Does everyone feel like this a lot as they get older?

Honestly, I don’t think I’d have given either interaction a second thought, other than ‘X has the social skills of a chimp’. Why not act at the time, rather than fester with suppressed fury about it afterwards or turn it into a reason for never engaging either anyone outside your household ever again! I mean, you would only be inviting friends or family whose company you enjoy to your house, I assume, rather than randoms you don’t like?

😂Fukkin hell!

Yep. I'm 59 and I've made the decision to stop putting people first, who don't give a shit about me, family included ( especially family!!) Once I'd done that, and accepted that I can't do it all, and I can just focus on the people and things that are important to me, I calmed down a bit. I refuse to let people trample on my boundaries now, and I'm happier for it.

Oh God I thought it was just me! 😆 (Mid to late 50s here.)

Not only all of what you say @Hunkkp but also I can't be bothered with socialising very much or having anyone around my house. I don't mind popping out for a coffee or a pub lunch and meeting on neutral ground (where I can leave/get away when I want.)

But when someone's at my house I hate it because I don't know when I'm going to get rid of them! 😬I just CANNOT be bothered with people (Both DD are excluded obviously and can stay as long as they like!)

I never used to be like this. My teens to my late 40s I was very sociable and loved being with loads of people (and didn't mind having people around.)

I kind of sometimes feel like I want to join a social group or a hobby group again. I used to be part of them, and was for the first 6 or 7 years I was in this village (Been here about 11.) Everything stopped during lockdown, and much of it didn't restart, but even though some stuff did restart, I honestly can't be arsed.

I'm not anti-people/anti-human, but some people just annoy me. Every group I have been in, there has always been someone who is a bit of a cunt. Gobby, always needs everyone to hear their opinions, and bitchy. Making comments about various things. My job, my DC, my home, my DH, my DH's job, all sorts.. Questions and judgements and comments. Some people are just nosey, opinionated, and judgemental, and catty. Some are just arseholes.

I was at a Christmas market in the Church last weekend, and was chatting to a nice quiet lady from the Church, and this one woman from the next street, barges up and cuts me off and said loudly 'HELLO MAY! A HOW ARE YOU? HOW'S YOUR SON?' Just ignored me, turned her back on me and didn't even acknowledge me. I just walked off and didn't speak. ''May' looked awkward and watched me as I walked off. I know it wasn't her fault, but she should really have said 'sorry Julie I'm just speaking to this lady. Be with you in a few minutes.'

Then another woman (5 minutes later) marched up to me and another woman I was chatting to, and said to me 'I see you out for a walk every day, you're ALWAYS out aren't you, tootling around the paths and woodlands!' and burst out laughing, like there was something fucking funny about it. I said 'errr yeah I do like my walks.' And I was like She shook her head and laughed and said 'what are you like?!' like I'd said something stupid. Just 2 examples of people behaving like cunts. I have many more. Including spiteful underhand comments from people when I'm out in a group socialising.

Most people are OK, but there's enough arseholes for me to not want to mix with people, and every single 'group' I have been in has had at least one or two complete and utter arseholes, who are loud and opinionated and obnoxious.

I wish I had the courage to say 'why are you such a cunt?' And I wish I'd said to the woman who cut me off when I was talking to May 'do you mind?! I am TALKING to this lady. How rude are YOU.' Fuck off!'

Eh about the car salesman speaking to a husband?

If I go to buy a car, I go and buy it by myself.

So, are YOU one of them?
Or are you just as pretty as you were 20 years ago, and therefore not angry at caring for children and aging parents at the same time? Are you as pretty as you were 20 years ago, so being overlooked for promotions is okay, because you're just as pretty as you've always been? Are you still pretty, so being paid less than the blokes is okay? Are you still pretty, so it doesn't matter that the car salesman speaks to your husband rather than you?

Tiny bits of it and yes it feels hormonal BUT I think it also depends on life experience.. I've lost so many people death wise that I can keep myself in check and let calm wash over me, because it's not worth feeling like that.
If I hadn't gone through this then yes I think I'd feel more ragey and less able to keep it at bay. It feels like puberty again 😂

I've always been absolutelt determined not to repeat the cycle of bullying. And I have never been nasty to a younger woman.

I would really appeal to women in their forties and fifties on here to be nice to younger women.

As I remembe my whole entire young life being absolutely ruined by older women.

We've all got to be a bit kinder to women

Did you miss where I said I'm in my forties myself?

It absolutely is a HUGE factor in people our age.

A lot of women get angry because they are no longer the youngest and prettiest woman in the room.

Why did you think these women were my friends?

They weren't.

They were just women that I got talking to in a variety of places.

Through Work. Through Groups. One was in a choir that I was in.

They said they felt really awful getting into their forties as their looks weren't the same and they felt insecure.

And you're fitting another stereotype perfectly. The "you're all just jealous" one.

Enjoy whatever it is you're imagining women in their 40s and 50s are jealous of. I truly hope it lasts longer than your dismissal of those of us who have "lost our looks".

52 - husband with cancer, in laws with dementia. I'm raging constantly. I'm trying not to but life has become harder.

It definitely was because I was young and pretty.

When I was young, older women at work made my life a misery. They were vicious to me. They would isolate me

One woman who talked to them, but wasnt wasn't involved in the bullying of me, pulled me aside and said to me:

"I'm really sorry for what you're going through. They're jealous of your looks. They have said that to me."

HRT really made a massive difference for me

Yep. I call people out for pushing in the bus queue most days now. Also a red mist decends on anyone holding up the bus needlessly because of them not having the right fare or their pass out ready. I get so worked up. I'm 40.

You have a very weird and shallow friendship group in that case.

It wasn't because you were young and pretty. It wasn't resentment. It was because they couldn't tolerate your zest for what they considered mundanity. By 40+ you've got a life behind you, and the thought crosses your mind that people in their 20s don't have a clue and should just quit whining about their favourite lipstick no longer being stocked. Certainly I never resent younger, prettier women. Perhaps it's because I'm more attractive now than I was in my 20s, and get far more male attention now, owing to a massive weight loss and changes I've made.

Some middle aged women are definitely angry that their looks are fading.

And that they are not as pretty as younger woman.

They've told me in real life.

But not because we are apparently no longer pretty according to men!

"Crap" "fuck sake".

That's very angry language.

You're definitely fitting the stereotype of what we were saying. That mature women are angry.

Not at all but my 55 year old male partner is a major grump and that's not menopause! Its very hard to live with tbh

Jeez, no! Women aren't angry because they are past it. It's much more likely because we get wiser and have more experience and we view others less naively.

Total opposite. I've come into my 40s having lost all my excess weight last year, and I look and feel better than ever. I no longer have the need to settle for disrespect like I felt I did before. I'm more confident about how I feel and look than I've ever been, and know my worth. That's why my tolerance for rubbish has waned.

And this is the kind of crap that mature women are sick of.

Fuckssake.