He says I love a painting more than him

Somewhere there is a healthy middle ground

Sometimes there is just no middle ground. The painting is currently on her living room wall, in her house - he moved in with her.
OP has said she might compromise on putting it in a spare room if they get a place together. But they are not there yet, they are still in her house. So at present, she should not move the painting to placate him.
Especially because he is now giving her the silent treatment.

OP - this situation is your warning. Stand up for yourself now, in no uncertain terms, or you will regret it.

Always be wary of a man who moves into your space then tries to throw his weight around or 'mark territory' like a dog.

Seriously? It’s a painting. Of a bird. That OP loves. I have a now adult child with my ex. Should I stop talking to him if a meet someone else in case the new guy thinks I’m not over my ex? Should I get rid of my watch? My airfryer? My couch?

I think you should agree to move it from such a communal & prominent position

and put it up in your bedroom!

He’s barely spoken to me today so i really think that’s how he feels

Sorry didn't see this update, he's trying to manipulate you to get what he wants.

You can't give in to him now otherwise he will think all he has to do in the future to get his way is not talk to you for a day or so.

he took my reluctance to agree to take it down as a sign that I love the painting more than him.

Such a ridiculous conclusion!

Ia he always so dramatic? Has something else happened to cause him to feel insecure?

you should never sell it! Ever! Oh my god! Would he expect you to put a child up for bloody adoption because it hurt his feelings that your ex was the father? This is not normal OP do not sell that painting! Ever! Bin that guy. And I’ve only said that about 4 times on here. That would give me the ick of my life!

Think smart

???????

there's no thinking going on there, let alone smart!

Keep the painting. I'm not sure I would keep him.

This

He’s really pathetic. This is a bad sign. Please don’t ignore it.

This. Expect to see more of this as time goes by.

We have a few paintings up that were actually painted by DP's Ex before me (landscape paintings from photos of "once in a life time" places DP went before he met either of us)

They were gifts to him, and are incredible pieces. I'm happy to have such meaningful and beautiful art in my house.

(Ex was 20 years + ago, pictures probably 25 years + ago and they've been on our walls for 17 years!)

That's the thing... On the one hand, no-one should tell you what you can and can't do. It's your passion, your history, your life.

On the other, maybe a bit of empathy here. If it was an apartment, some people would say it's a lot of money, should you really love out with every new person and start fresh. Others would say they wouldn't want the ghost of boyfriend/girlfriends past haunting you. People tend to want to declutter exes from their new relationships.

So I do disagree with people here. I think something small, like a pendant, a coat (which might not be worn often), or say, a cuddly toy which could be kicked off the bed, fine, keep that around. A picture that's in your face and on a wall, reminding him every time he's in that room of your previous relationship, that's borderline for me.

Good job you don't have a child from your previous relationship.

Your BF is somewhat controlling - it comes across as one of those "I'm going to sulk unless you do this" scenarios.

It's a painting. You like it. The fact an ex bought it is irrelevant. He is your ex for a reason, it didn't work out with him, but that doesn't mean you have to get rid of anything he ever bought you.

I have a book my ex bought me, which he wrote something lovely in. I have actually read it to my kids as it's such a lovely story. Even though me and him didn't work out, it's a nice reminder of a happier time we had together which I wouldn't want to erase.

@BeLimeTiger your BF needs to accept everyone has a past, and a past should not have to be erased.

@BeLimeTiger I voted yanbu- but I don’t think you should sell it.

he needs to deal with his insecurity or move out. It’s that simple.

I have things a violent ex bought me that I’ve legit because I love them. Not him. I don’t miss him. But the things he bought me are things I would have bought myself and I love them. I don’t even remember him when looking at them. It’s a standalone item and the link to him doesn’t really exist anymore.

say someone visits your house and admires the painting.

would you wax lyrical about the amazing boyfriend that bought it - it would you be yattering away about the fabulous artist?

Your partners being a knob.

So many replies here telling you to dig your heels in but I agree with above. It's okay that he feels like that, it's okay that you love it. He knows how important art is to you so he's made an association between that and your ex. Somewhere there is a healthy middle ground but honestly having a gift from an ex on prominent display, whatever it is, wouldn't feel great. Neither of you are wrong and that's the kicker but honestly don't think I'd throw away an otherwise happy relationship for anything like that.

Whose house?

Problem solved!

He can move into his own home if he doesn't like the way you run yours. Good grief.

Neither of you are wrong imo.

Maybe you don't associate it with your ex, but he clearly does and he can't help that.

You're not wrong for wanting to keep it either though.

So the choices are one of you has to be disappointed by keeping/not keeping the painting, or you need to split up.

If such a small thing is being blown up like this, then I can only I imagine what will happen when there's a real issue to deal with, the communication and compromise isn't there and neither are willing to back down, so it's probably not going to work out in the long run.

Don't let him tell you what you can and can't have in your own home. I won't let anyone move into my house.e. I expect a man t provide for us not be a bum with nothing of his own.

I'm not voting because I don't agree that you should do either of those things

He's childish, manipulative and now he's giving you the silent treatment.

Get rid of the partner not the painting.

I’ve said yanbu. But you should keep it. He’s being ridiculous and the line that you love an inanimate object more than him is just bizarre.

Sounds like he’s having a tantrum to get his way.
he's a baby, and emotionally stunted.