He says I love a painting more than him

He sounds insecure tell him to build a bridge and walk over it put the painting back up don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't have in YOIR own house

I can't help but wonder if he told you that it was because he loved you so much? Very strange though that only the baby photos upset him and not your actual son?! 🙄

Excellent advice but after she has done that he still behaves like the petulant 6 year old stamping his feet in the playground then it's not just the painting 'on the wall' and the OP needs to run for the hills!! 🙄😱

I would say it's a pivotal point.

An ex made me send my son's baby photo album to a friend because he 'didnt like the idea that (I'd) had sex with another man'.

It starts here OP.

This is the level of petty I aspire to be. 😂

So let me get this right .... He is happy to have his children living in your home, so I presume (if he's a decent man and father) that he is very much tied to his ex wife. So you have clearly embraced the fact that he has had a past.

But you can't have a painting from an ex ( I presume you no longer see) hanging on your wall in your home, that you have very kindly let him and his children move into and share. Because he can't accept you have a past?

And he's sulking like a child.

This is very worrying behaviour.

Why sell it at all? Your DP sounds like a bit of a dick to be honest ...

For context, sitting in my house right now is a cutlery set that was a wedding gift given to my DH and his ex wife when they got married. I'm about to get it out to polish it up as we use it every Christmas. Why? Because I'm a fucking grown adult who isn't threatened by inanimate objects.

He said initially he didn’t want to live in this house because I’d bought it with an ex

Draws breath in... wow, he really has a serious problem with you having exes, doesn't he? He is very controlling. Keep YOUR house and throw him out, wake up for goodness sake.

His children have the spare room in my house so it’s decorated with photos of them and football related stuff.

Christ! He's a fucking cocklodger, and ordering you about while you took him AND his children on! You're a mug! Throw the cocklodging ungrateful sergeant major out in the gutter.

You can't be for real. No one is this much of a doormat. This is embarrassing. He's an arsehole.

How can we vote? How do you expect us to vote when NEITHER are appropriate options. Don't sell the painting AT ALL, in your home or a joint home - keep it and get rid of him.

Punishing you with the Big Silence is bullying, plain and simple. Your house, your rules and your choices. Take care he doesn't damage your painting before you show him the door.

Just read the bit about his child living there, he has the study. So, he has the living breathing product of an ex walking about your home and he’s calling you out on a PAINTING?!

OP, that’s f*k*g priceless 🤣 As is, quite possibly, the painting. Get the thing insured and well lit, at the very least 🤦‍♀️

I think he needs telling that he’s projecting his insecurity about your ex onto a decorative item in your home. I could understand if your ex had painted a sizzling nude of you but it’s not even like your ex painted it! Does he not think about how ridiculous it is that you’ve accepted his children from a past relationship and he can’t accept a simple picture?!

This is unacceptable.
A piece of art that's yours, can be where ever you please in your house. Its provenance is irelevant.

if say, he watched football with his previous partner, would he find it reasonable for you to say, "I'm not comfortable for you to continue doing so?
If he doesn't like it, he can move out, with his children and study contents.

@BeLimeTiger I’m not saying “get rid”. Presumably, you have an otherwise good and loving relationship with this man. That’s not to be discarded lightly.

My exH was a charming, clever and educated man. He is a good man still, I expect. However, when you are asked to do something because not doing it causes sulking and silence you WILL accommodate this and other things. When you choose not to the consequences for you may put you in a position where you keep things to and for yourself, rather than upset the man you love. Before you know it, you’re walking on eggshells and feeling unhappy.

If he’s capable of having a grown up conversation about this, without spitting the dummy (horrid phrase but appropriate), HAVE that conversation and then put it to bed and move on.

Only you know if you’re dealing with an adult male or a stroppy manchild.

Tell him that if he wants to play the traditional dominant male, he needs to do it properly, buy you a house and pay all the bills.

So many red flags. You acquired an emotional blackmailing bully. Get rid of him and his kids and claim back your space and your DC. This will only end badly and Incan almost read your future posts about how this fell apart and you never saw the signs, while half of us reading your post are appalled.

Tell him once clearly that you do not intend to get rid of it. You like the painting because you like the art. It is not loved because of who bought it. He then needs to get over it.

It’s not about discomfort. It’s about control.
Silence is about punishment and control.
Control is about insecurity. A painting ought not to cause insecurity. It’s an object. He’s jealous of a “thing” because that thing was given by another man, to the OP. And she has kept it, displayed it and has an emotional attachment to it.

What precious thing does she abandon next because he is uncomfortable?

Does the painting mean more to you than your DP's discomfort?

Like others have said, it's difficult to move into a house that's not jointly owned.

More so as you bought it with your ex.

The fact that you're questioning it so much shows there's something not quite right with the relationship.

You say he normally isn't controlling, so it must mean a lot to him to bring it up.

Totally agree with the above about silent treatment - I’d end it based on that alone. Absolutely juvenile, pathetic behaviour.

🤦‍♀️ My exH would offer hours/days/up to a week of the silent protest in place of adult dialogue. I’d be waiting, wringing my hands and emotionally distraught by the time he gave me absolution for my behaviour. I was frequently to be found parked on a road or on some car park, contemplating whether I should just drive home and throw myself on his mercy. To this day, I don’t fully understand what the f**k was going on with him. He’d talk to my son, the dog, the cat, the neighbour and then blank me. Make his food and eat in the spare room till I was a snot covered shadow of the fabulous lady I was, but fully contrite for my “whatever” I’d done.

He was wonderful when we married and I was anxious not to make a mistake. I couldn’t admit, I’d made a big mistake. OP you, may be very close to making a huge mistake. Keep your home. See him. Have a relationship but… don’t give up your independence. Seriously.

'He’s barely spoken to me today'.... SERIOUSLY?! 😱
I'm sorry but when I hear about adult men behaving like this for no logical or rational reason I see big red flags out of the corner of my eye and a little not very nice 6 year old boy pouting and stamping his feet! 🙄
This is not the behaviour of a mature well balanced person and as others have mentioned is something that should be of concern, the fact that up to now you haven't thought of him as jealous or controlling is sadly not indicative of much other than you have felt the need to share this here and is obviously worrying you as it may not bode well for the future?
Tread carefully but do NOT be bullied and stand your ground as this is the test and could be just a glimpse of his true character...We all think 'it won't happen to me' or 'I would know when I am being gaslit' but sadly from the number of tragic stories and cries for help on MN about just that tells of a different reality! 😥

You haven't seen signs of control believe me they are there and the silent treatment is part of the abuse Throw him out

Oh Lord!! He doesn’t like the house because you lived with your ex (loved an ex, at one time)!!!

So many red flags here. Please don’t sell your home. I did, after taking 4 years to fully commit. Six months later, the first “I want a divorce” threat came. Seriously, I spent years trying to be good enough/better so he wouldn’t leave me. What a waste of life time.

OP, move away from his nonsense. No matter how charming and together he appears, he is not in control of his emotional faculties.