DP's mum pointed out lack of acknowledgement - feeling embarrassed and uncared for

Indeed.

Get outta there. You are his unpaid childcare who also entertains his mum. Because he doesn’t seem interested in his responsibilities. Only himself and his hobby. And then instead of gratitude, it’s total disrespect.

you need to run a fucking mile right away

this won’t get better for you. You stand to be taken advantage of for the rest pf this relationship.

don’t tell him, just make plans and run.

"He now will make it a big deal that I’m offended"

And your sole reply can be "even your mum thought you were so rude it should be called out..."

It's also very telling that you already know, and expect, him to make a big deal of you being offended by him. Will he make a big deal about him being rude? I bet not.

You , sadly, are nothing more than the babysitter/housekeeper with benefits. Raise your bar.

I think the reason he didn't acknowledge you was that until recently it was his mum looking after his DD when he went to do his hobby. You were invisible.

I've been with my husband for 10 years. When he comes in from work, he greets me with a hug/kiss and lovely words, he then does the same with our son. He has been consistently this way since the start.
You deserve better.

“He now will make it a big deal that I’m offended” 🚩 🚩 🚩
He should also be spending time with his daughter. He’s showing you his priorities and a few years down the line you’d be looking after 2 or 3 children while he’s busy with his hobby.

The fact that you don't mind looking after her and she's lovely is irrelevant. If she is there for contact with her dad, then he should be there. It isn't about you. Fast-tracking your relationship with his daughter, does make it harder for you to walk away though.

First post nails it. This in spades. Ditch him.

Someone I worked with gave a colleague the best advice about relationships. She said,

'The beginning of a relationship is the best it will ever be. From those first few weeks, an editable pattern will set in, that as you become comfortable, the risk of taking each other for granted becomes real. If you are analysing your relationship, you should always consider that the risk of taking each other for granted increases the more times it happens. Each time you are taken for granted, you should think that this is the best my relationship will be because it will happen more and more in the future as those 'first love' feeling fade. You should ask yourself if you deserve that!'

I think you deserve better.

If it's a one off it doesn't terrible, he walked in and was distracted saying hello to his daughter and mum, and apologised for missing you. But if you're so upset, could it be the sum of other behaviours along with this one that you are really reacting to?

Oh Christ yeah, definitely don't get pregnant by him.

Or that'll be two kids less important than his hobby.

He's no keeper, even his Mam has noticed.

He should be looking after his daughter, not you.

@CheeryPlum it does sound like I'm being mean but as you've seen it's for a good reason. @stormyscotts I've read so many posts on the Step parenting board where women think they're being kind looking after their partners children and don't work out until too late that he doesn't appreciate it, he thinks it's a woman's job to make his life easier. I don't mean you can't be kind to his DD, I mean that you need to stand back a bit and look at this objectively- he gets moody and doesn't like to be challenged so you're making his life easier but what is he doing for you?

As a one-off it's not necessarily the end but I'd be evaluating how the behaviour fits in more broadly. He needs to really value you and show you that through gestures like attention, checking on you, making cups of tea, buying food he thinks you'll like. If he's not doing that, I'd leave him for someone who really wants to be with you and clearly counts himself lucky to have you.

Dump him.

Keep his mum!!!!

Seriously though. Agree with others. 3
Months in and he's treating you like a given. You should still be in the honeymoon stage.

If his dd is such a joy and so easy why the hell isn’t he doing it?

if he doesn’t have his dd full time why can’t he do his hobby when she’s with her mom?

So he’s a lazy parent, rude to you, is moody and difficult. I think you d made a mistake with this one op.

You're the unpaid nanny-housekeeper he gets to shag.
Don't get pregnant by him.

YANBU

But I'd be suspicious of such a fast mover anyway.

Didn't take him long to acquire a live-in babysitter, did it?

I expect he also gets the cooking and cleaning thrown in?

He introduced you to his daughter far too early. He had you move in with him far too early. He's using you for free childcare. He's shown you who he is. Don't waste your time on someone like this.

This response from him is arguably as bad as his behaviour in the first place. This man is a user and a waste of space. Gather your self worth and leave.

We teach people how to treat us.

You have moved in with a rude, moody man who is so confident of you he treats you rudely in front of family.

You are now the help, his au pair.
Big mistake on your part.

In your place I would be organising to move out.
Stay, and this is your life.

Self esteem and self respect is what stops other women ending up with men like this.
Perhaps look at yours.
Not having either means you are vulnerable to prickish men.

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk is a good place to start.

Reading books like
"Women who love too much"
"Why does he do that?"

You deserve better.
You just need to believe it.

Also can’t believe he’s heading out to do a hobby rather than be with his daughter.

How much contact time does he have? If he only sees her 2 days a week then it's absolutely atrocious that he's going off to do his hobby.
It's not about whether you mind OP.
He is sending out some clear signals here.

We all set our own boundaries and yours are clearly different to mine. When my dh steps through the door he acknowledges all of us and i'll stop what I'm doing to turn round for a quick kiss or shout hello from upstairs. To me it's a sign of basic respect. When I get in from work, dh does the same and we model that for our children.

You've only lived with him 3 months op and he's started showing so little effort already. Have a word with yourself op, you can do better than this.