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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want anymore pre-christmas catch ups?

33 replies

SunQueen24 · 07/12/2024 19:40

Just that really, I have an urge to hibernate until spring. I have been on atleast 4 Christmas meets now - evening dinners and everytime would really rather stay home. I do like to be sociable, but this time of year just feels so busy, rushed and pressured. I have young DC and am working, juggling children’s Christmas commitments and shuffling my hours around to make school mince pie sales, two nativities or whatever else.

From 4pm I just want to put on my PJ’s/lounge wear and hunker down. I don’t want to juggle childcare and arrange a sitter and I’m happy with eating with the kids.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful, I’m fortunate to have several friendship groups. I’m just worn out! I’ve had another message today to agree a date before Christmas - bah humbug!

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skyfly · 07/12/2024 20:47

I have decided this year to be kind to myself and not to get into mad December rush. There is absolutely no need to see and meet everyone before Christmas. it is much better see people in January and throughout the year without a pressure. I feel like every year Christmas time becomes more and more stressful while all I really need is quiet time with my kids/family. Most people feel exhausted and just forcing themselves to comply to social norms and it’s not that enjoyable anyway. While when everyone is relaxed, conversations flow more naturally and deeply. I start to prioritise quality of interaction over quantity

NarnianQueen · 07/12/2024 20:39

I hate the fact everyone treats Christmas as some sort of deadline - "we must meet before Christmas!" WHY? I'd the world coming to an end on Boxing Day?

I'd much rather do cheat stuff with the family (not to mention all the shopping, cooking) before Christmas then book all the fun meet ups for January, as pp have said that's when all the excitement's over.

BESTAUNTB · 07/12/2024 20:38

I’m doing brunch with a couple of groups. The only “nights out” are with old school friends and colleagues.

Suzuki76 · 07/12/2024 20:38

Yes! My brain is full now until the 25th. We've had our work do each, DS's nativity has been and gone and I have been to our annual 2 day conference. I want to spend the rest of the month (when not at work) either watching all the series we have missed this year or getting shit done like wrapping, laundry, clearing out old toys. Not going out on a rainy Wednesday for pizza.

BusySittingDown · 07/12/2024 20:34

@SunQueen24 oh I am a massive introvert. I love being in company but I find as I'm getting older that I'm needing lots more time to recover in between. I'm getting worse as I get older.

I'm on the road to being a very grumpy, old woman. 😂 I feel like I need to nip it in the bud a bit, otherwise I fear that I'll end up being grumpy, old and very lonely because I'll just stop seeing people altogether.

HoundsMamma · 07/12/2024 20:34

Totally with you! I’m refusing to put anything else in the diary this December now, especially with the dark short days and lousy weather. Hibernation mode certainly kicks in by 7pm! PJs on!! 😂 Everywhere is so mind bogglingly busy in December too!

SunQueen24 · 07/12/2024 20:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

I really am and I know that. I moan to DH but do also acknowledge there’s worse problems to have. That’s why I feel guilty, my friends are so wonderful and generally aware that I’m the one who struggles the most with childcare and so always accommodating of me.

DH is the opposite of me. He has his work Christmas do and that’s it. He always asks what on earth I have left to talk about 🤣

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SunQueen24 · 07/12/2024 20:30

WeGoSlow · 07/12/2024 20:29

I agree! Everyone wants to catch up before Christmas and it's exhausting, especially coupled with the mental and physical load of preparing to host Christmas, on top of all the usual day to day commitments of work and family.

I was so relieved that today's Christmas socialising was postponed due to the storm.

Just that! I remember pre kids being out nearly every night in the run up to Christmas. I just can’t anymore!!

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Sunnyplain · 07/12/2024 20:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

WeGoSlow · 07/12/2024 20:29

I agree! Everyone wants to catch up before Christmas and it's exhausting, especially coupled with the mental and physical load of preparing to host Christmas, on top of all the usual day to day commitments of work and family.

I was so relieved that today's Christmas socialising was postponed due to the storm.

SunQueen24 · 07/12/2024 20:26

@BusySittingDown apt username! But exactly! I love my friends dearly. I’m an extrovert introvert I think 🤣 I keep saying ti DH WhatsApp during the day are perfect!

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Depositless · 07/12/2024 20:25

YANBU

I’m getting quite a few “ we must meet up before Christmas”.

Sorry, but I’m up to my neck in it with Dc coming home from Uni, working loads over Christmas, going away for 3 days and dealing with elderly relatives. I’ve got a few things booked in, but now I’m saying NO to everything else.

I’m booked out until Jan -sorry!

SunQueen24 · 07/12/2024 20:25

@Truetoself the first group has several branches, so I’ve been to two meals now because I fall in them all (different clubs/disciplines but I fall under them all).

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BusySittingDown · 07/12/2024 20:24

Same.

I just CBA with anyone this year 😂. It winds me up that family members that you see rarely throughout the year suddenly decide that they HAVE to see you because it's Christmas. Oh sod off, you've not bothered for about 6 months, why do I have to see you now?

And yes, I know I sound like a mardy cow and you're probably thinking "well, it's no wonder that they haven't bothered for 6 months, you miserable bitch!" But obviously I don't give out this impression. I'm sweetness and light to their faces. I just seethe inwardly.

I just want to be on the sofa watching cheesy movies in my oodie.

Createausername1970 · 07/12/2024 20:23

I know what you mean.

Remember this for next year, and you start the conversation about getting together and arranging it for end November.

stargirl1701 · 07/12/2024 20:21

I agree. I would far rather catch up in Jan than Dec.

SunQueen24 · 07/12/2024 20:21

Truetoself · 07/12/2024 20:17

@SunQueen24 interested to know how yoi have cultivated different friendship groups that all wanna spend time with you before Christmas

One group are friends from a hobby that I have done all my life and is very involved have accumulated friends along the way so some very old friendships, one group is people I met at the outset of my career and have maintained a friendship with (I’d say these are some of my closest friends), a group of friends from school who I grew up with and remain close with, current work colleagues and a group from a different hobby taken up in the last three years. The latter two being the least close. But the last one I see the most of - 3x plus a week!

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Truetoself · 07/12/2024 20:17

@SunQueen24 interested to know how yoi have cultivated different friendship groups that all wanna spend time with you before Christmas

Londoneye20 · 07/12/2024 20:13

cigarettesNalcohol · 07/12/2024 19:55

Who is asking for a pre Xmas catch up on the 07th of December?! Talk about leaving it until the last minute. I'd definitely decline.

What?

Reversetail · 07/12/2024 20:06

You do sound ungrateful though, just say no.

coverp · 07/12/2024 19:56

I have been refusing to do anything midweek. Work is busy before year-end and I'm missing plenty for nativities too. Friday and Saturday people are welcome to come to me and I'll provide dinner. I have a 7mo so can just about get away with it!

cigarettesNalcohol · 07/12/2024 19:55

Who is asking for a pre Xmas catch up on the 07th of December?! Talk about leaving it until the last minute. I'd definitely decline.

Beaverbridge · 07/12/2024 19:55

I hear you as the youngsters say. Between catch ups and grandkids pantos and dance shows, nativity shows I'm burnt out. Shows were magical though.

SunQueen24 · 07/12/2024 19:53

@evtheria that’s what I’ll do, thank you.

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Itsannamay · 07/12/2024 19:53

I love having Christmas meets in Jan and Feb, if that works out (ie. Just meeting one person, or if the group is happy with that). Dec is so busy

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