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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU? R.E Birthday Presents

33 replies

MyThreeLittleLoves · 07/12/2024 20:56

Good Evening

I am going to try my best to keep this as short as possible.

My son is 3 at the end of the month, he has always preferred toys that are aimed more towards girls.

Just to name a few things, Sylvanian Families, Moana, Dolls House, Jelly Cat soft toys etc.

He doesn’t like the usual, Spider-Man, Cars etc.

My husband and I took a trip to smyths today to choose his birthday presents, so obviously I’ve chosen the things that I know he likes, I tried my best to not pick up anything “too girly” even though I have no issue with my son playing with girls toys, and I’d never stop him.

So, when I was putting the toys in the trolley my husband said “who are they for? who are we shopping for?” I simply said to him, I am buying our son, I know he would like and wants, only for him to reply “he’s not having those toys, he is not a girl he is getting older now, it’s not happening”

So I was basically forced to buy him boys toys, I have already done the boys Christmas shopping and I have also bought him toys that I know he’d like.

I want to donate the toys we bought today to children that would probably not get a gift this year. And I have been online and I’ve put the toys in my basket that I know our son would prefer.

Do you think I am being unreasonable? I just want our son to be happy when he sees his gifts, and bearing in mind he will not open them on his birthday as we’ll be away on holiday, and I know it would be nice for him to come home to more surprises.

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 07/12/2024 21:30

Surely he can just have different toys to play with. There aren't girl toys and boy toys. Just toys.

Buy him some toys for his birthday and then two weeks later for Christmas buy him some other toys.

How many toys are you buying him?

Bubobubo · 07/12/2024 21:24

Show him this.

AIBU? R.E Birthday Presents
TheGirlWhoLived · 07/12/2024 21:10

I think children should play with the toys they like but there’s a difference between buying the ‘aimed at girls’ versions and ‘aimed at boys’ version.

So sylvanians are animals in houses right, you don’t necessarily NEED to buy sylvanians in dresses getting married (although you absolutely could if that’s what he specifically wants!)

There are Jellycat dragons and Jellycat fairies, moana has boat toys as well as a necklace with the heart of tefiti, iyswim?

I’d maybe question your DH about what about a boy playing with animals, houses, boats and dragons is wrong. Or even a boy playing with dolls and babies… emulating his dad having baby’s and keeping house

MoggyP · 07/12/2024 21:06

Agree with PP

One thing from you, one thing from DH.

One that's a sure fire to be liked, one which will be something new to him.

Don't get more than that. If you're concerned about DC who have less, have a clear out of your DC's older toys that he no longer likes, and donate all those that are still in good condition.

And have a hard think about whether you really felt forced by your DH, or if you are writing for effect. It's hard to tell if he was being overly forceful, or if you're indulging in a fit of the martyrs

Ponderingwindow · 07/12/2024 21:03

give your child the toys he will enjoy. have a serious conversation with your husband that you will be calling out his sexism in front of the children if he tries to shame any of your children for not conforming to gendered expectations.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/12/2024 21:02

Your husband sounds like he doesn’t know your child at all.

I buy my children a range of things I think they’ll enjoy. Some firm favourites but also some new things to try. I wouldn’t waste money on things I know they won’t like.

My DS is only 8mo but he will play with the toys we already have here from his two older sisters. They were bought a wide range of toys regardless of any advertising of which sex they are aimed at.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 07/12/2024 21:01

So,,,,, everything you bought and paid for in Smyths was purely to pacify your DH and you're going to give it all away and replace everything?

Your problem is your marriage.

LemonyChicken · 07/12/2024 20:58

How many gifts are you buying? Why doesn't he buy a gift and you buy one?