself sometimes).

Not finding the candles or lighter is pathetic.

LoremIpsumCici · 07/12/2024 22:49

I think in that scenario I would have handed the dads the kid and done the cake.

Allthehorsesintheworld · 07/12/2024 22:47

I always think if they’re this clueless over something as simple as a cake and candles How would they be in a serious situation, someone stops breathing, child choking, house fire. Would he be capable then?

SmudgeButt · 07/12/2024 22:46

Perfect candidate for parliament. Sounds just like who we need to lead the country!!!!

Sonowimbackfromouterspace · 07/12/2024 22:44

Two grown men needed to have me decide where to put 4 candles on a rectangular cake...

To be fair though, I got anxious just by reading your post 😂I could well imagine both of them thinking that no matter where they placed the candles, it wouldn't have been to your liking. I suspect this, because you sound just like me. In quieter moments I can actually be found rocking back & forth in a chair, cringing about the way I speak to my husband at times & making him feeling like he's walking on egg shells. 😁😱😆

JaneJeffer · 07/12/2024 22:43

What was the language? Give us a clue

thequeenoftarts · 07/12/2024 22:40

I'm starting to think we should do interviews and trial tests with men before we venture into a relationship with them lol.

ChubbyMorticia · 07/12/2024 22:34

I’d have offered to show them EXACTLY where the candles should go, each one more painful than the last, especially when lit.

I’m an author. I’ve done the research 😈

NannyGythaOgg · 07/12/2024 22:24

Fucking pathetic

NautilusLionfish · 07/12/2024 22:12

Reminds me. I recently went to a baby shower. About 7 or 8 of us. Lovely time. Except for about 4 women, the hubbies kept calling ask for thsi and that. Telling their partners child x was crying what to do. The women were a bit annoyed but also thought it was funny and cute. I just thought for f's sake let them get on with it. It's 2 to 3 hours absence and they cant cope. Switch off the phones and enjoy. The kids will survive.
A friend of mine advised me when i was about to give birth - first baby: the first time you go out Nautilus, dont text ot call to check how he is coping. I have learned that he and the kids will be ok and he has learned not to pull the am a helpless man card.
Some men!!!

NautilusLionfish · 07/12/2024 22:07

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 07/12/2024 21:27

I would have told them where to stick the candles ...🤣

That was my first thought. But I wonder if any of them would be able to find it without help

KangaRoo00 · 07/12/2024 22:05

Should have told them to place one in each of their ears, there should be enough air in both of their heads to keep the candle flames alight

Plastictrees · 07/12/2024 22:04

Weaponised incompetence strikes again.

DreamW3aver · 07/12/2024 22:00

Nikitaspearlearring · 07/12/2024 21:50

That's hilarious! DH is very clever and would be exactly the same - totally clueless. But they are like it because their mums, and then their partners, enable them. Hopefully we are raising our sons to think for themselves.

I would t describe pathetic incompetence as hilarious, I'd be embarrassed for them being so useless

Ppzd · 07/12/2024 22:00

I would have wanted to say, like I do with my kid, "mmh, good question. Where do you think they should go?" while rubbing my chin, looking at the cake.

TrippTover · 07/12/2024 21:58

Jesus Christ that is so off putting. How pathetic.

Littlejellyuk · 07/12/2024 21:58

5FootMama · 07/12/2024 21:26

So, in the throes of a class party at soft play where I was trying to both sort the table for the cake and deal with the small child having a meltdown. I tell the husband, he needs to sort the cake and the candles. He looks clueless. I just say "put the candles in the cake, bring it here for lighting" he goes with another dad. He comes back "where are the candles?" .... "In the bag next to the cake".... Come back "wheres the lighter? ... "In the same bag... Just look"

I have a clingy limpet child in the verge of tears, whilst I'm sorting the table out, and 2 minutes later the men both come traipsing back saying "we need you for the cake there's a problem"

Brilliant 🙄 I go back to cake to find out the issue, thinking it's been dropped or some kid has stuck their hand in it or something..

No. No... THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE ON THE CAKE TO PUT THE FUCKING CANDLES.

Two grown men needed to have me decide where to put 4 candles on a rectangular cake...

I'm sorry but this has had me chuckling, because they are either very thick, or very sneaky. 4 candles on a cake. Omg I cannot stop laughing and this as if I didn't laugh then I would cry in frustration. I would have poked them both in the eyes with the candles 😆 🤣 😂

Onlyonekenobe · 07/12/2024 21:57

I don’t think I would have known how to answer that. I’m thinking about it now. “In the cake”? But they already know that. It’s literally a stupid question.

Kibble29 · 07/12/2024 21:56

To add to the above, my vag would seal itself shut after this scenario took place if I were you, OP.

Brefugee · 07/12/2024 21:55

weefella · 07/12/2024 21:53

So if a man is "clueless" then it's the fault of the women?

Show quote history

it is so tedious.

OP in your shoes i would have handed over limpet child and gone somewhere for a coffee on my own

allthatfalafel · 07/12/2024 21:55

Ugh, who is still putting candles on children's cakes? I thought that ended after covid. It's disgusting when they blow their germy spit all over it and everyone has to eat it.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 07/12/2024 21:54

It's called weaponised incompetence. It's deliberate.

FOJN · 07/12/2024 21:54

I couldn't view them with anything but contempt. It's frightening that men still hold so many positions of power and influence in society when too many exhibit this level of incompetence.

SaagAloopa · 07/12/2024 21:54

Nikitaspearlearring · 07/12/2024 21:50

That's hilarious! DH is very clever and would be exactly the same - totally clueless. But they are like it because their mums, and then their partners, enable them. Hopefully we are raising our sons to think for themselves.

It's not hilarious. It's absolutely depressing.