Does everyone feel like this a lot as they get older?

I have a friend who has just sold her very successful company to travel the world, she's 43 but looks about 25, has a partner who adores her, kids are grown up left home with good jobs, and she's still a very angry and frustrated person 😂

I recently turned 41 and this is me 100%

I had quite a few health issue over the last 18 months, which put life in perspective a bit, and I think that hasn't helped. My hormones are fine but I'm being treated as if in peri and take HRT patches.

I wouldn't say I'm angry as such. It's more I have no tolerance for stupidity or triviality anymore. I find myself feeling irritated by things that I think are childish or pointless. I've become absolutely happy to speak up for myself, which I never did or could have done in my 30s. I'd say it's a self-assuredness that has led me to just let my emotions flow. Sure I can mask some of it, but I'm far less likely to now than I did 10 years ago.

I have very little patience around men (unless they are my gay friends) but I am lovely and happy around women. I see so much unacceptable behaviour from men around me that I just can't stand most of them anymore.

I am outwardly like this, for example my work clients feedback that I am lovely, helpful, reassuring etc but inside I'm just irritated ! At least I suppose I am hiding it most of the time when I really need to !

I went thru a grumpy phase but I think that was due to the strain of raising children.

Now that kids are mostly grown & I'm truly older (age 55+) I am almost relentlessly positive, optimistic, resilient, content & cheerful all the time.

I think part of the anger and frustration is because women coming into their forties know that they are losing their looks and youth.

So they feel bad about themselves, and they get angry at everything.

Yes I am very easily irritated despite being on HRT. Got irritated with an elderly woman yesterday who was driving for ages at 10mph and then felt bad afterwards for getting annoyed. Constantly irritated at work clients who are so entitled and do nothing to help themselves. Irritated at my dog ( even though I adore him ) as he follows me everywhere and won't give me a minutes peace. Got really irritated with a much younger friend earlier in the week who I felt was bragging about a new house she wanted to buy and was a bit rude to her but found her so irritating and actually don't even care now if the friendship has ended because she constantly irritated me with her perfect life being thrust at me , Sorry I know how horrible I sounds. I think we just reach an age where we just don't want to be bothered by all this stuff. I just want a quiet life away from other people !

Yes but I’m not even mid 30s
I said to a friend that I’m usually very happy in myself and then someone will come along and spoil my mood. Eg I could be having a nice time shopping and then someone will barge past me and knock me out of the way or be incredibly rude.
So to sum up I blame other people for it 😂

When i was a younger woman, we all used to say, there is no one worse to be around than middle aged women.

As the middle aged women were often angry, nasty and horrible to the younger women.

Because the middle aged women were losing their youth.

I remember older women being horrifically cruel to me, when I was in my twenties.

Now I'm 40 myself, I really try not to be nasty or cruel to women who are younger and prettier than me. So the cycle doesn't keep going

This sounds like perimenopause, it definitely was like that for me! Strangely, I still haven’t gone through the menopause and I feel less like it now, but I also stopped having hot flashes so I’m it is linked.

Same! Got Graves after cancer treatment - could have been the radioactive tracer dye, could have been the stress... 18 months carbimazole for me.

I was surprised when the Endo's said it really could be triggered by stress - apparently there was a big outbreak after WWII...

Yep. By late 30s, early 40s, most women have absorbed as much of other peoples shit as they can take. Now it's time to start chucking it back at the fuckers.

50s is the decade of saying "no. I matter too."

Are you now a douce auld wifie?! 😁

Yeah, I've noticed my DH becoming a testy old man as the testosterone drops... but one day I realised what a life-suck that was, and that I didn't need to take on the emotional contagion, and now I strive to be more sanguine and LAUGH a lot... Meditation helps, also trying to practice gratitude and model calm.

Still have my moments though... 😏

I’m the opposite. I’ve gotten much more patient and good natured with age. Realising that everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions (including me!), therapy and gratefulness for simply being alive (when so people I know who are my age have passed) and good health have made me much more easygoing and happy.

No, the opposite. In fact i dont care about anything! Putin about to drop a bomb? Who cares. Christmas tat to buy? I’ll get round to it, maybe. What’s for tea? Whatever! I really just dont give a toss about anything these days, it’s very liberating mostly!

I’m much calmer.

Other people are much worse than they used to be.

I have been like this since very young, but had to put a mask on to survive.
Now at 45, I don't need anyone to burden me with their shit.
YANBU.

I think I have improved with age (53), I am basically an optimist anyway but did have a lot more anger than I do now. Divorce helped a lot, also learning other coping strategies like just indulging myself in the occasional self destructive anger bender for a very limited time. Then shaking myself off and getting back on track. Prioritising self care is really important to me these days.

I was like this in my mid to late 50’s. I retired at 61 and now I can honestly say I hardly ever feel that way. It was a combination of menopause and my job.

You are in the wrong place on the age related happiness curve OP. It does get better.

I'm 50 and I don't feel this way myself. I've noticed that DH is grumpier than he used to be though!

Welcome to Middle Age and perimenopause. 😬 Try and find some coping mechanisms, that will help with your MH as it's very unpleasant feeling grouchy all the time.

I found it helpful to let stuff go that I cannot influence. I pop it in my fuckit bucket and move on. I also do a guided meditation practice which sounds woo, but has really changed my approach to things too. Learning to breathe and empty your mind is very powerful and calming.

Find your thing and life will improve.

Of course, I'm 54.

I’ve noticed I’m frustrated by the general deterioration of society, there’s next to no manners, no pride, no courtesy, no empathy. Perhaps those of us 35+ women and men who remember life before social media find it frustrating navigating this modern world. Things are uneasy when they should be far more simple or they used to be far more simple.

I think hormones are partly responsible. But it also needs to be remembered that typically life for a woman in her 40s can be very hard. If you're juggling job, children, maybe helping parents out, you will likely be a lot more tired and stressed than older women who have their lives back, so to speak. I have very little to worry about these days. I've earned my stripes in my job, nothing more to prove. DC are adults. More time and money. If it rains today, I've the flexibility to do it tomorrow, or do something else entirely.