He says I love a painting more than him

It's not her DH I don't think? And very easy for him to say he'd do the same when he doesn't have to do anything. She's the one whose giving the most already and he's the one getting the most. She needn't sacrifice any more just to pass his pathetic test.

If you sold the painting I would bet a lot of money on it not stopping there. I think you’ve accommodated him very well so far and the picture is His issue, not yours.
My ex’s house was covered in art work from his marriage and it never occurred to me for one minute to suggest getting rid of anything ! I think he’s coming across as rude and entitled and not very bright.

PP makes a very good point. He has actual children who are living breathing evidence of his past relationship. And he's got the hump about a painting???

Looking at the bigger picture (no pun intended), you've massively accommodated him already, so it's pathetic for him to invoke the 'if you really loved me' line about this non-issue. You've already prioritised him in housing him and his DC and yet he still needs to mark his territory like this and throw a strop when he doesn't get his own way immediately. It's deeply unattractive.

Truest words....no man as in love as one that wants to move into your home, even more so when they have children to house🙄.
Of course it made sense🙄
He gets to house his child, and office for what? half a few bills...

Never fails to amaze me how many desperate women there are out there.

He's housed, his child is housed, he has an office and he still isn't happy.

Controlling, manipulative loser that is using you and your home.

Sulker as well🙄what a non prize.
Bet there are women queuing up for him.

Help him pack as things are clearly not working. See how he likes that.
Bet he back tracks, plays victim.
He won't want to lose his free housing.

Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. I think it's a very good idea for him to move out until he gets over himself.

I notice he can cope with living in a house that you shared with your ex, but is getting his knickers in a twist about a painting. What a loser.

Me too. Moves in, thinks he owns the place.

No, he lived in a rented flat so he’s saving a shedload of money by living in OP’s owned outright house. As a pp said There's no man so much in love as one that needs a home.. Now he’s got his feet under the table he’s starting to make demands. I’d be throwing this one back.

Yes I think this is partly 'I'm a man and I can't have things associated with another man in my house'....and also something about him feeling like he's moved into your house and possibly feeling emasculated by this. What's the situation? Did he sell his house to move in with you?

but honestly if you love him, I'd put him first

And so it begins......easing gently but steadily into the life of the controlled and the coerced

Boy oh boy, why are people so insecure??

Keep the painting. Hang it above your bed somewhere neutral.

Another vote for keeping the painting. But I'm biased as I have a painting that I love more than any other possession and would never get rid of it!

There's no man so much in love as one that needs a home.

I'm sorry, but this just sounds worse and worse. I'm sure there's romance in there somewhere, but he's moved into your house, and is gradually taking over the space and sulking when he doesn't get what he wants. It's easy to be charming when he hears yes. Now you're finding it how he behaves when you say no. Stand firm on the painting.

Is he making a fair contribution to the household finances? Housework? Still being affectionate now he's got a roof over his head?

I'll go against the grain here. I understand your dh and yes, would get rid of presents by exes. You say he would do the same and I'm sure he would.

It's a sacrifice to make but honestly if you love him, I'd put him first.

I do know someone who moved in to the home her know long time spouse had bought with his ex and she had a very hard time with it. It was a mistake and they ended up moving. Their relationship was very much not. Considering the size of the painting, I can see how it might be a kind of an overbearing/oppressive reminder of your ex's taste. It's not like a chair or a sofa that blends into the background, it's more personal.

Yes, don't buy property with him or marry him or mix your money. He seems very entitled.

I did have a print from my ex and I decided I didn't want to be reminded of him. My husband didn't mind. I donated it to charity and my husband and I chose a replacement together.

My husband's ex was an amateur artist and he rehomed her (quite awful in my view) paintings. It was our joint home as well rather than me being a guest in his house though. Yours sounds like a lovely piece though.

It's a painting, but there are insecure women who have issues who would think this was wrong if it is the other way round

This is YOUR house. He thinks he can move in and start dictating what you hang on your walls. And then give you the silent treatment because you don't instantly obey him !!

Pack his bags and dump him and them on the pavement. He is a controlling weirdo and will get worse. Get rid, asap.

Sod that. In our house I have things including art given to me by exes, things I bought with my ex and we also have things my DH bought with his ex. Including art. They are lovely things - yes, they have history but don't we all? You can't airbrush the past and why would you want to? Apart from installing his two kids has he really not brought anything into your house given to him by an ex? He sounds like a proper CF, to the extent that I hope you have arrangements in place to stop him making any sort of claim on your property if you were to break up.

It's your house where he has seemingly taken over the "study" and moved his two children into the spare bedroom. All the furniture is yours. When is he going to start complaining that your child is an unfortunate reminder of his father and they have to be got rid of? I think you have moved a cuckoo into the nest. Does he have any money or another house of his own? How do you split household expenses? I am betting he is not dipping his hand too deeply into his pocket. How does he even know the provenance of the painting?

You’ll regret it being out of your life if you sell it. I might understand if your ex had painted it but the reality is that he was just a middle man.

I can’t agree with this, sorry. I love material things. I’m not massively sentimental. I just love certain beautiful things. I love my sofa. I love my trainers. I love my favourite cushion. I love a necklace. I love all manner of random things. Don’t give a shit how I acquired them. It’s not about that. Not for me. I just have a love of some of my things. They have meaning to me because they are aesthetically pleasing. Or comfortable. Or familiar. Or whatever. Does it even matter?! If your partner loves an item then you put up with it (unless it is my DP’s arm chair. Which is the most hideous piece of furniture known to man! And I am subtly (not at all subtly) trying to explain why the ugliest chair in the world would look better in a skip!! But that is because it is ugly and huge and smells weird. Not because I’ve decided that it represents a latent longing to reignite his past love! I’m just not that insecure). If one of the things I loved happened to have been given by an ex and my current DP had a problem with that, to the point of sulking if I didn’t get rid of it, I’d have a big problem with that. My lovely things are mine. No one tells me what I can and can’t have. The sulking and emotional blackmail is really off key. I suspect there will be many more red flags. A fragile ego isn’t easily appeased. The painting isn’t the issue here… OP please don’t get rid of something you love to appease an insecure
man.

He’s being pathetic. The sulking and not talking would give me the ick. Keep the painting.

@BeLimeTiger It’s really important to be very, very firm and clear now and state your boundaries.

”I’ve thought about this and I won’t be removing my painting. If this is a deal breaker for you, then we need to have a discussion about how that affects our relationship because I will not be changing my mind.”

I wonder if this is more the tip of the cocklodging iceberg and he wants you to buy a new bigger house for you all?
One where you didn't live with an ex.
One where he gets to live in a lovely big home paid for by you

But he's moved into your house?
You've accommodated him WFH & his children?
But he won't accommodate a painting which was already there, in your house, before he took over?

That's quite worrying.

He must be feeling like he's got his legs (& his kids legs) under the table and you won't be able to push back on him asserting his dominance in your home.

I get that it's his home too, and yes, relocate the painting somewhere else in the house and redecorate/refurbish together so it feels like a positive new era, but he doesn't sound like he's wanting collaboration, more a coup.

Does he want you to relocate a new hymen too? I mean he's had kids so he must have had a relationship before you, but he doesn't think you should have?