Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get through 17hour childcare shifts. Tips?

183 replies

Luckystarss · 07/12/2024 11:47

Hoping for some practical advice on getting through 17hrs childcare shifts (2am to 7pm) mon to fri please…

So I’m on maternity leave with my gorgeous DD, aged 6 months. This is our last child as we decided with DH our family is now complete, we also have DS aged 7. I’m in my late thirties.
Whilst there are so many amazing moments with DD - her giggles, her beautiful smile, her play etc- there are so many mundane childcare hours and I find myself feeling so overwhelmed and tired especially going towards the end of the week... I know others have probably more difficult situations but hoping for some practical tips to ease these long hours…
I have 7 months of mat leave left and I would like to enjoy it…

We don’t have family close by.

So the set up is this:

DH and I are doing shifts in looking after DD, DH sleeps in guest room and has DD there for part of the night.
DH is out of the house 7am to 7pm Monday to Friday for work. As soon as he gets home, quick change of clothes tea and he takes DD, say 7.15ish.

My typical day (Monday to Friday):
2am ish DH brings DD for a feed (I’m bfeeding)
Sometimes she stays asleep while eating some times she is awake for 2hrs and I need to put her to sleep again
Perhaps I get few hours of sleep then
Around 5ish - breastfeeding again
6am get up, breakfast , play
9am morning snooze about 1 hour
Feed play outside if the weather is good
Lunch
Afternoon snooze 2hrs
Play feed
Go to pick up DS from school
4-7pm (most challenging part of he day) : getting dinner sorted, while managing DD and answering various questions by DS, sometimes he plays with DD which helps me focus on dinner (most of the times it’s something quick - like stir fry, oven baked chicken thighs with steamed frozen veg, pasta pizza and similar)
DH gets in 7 takes DD, I tidy up kitchen a bit, give dinner to DH, make tea.
Then 7.30-8 me time for quick shower foot massage (machine), meditation and 8ish a cuddle with DS before his bedtime.
8pm-2am sleep (sometimes at 11pm DD needs a feed, if so DH brings her in for feeding and takes her back once finished). Brings her back circa 2am and so the cycle repeats until 7pm…

DH takes DS to school each morning, he also pays for cleaners (we have them Monday to Friday- they tidy, clean, do laundry) and he also looks DD over the weekend more unless there are some household stuff to sort out - such as sorting out broken locks, sink, etc

I feel this is so relentless- day in day out, yes I got through it before with DS (albeit I was younger) and DD was very much planned and we are lucky to have her. Yet I would love to enjoy these remaining 7 months more, rather than just keeping an eye on the clock waiting for my break…

Also I was thinking to myself if you approach nanny or a nursery setting with 17hrs childcare request- there is no way they would do it (without a break) and yet the society simply expects this kind of thing from mothers…

Thank you for reading

OP posts:
habgsidldjsbeudbsbsgdjebej · 07/12/2024 12:02

I'm confused what the problem is. Isn't this just normal life with a baby and until your baby sleeps for say 12 hours a night it is hard but that's what having a baby is.

Your DH seems to do lots and too be honest I think it a a bit of a myth that mothers ever have a break unfortunately.

You survived before you will survive again

LetThereBeLove · 07/12/2024 12:00

DD is going through similar with DGS. It is unrelenting but that time soon passes. She has finally agreed to let her MiL look after the baby one day a week to give some respite. I live two hours away so can't help.

Notimeforaname · 07/12/2024 11:59

and yet the society simply expects this kind of thing from mothers…

Did you amd your husband not make a choice to have children and you stay at home while he worked?

Babaa · 07/12/2024 11:59

Your baby sleeps 3hrs during the day which is really good and you have lots of time to yourself. Mine never napped that long. I'm guessing your baby is 5 months old if you have 7 months mat leave left. Mine slept through the night at that age, but she was bottle fed.

RosieLeaf · 07/12/2024 11:58

This is just normal life with a baby?

It’s not forever. Hire in help if you want to and can afford it.

Notimeforaname · 07/12/2024 11:55

And if all you have to do is heat up dinner, you can spend time with your son and not hope he'll keep your daughter occupied.

Notimeforaname · 07/12/2024 11:54

When your daughter is napping, prepare the evening meals then.
You'll have some time then to go out somewhere in the afternoon to break it up and you can actually sit down with your husband and kids when he is home.

HPandthelastwish · 07/12/2024 11:53

What is it you actually want to do though?

More adult time? Or are you just bored? Then factor things in during the day, Parent and Baby screenings at the cinema, events during the day at the local theatre or museum. Factor in time to read a book, or put a grown up radio or podcast on.

Routine is relentless that's the point of them, the same thing everyday. If the after school time is challenging then sort the meal out earlier and reheat or use a slow cooker.