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Original poster

If you found a book with someone’s personal thoughts for the next few years

42 replies

Foundaplan · 07/12/2024 15:14

If you found a diary/booklet in the car with your partner’s written, private thoughts/hopes for the next few years would you read it without asking them?

Would you be upset if someone read your personal thoughts?

If someone found it is it your fault they read it because you didn’t hide it?

OP posts:
MerryLiftMass · 07/12/2024 16:06

Honestly I probably would have a little flick through, I would be very upset if someone did it to me. Yes hypocrite I know. I don’t keep a journal or diary for this reason.

MJconfessions · 07/12/2024 16:06

I’m not blaming anyone for anything here…but this is why I prefer digital content. I have private notes/journals on my phone which no one can access. These notes are hidden/password protected so even if someone knew my iPhone password, they couldn’t access the notes. I would just feel so violated if someone did this to me.

Birdscratch · 07/12/2024 16:03

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/12/2024 15:58

If I found a notebook in the car I’d not necessarily assume it was a private diary tbh. Yes, I’d probably flick through out of curiosity.

I’m guessing from the fact that you went to a workshop for writing down secret life plans and thoughts that you don’t want your partner to know about, your relationship isn’t particularly happy and you have a lot of problems. I can see why he’d take the opportunity to read what you’d written, to find out what’s going on in your head.

Edited

Wouldn’t you stop reading when you realised it was personal?

Flamez · 07/12/2024 16:02

I’d never ever read private letters/diary, when MIL died she had kept diaries and letters for years. I burnt them without looking. If someone wants you to read something it’s up to them it to you to read.

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/12/2024 15:58

If I found a notebook in the car I’d not necessarily assume it was a private diary tbh. Yes, I’d probably flick through out of curiosity.

I’m guessing from the fact that you went to a workshop for writing down secret life plans and thoughts that you don’t want your partner to know about, your relationship isn’t particularly happy and you have a lot of problems. I can see why he’d take the opportunity to read what you’d written, to find out what’s going on in your head.

PlumpPuddingLass · 07/12/2024 15:52

I wouldn't read it, I'd be upset and never feel safe around them. Trust broken forever. It's not my fault. I shouldn't need to hide my stuff I should feel safe and comfortable in my home (includes a shared car or a hotel room etc, basically any private location where we have exclusive access)

pizzaHeart · 07/12/2024 15:47

Was it obvious that it’s your private diary?

Flossflower · 07/12/2024 15:46

LisaD1 · 07/12/2024 15:37

My MIL once read my diary, I went absolutely nuts and she’s never had a key to our home since.

What!! Did you ask her why she thought she could read it. What did your OH say?

Birdscratch · 07/12/2024 15:45

The idea that it’s your fault because you didn’t hide it is so childish. It’s an attempt to put the responsibility for their behaviour onto you.

LisaD1 · 07/12/2024 15:37

My MIL once read my diary, I went absolutely nuts and she’s never had a key to our home since.

LostittoBostik · 07/12/2024 15:34

Foundaplan · 07/12/2024 15:31

I was at a workshop where we wrote our private plan for the next few years, totally private. My partner found it,
read it, I’m upset as it was private and they’re saying it’s my own fault as they found it.

You're perfectly within your right to be cross.

I'd be cross too - BUT I also know that I wouldn't have the self control not to read it myself if I was the one who found it. I know that's bad to admit.

Original poster
Foundaplan · 07/12/2024 15:31

I was at a workshop where we wrote our private plan for the next few years, totally private. My partner found it,
read it, I’m upset as it was private and they’re saying it’s my own fault as they found it.

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 07/12/2024 15:28

No, yes, no as per @FancyAReallyLongUsernameJustForAChange

HappiestSleeping · 07/12/2024 15:27

My guess is the other way around. The OP has found their partner's.

MounjaroUser · 07/12/2024 15:24

I'd be furious if someone read my diary. I wouldn't read someone else's either. I have cupboards full of my daughter's diaries upstairs and wouldn't dream of reading them.

Has your partner found your journal?

TotallyTwisted · 07/12/2024 15:22

Yes to all three questions!

FancyAReallyLongUsernameJustForAChange · 07/12/2024 15:18

No, yes, no.