to be too exhausted by training contract to have sex

OP it sounds as though this isn't just about the sex.
Do you need to re-evaluate your career pathway as you sound very unhappy? And then perhaps re-negotiate your relationship: ask your partner for what you specifically need to allow you to move forward. Life's too short for you to be this stressed.

Yup I went in house and have zero regrets.

OP, you’re not being unreasonable.

However, you do need to have a calm and frank discussion with your partner, one that doesn’t end up in an argument.

You need to be totally honest how you’re feeling at the moment. How much pressure you’re under and how exhausted you are. Any decent partner would already see this and want to support you.

If he can’t support you then it sounds like he’s not the one for you.

OP this is the beginning and your career is always going to look like this - so it’s a case of whether or not you and your partner are compatible with that in mind. It’s not a question anyone else can answer - because what is acceptable to you both in terms of how much priority you give to sex is personal to you both.

That is not true, you won’t qualify at that time, but can re-
take the SQE, you will have completed your QWE.

Eh - they will never make it to senior associate, if can’t cope as a trainee. In- house will be a better option.

I’m a partner at a city firm, I can absolutely confirm that work is going to get a hell of a lot harder post qualification (and then ‘easier’ when you’re in charge). The career or the bloke isn’t for you. How old are you?

While doing the SQE alongside work is hard….you are not respn for any of the work you do at the moment. Work will get a lot more stressful, consider things that may help you to de-
stress? Gym/ yoga/ Pilates. - even getting off train/ tube earlier to do a little walking, while you won’t feel like it - it’s likely you will feel better after.

Also be clever with how you use your leave for studying…..

the SQE apprenticeship route is dire, I hope you are not at a firm that will sack you if you fail it.

good luck!

It's why plenty of really bright and brilliant lawyers turn their back on city law. It's just so hideously unhealthy as a lifestyle

Either you and your partner need to accept that this is what the next decade or two will be like, or decide your expectations are incompatible.

His behaviour isn't ok but fundamentally right now you don't have time for a relationship

You're entitled to not want sex, but he's entitled to want sex in a relationship (want - not necessarily get).

I'd think about how your response to stress is affecting your realtionship, though. How much does he do around the house? Is he generally supportive and helpful?

It is right in many cases. As I said, it isn’t for everyone. You can either roll with it and enjoy your life alongside the job or maybe another way of practising the law is better rather than city private practice. If someone is incredibly stressed as a trainee when you have zero responsibility for anything how will you cope as a senior associate and beyond?

What she’s said isn’t right.

He wants you to have sex when you don’t want to? And he sulks and moans when you don’t do what he wants sexually? You know what that is don’t you?

And you don’t have to explain to us or him or anyone at length why you don’t want to. Just “I don’t want to” is enough.

She’s right though. It’s not for everyone.

it doesn’t sound like he’s supporting your career, so not a “DP”.

do you have kids?

I would stop digging if I were you.

To clarify what I said - this is the life that a city lawyer has, you're always knackered, stressed, busy, working late etc. You either incorporate your relationship into that lifestyle, or long term you risk losing it.

I'm not saying anything other than that.

Is DP doing his fair share of housework?

You sound depressed and burnt out to be honest. A good partner would be supporting you, not badgering you for a shag.

Your partner sounds awful.

How about he takes some of the load off you at home?Couldn't he wash up and do the shopping/cooking?

Perhaps if you felt more supported by him you would feel more like having sex with him.

It is never unreasonable to not want sex for any reason.

However maybe it was unreasonable to take this job and expect your relationship to stand the strain?

Your partner isn't unreasonable to want a partner.

Why are you only having one day off per week?

He's not a sex pest and you're not unreasonable. Nobody owes anyone a relationship. You have changed the terms of the relationship, so he might not be happy with it and leave. Depends on the other stuff.
He probably thinks that this is the new norm going forward (which may have some truth to it if you are going for partner).

If this was time limited I'd say YANBU. But what's the end point here? Do you see this as a temporary difficult period whilst you get the hang of things, or are you likely to be this burnt out for months/years to come?

It's never okay to hassle someone for sex and your DP isn't being a good person here, but equally if you have taken a job that means your relationship takes a back seat in the medium-to-long term you can't expect things to carry on the way they were before.