He says I love a painting more than him

He's not artistic.
He knows your ex understood your artistic side on a level he'll never reach.
He's jealous on that and is being insecure about it.

He really needs to get over his insecurity and jealousy. I wouldn't find that attractive.

Has he recently moved into your house? Abuse and controlling behaviour usually starts after life changing events, such as pregnancy or moving in together. He's trying to stamp his mark/authority on you.

I have a painting my exdh gave me and it's been in the bathroom of the house I bought with my current dh for about 10 years now. My dh even hung it for me.

I think it would be a hill I'd die on tbh, especially as he's now using the silent treatment to punish you for not obeying him straight away

get rid of him, not the painting. Ok well maybe not that extreme, but he’s being ridiculous. It’s just a painting. If you like it then you should keep it.

He has his office - his. His kids' room - his. You share a bedroom - yours (shared). A living room - yours (shared) and he wants to dictate what that looks like.

Do you have space of your own in your house? Do you have kids?

I wonder if that’s not feeling great for him and those feelings have been narrowed down into this one painting.

Oh the irony of him being annoyed at you having a painting from your ex in your house while he brought the children he had with his ex into your house.

Well, he wasn't controlling, but he sure is now. He waited until he had his feet under the table before he pulled this stunt, b/c a disagreement like this, with him actually living on the premises, could be really tiresome. Ideally, you would have tested the water by telling him 'no' half a dozen times before he moved in, but what's done is done. Now you know how silly and manipulative he is, he probably won't seem as attractive as he did; a whining, petulant man does dry the vagina. All the best for a better life.

Everyone here thinks OP should pack her bags and van gogh because of a painting

If he can't cope with his jealousy over a painting then he's welcome to move back out and you'll continue to date.

He wouldn't deliberately damage it or anything would he?

Is this a joke? He sounds unhinged and use the word advisedly. Get rid.

There’s a lot of entitlement, as well as coercive control going on here. It’s not really about the painting. You’d do well to think about what many of us on here are saying, and look at the bigger picture. Your horrible feeling is not coming out of nowhere.

I realise it’s a lot to take in , and if his DC have their own room in your house that is an additional complication. Do think about though.

Well, unlike you, I haven’t assumed that I know what’s going on in his mind.

I’d remind you OP said he’s not jealous or controlling. I suspect she knows him a tad better than you do.

anyway, if I had to guess I’d say that it could be that the painting represents an important aspect of his partner’s life (great love of art) which she shared with her ex (also extremely arty) and which he cannot participate in (not arty at all). And it’s in his face every single day in the living room of what is now his home.

But because, unlike you, I’m not a mind-reader it’s only a guess. 🤷🏼‍♀️

So you’ve been together for 3 years and he’s now moved into your house and started to tell you what you can keep on display! Sounds like he’s got comfortable and thinks he can start moulding you to his satisfaction

Totally agree. I don’t think you need to ditch him just yet but it needs nipping in the bud. My DH tried similar about me going out for a meal with friends without running it past him first - WTF! I told him not to ever try to be so controlling again or that would be us over. In my DH case, he was horrendously abused by his parents so he had not little kinks that he needed to iron out but he always took responsibility for them and duly ironed them out!

It is also hard to move into someone else’s home and make it a joint home. Has any of his things have prominence in the house or has everything stayed the same as before he moved in?

This! Take this as a warning OP, it's only going to get worse! It's emotional blackmail AND controlling. Tell him that if that's his stance, then yes, you do prefer the painting to a controlling partner.

Is there a bit of male entitlement going on
Yes OP. Yes there is. Listen to your gut.

So you've been generous enough to make room for him and his children in your home and he's still trying to push for more accommodations and more control. That's really not good OP and would have me reconsidering the whole arrangement in your shoes.

@BeLimeTiger is there entitlement?? Oh HELL YES! Pages and pages of people telling you he’s got no business sulking cos you didn’t whip it off the wall immediately. I your house. That he moved into. Next thing he’ll be wanting on the deeds…and sulking if you say no. They say you see the real man when you say no. Maybe try it? After all you can always reverse it - you want to ruin our relationship over a painting in my house?!

I think he's being a bit OTT. It's presumably the piece of art that you like, not the sentimental value of it being from your ex.

"For some reason" is doing pretty heavy lifting here!

The "some reason" is jealousy, and territorial hackles going up at the thought of OP having previously been with another man. It's irrational and personally it's not a trait I want in a partner. I'd be happy to talk his feelings through, unpack where they came from (that'd be insecurity and social conditioning) but I wouldn't be taking the painting down.

There's a massive painting on our living room wall given to me by an ex. And a gorgeous vase on the bookshelf given to me by a different ex when we moved in together. My partner has no problem with either. I'd be surprised like you if he did. I'm with the majority of the posters; big old red flags here.

@BeLimeTiger but you shouldn't have to be on tiptoes about weird jealous things like that. He sounds very insecure. I don't think you deserve that. X