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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sent husband away whilst I’m in the pub

40 replies

ElleDeeCB · 07/12/2024 15:38

I’m sitting in a pub having a bite to eat for 90mins whilst my child is at an activity. I suggested to my DH he could come join me for a catch up and childfree time once he’d finished some work he needed to do. I arrived first and then 20mins later DH turned up in pub in his running gear, very sweaty and out of breath. He’d decided to run to the pub and stop off en route, incorporating it into his exercise regime. I quizzed him and said that I thought it was a bit strange to stop off in the pub like this. Honestly, I didn’t really want to sit next to him all sweaty on the seats like this. It’s not an especially fancy pub, but everyone is eating. He said he could just continue his run, and I said OK sure.

AIBU to have sent him on his way? I just felt it was a bit grim for me and the other punters for him to turn up like this, but I know he’ll sulk about it or say I’m being uptight.

OP posts:
Pompeyssy · 07/12/2024 16:22

Yanbu.
He should have more cop on to turn up in that state.
Ignore him if sulky.

So many sulky men on MN 🙄.

Anothernamechane · 07/12/2024 16:19

It wouldn't bother me until you said headband. Is he a 118 man? I've never seen anyone wearing a headband for running irl.

TTPDTS · 07/12/2024 16:12

I don't really see an issue with it - pubs are often stop offs for sweating runners / walkers / cyclists around me.

If you just off hand suggested to it (despite perhaps the child's activity being planned ahead of time?) then I don't really think he did anything wrong - he finished his work, was going to meet you and managed to fit some exercise in. In my opinion I think it was a bit rude to send him on his way!

But tbh it's not much of either side so as long as you're not going home to an odd atmosphere I'd just ignore it.

teatoast8 · 07/12/2024 16:06

Wouldn't of bothered me

xyz111 · 07/12/2024 16:05

Any man that wears a headband deserves to be sent away!!!

Onlycoffee · 07/12/2024 15:54

ElleDeeCB · 07/12/2024 15:49

No he’d not planned a run, I think he just decided he’d prefer to do that than meet me. This is fine, but I don’t want to have to put up with any sulking when I get home later - unless I deserve it!

Headband and all, sounds designed to make sure you turned him away. YANBU, and even if you were him sulking would be a right turn off anyway!
If he doesn't want to do something he needs to learn to tell you upfront.

ElleDeeCB · 07/12/2024 15:49

No he’d not planned a run, I think he just decided he’d prefer to do that than meet me. This is fine, but I don’t want to have to put up with any sulking when I get home later - unless I deserve it!

OP posts:
Nineandtwenty · 07/12/2024 15:48

I don't think I'm.particularly squeamish but I'm with you on this one. Men generally sweat quite a bit and combined with synthetic fabrics it's really not pleasant. If you complete some light exercise and are minimally sweaty then fine but if you have started to smell a bit you really shouldn't be in a pub till you've showered.

Onlycoffee · 07/12/2024 15:47

Was he being passive aggressive? Had he already planned a run and didn't want to upset you by telling you he couldn't come at short notice?

ElleDeeCB · 07/12/2024 15:46

If we were outside in a pub beer garden I’d not have minded so much. Obviously not the case today! But feels rude to me to turn up to a place serving food like this

OP posts:
ElleDeeCB · 07/12/2024 15:44

@Onthesideofthespiders yes he was quite sweaty, although harder to see as the clothing is dark. But obvious running gear, headband etc. If it was me I’d want to get right in the shower, not sit down on a leather/upholstered sofa.

OP posts:
EwwSprouts · 07/12/2024 15:44

He hasn't taken it as nice child free catch up. He's gone for I turned up so you weren't alone, take me as I am. I would have been disappointed. Sweaty, going smelly is not an attractive look in a pub.

Onthesideofthespiders · 07/12/2024 15:41

So… was he going to spend some time having a date with you? Or go running?

Seems a bit of a waste of a date chance without the kid really. And I wouldn’t have wanted to sit with him if he really was all sweaty and red etc. But was he actually? Were his clothes covered in sweat patches or are you being a little disingenuous about your description?

Spagettifunctional · 07/12/2024 15:40

Yeah I get it .. it’s off putting then you rang a nice drink but it’s like something my dh would do just to get his run in

dreamer24 · 07/12/2024 15:39

This wouldn't have bothered me.