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Original poster

To think that two grown men could have decided this...?

115 replies

5FootMama · 07/12/2024 21:26

So, in the throes of a class party at soft play where I was trying to both sort the table for the cake and deal with the small child having a meltdown. I tell the husband, he needs to sort the cake and the candles. He looks clueless. I just say "put the candles in the cake, bring it here for lighting" he goes with another dad. He comes back "where are the candles?" .... "In the bag next to the cake".... Come back "wheres the lighter? ... "In the same bag... Just look"

I have a clingy limpet child in the verge of tears, whilst I'm sorting the table out, and 2 minutes later the men both come traipsing back saying "we need you for the cake there's a problem"

Brilliant 🙄 I go back to cake to find out the issue, thinking it's been dropped or some kid has stuck their hand in it or something..

No. No... THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE ON THE CAKE TO PUT THE FUCKING CANDLES.

Two grown men needed to have me decide where to put 4 candles on a rectangular cake...

OP posts:
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ItsVeryComplicated · 10/12/2024 23:57

Can you say to them "just put them in the top, you enormous idiots, and then light them on fire". That way, at least they will know next time.

Minc · 10/12/2024 23:52

For future reference, the answer is:

One in each hole.

JHound · 10/12/2024 17:25

They sound pathetic tbh.

I genuinely don’t find weaponised incompetence funny and think it is incredibly selfish behaviour.

Trishthedish · 10/12/2024 17:08

Weaponised incompetence or just wankpuffins. Enough to drive you to drink.

FeetLikeFlippers · 10/12/2024 15:09

You’re lucky you didn’t find the cake with fork handles sticking out of it.

Darlingx · 10/12/2024 10:03

Has anyone seen
‘ Some Mother’s do have em’ 70s sitcom Oh betty !
on my more frustrated days I would forward to MIL but she knows she spoilt him and I know its weaponised incompetence thats deeply ingrained subconsciously or he is a sandwich short

To think that two grown men could have decided this...?
RishiSunak · 10/12/2024 08:49

Should it be something like this?

To think that two grown men could have decided this...?
Treesandsheepeverywhere · 10/12/2024 08:01

Ukrainebaby23 · 09/12/2024 21:52

Ew soft play, chock full of sticky germs, but little dude loves it so we go. Candles, we put them on, sing (very germy) and then take them off. I don't like flames lol.

Show quote history

So you make his birthday more about you... poor "little dude" doesn't get to blow his birthday candles.

Ukrainebaby23 · 09/12/2024 21:52

5FootMama · 08/12/2024 12:33

I think it's bananas that people are " ewww germs" over blowing out candles on a cake... But no qualms over 40+ gerny kids in close contact in a soft play

Ew soft play, chock full of sticky germs, but little dude loves it so we go. Candles, we put them on, sing (very germy) and then take them off. I don't like flames lol.

Suzie20 · 09/12/2024 20:33

I haven't read the whole thread. I just want to say that all I could visualise was two men with fork handles, looking at a cake and scratching their heads.

Codlingmoths · 09/12/2024 20:32

Rockchicknana · 09/12/2024 20:24

I think we need a picture of the cake! Was it in the shape of an animal or something or a normal flat topped cake? I'm not defending the idiots - I'm just picturing them trying to decide which part of Pepper Pig's anatomy to shove a candle!! 🤣

It’s a rectangl, I can’t even with the incompetence of these men!

Codlingmoths · 09/12/2024 20:32

im team op, i say crisply imagine you’re on an away day at work and this is your team building exercise, you have 3 minutes- 45 seconds per candle. GO. I have confidence two grown men can work out how to put candles in a cake. (Say it loudly)

Rockchicknana · 09/12/2024 20:24

I think we need a picture of the cake! Was it in the shape of an animal or something or a normal flat topped cake? I'm not defending the idiots - I'm just picturing them trying to decide which part of Pepper Pig's anatomy to shove a candle!! 🤣

TexaSun · 09/12/2024 20:23

5FootMama · 07/12/2024 21:26

So, in the throes of a class party at soft play where I was trying to both sort the table for the cake and deal with the small child having a meltdown. I tell the husband, he needs to sort the cake and the candles. He looks clueless. I just say "put the candles in the cake, bring it here for lighting" he goes with another dad. He comes back "where are the candles?" .... "In the bag next to the cake".... Come back "wheres the lighter? ... "In the same bag... Just look"

I have a clingy limpet child in the verge of tears, whilst I'm sorting the table out, and 2 minutes later the men both come traipsing back saying "we need you for the cake there's a problem"

Brilliant 🙄 I go back to cake to find out the issue, thinking it's been dropped or some kid has stuck their hand in it or something..

No. No... THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE ON THE CAKE TO PUT THE FUCKING CANDLES.

Two grown men needed to have me decide where to put 4 candles on a rectangular cake...

😂I needed a laugh today! I know you must have been stressed, but what a laugh you must be having today thinking about the pair of them.

Ladymeade · 09/12/2024 19:51

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 07/12/2024 21:45

Why are people still finding this an acceptable word to use in 2024?

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I'm intrigued... what word? Please would you give me a clue? 😊

CalmBalonz · 09/12/2024 19:16

He is a fucking idiot

Sonowimbackfromouterspace · 08/12/2024 18:23

5FootMama · 08/12/2024 18:21

Well maybe it was the final straw of incompetence that got to me.

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Hopefully you're over it now.

Original poster
5FootMama · 08/12/2024 18:21

Sonowimbackfromouterspace · 08/12/2024 13:01

Most of your original post made you sound like a coiled spring about to take off...that's how it came over to me, and your replies to me aren't diminishing that illusion either. 😂

Show quote history

Well maybe it was the final straw of incompetence that got to me.

OP posts:
LovesCompany · 08/12/2024 14:11

Do these men have jobs or hobbies that require decision making ?

ohyesido · 08/12/2024 14:08

Oh dear. Imagine their poor wives having to sleep with these clowns and pretend to to enjoy it

FuckItItsFine · 08/12/2024 13:05

Is “candles on cakes are disgusting” the new “people who don’t shower three times a day are grim” and “I change my bedsheets nightly or I don’t feel clean”?

Sonowimbackfromouterspace · 08/12/2024 13:01

5FootMama · 08/12/2024 12:17

What did I write that makes me sound like I care where candles go on a cake?

I'll wait...

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Most of your original post made you sound like a coiled spring about to take off...that's how it came over to me, and your replies to me aren't diminishing that illusion either. 😂

RubicsQuandary · 08/12/2024 12:42

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 07/12/2024 21:54

Just on the flip side of this though....I am a capable woman - until it comes to either placing candles on my child's birthday cake or cutting it 🤣
I will call my sister in for her opinion every single time

Ha ha! That’s me too. My DH knows the cake cutting is his responsibility at all of our kids parties. Now the kids are older, I get them to do it themselves 😂.

Original poster
5FootMama · 08/12/2024 12:33

I think it's bananas that people are " ewww germs" over blowing out candles on a cake... But no qualms over 40+ gerny kids in close contact in a soft play

OP posts:
Nikitaspearlearring · 08/12/2024 12:25

vtrdcat · 08/12/2024 08:11

I’m not in the UK, but it wouldn’t occur to most people here to put candles on the cake, spit on it and expect other people to eat it. That ended many years ago.

If you want candles you use a candle snuffer.

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But how will their birthday wish come true?
Blowing out the candles in one go is part of the ritual of having a birthday cake, and a big part of the fun.

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