Dog at family christmas gathering

Because that's what they want to do. If you don't, join places that are not dog friendly. It's not difficukt

Poor dog is being judged by its size by the sound of it. It sounds like it's going to be in a much more noisy and uncomfortable situation than the humans.

Kids need to be socialised around dogs as do anxious adults. The kids will pick up on the adults needless anxiety and become anxious too for no reason at all. It's not fair on dogs as they inevitably get the blame even though they're surrounded by humans giving off toxic chemicals and vibes. Poor pup

Can I bring my camel then?

But that's not reality.

I don’t even go to my local cafes now because of them. Cafe Nero in my town in particular smells awful and if it’s not the smell of wet dog (I live in the rainy north) it’s the sound of two dogs barking at each other or at someone who has asked to pet them.

When I saw a staff member pet a dog once at a brunch place, I wondered if they washed their hands afterwards before serving food and decided to just leave.

And yeah before anyone says it - yes of course people who work with foods may or may not do all kinds of gross things when you’re not looking, but if I see it I don’t fancy my chances and won’t hang around.

I generally don’t like eating around dogs anyway so that was the final straw.

I don’t like dogs and I have allergies. I won’t go to anyone’s house unless the dog (or cat) is out of the way and am far too old to care if that offends anyone

There should not be dogs "in every walk of life". They are intruding on far too many spaces where they do not belong. Dogs should only be in their owners homes, being walked leashed on the street, and in designated dog parks.

You don't need to 'force your kids to like dogs' but as responsible parent you do need to ensure they know how to behave around them. There are dogs in every walk of life, the sooner you help them to manage their fear the better.

I wouldn't go OP. No way I'd be spending Christmas Day with an unknown dog. It's bad enough that I have to put up with them in the cafe or at the pub, and find their poo bags left everywhere around town...

The language you used “big and scary” kind of says that you don’t like larger dogs, or are at least anxious around them.

there’s quite a difference between liking a Yorkshire terrier and liking a German Shepard. It probably has rubbed off on your kids a bit if you think big dogs are scary. It can’t not have.

I have a dog, I promise you I'm very aware of what situations he is and isn't capable of behaving in. My dog shows no signs of aggression or stress around children so is allowed to interact with kids (carefully supervised by me). However, a small child with food would test him (he's greedy) so he's put on a lead or removed from the room while they are eating.

If you mean autistic, just say autistic. It's not a swear word.

What do you know about the dog, and its temperament? How is the dog with children? More info needed before deciding whether this is a scary dog or in fact, just a bog standard pet dog.

I’m assuming this dog has encountered children in its life. Has there ever been any cause for concern? If not I think you’re blowing this out of proportion.

I’m also pretty sure that your kids are only anxious around dogs because that’s what they’ve learned from you.

there’s not time to rectify that between now and Christmas so your choices are:
Go but ask for sister in law to put the dog in another room while you’re there.
go but remain very calm yourself and show the kids they don’t have to be afraid and ensure that sister in law keeps the dog at least a little bit away from you and the kids (manageable with a well trained dog, I have to do this with my dog and my mother).
don’t go on a day your sister in law is there.

they’re staying over Christmas with the dog so the hosts obviously think the dog is fine and safe to have around.

No wonder you're not close to his family if you're not prepared to even ask if the dog can be kept out of the way while your children are there. Either put in some effort, or don't go, I doubt whether you'll be missed if you're not that close anyway.

"My partner is not close at all with their family and I barely have contact so it's hard to reach out"

Then why is going there on Christmas Day such an issue then? If they aren't close and you don't have any relationship with sister in law then just don't spend Christmas Day with them. I wouldn't spend Christmas Day with people I wasn't close with.
You say it would be nice for kids to see family, but that's obvs not the norm if you're not close.

I love dogs and have a dog, but accept their not for everybody, and I do try and make allowances for those people, but on Christmas Day I would exclude or lock my dog away, so I think it would be unfair to expect that, however, for all you know, this dog could be delightful, a lot of ND children get a lot of positives from dogs. Plus I have typically from my experience found bigger the dog the drafter more docile they are ( obvs not every dog) it's the smaller ones that can be more yappy and highly strung.

Yes, I wondered that as well. They’ve also had this dog fir a year, and not once has op mn et it.

For those with kids scared of dogs, there are courses where they help kids get over their fear of dogs.

Hilarious eye-rolling responses "just ask SIL if the dog is well-behaved"

Has anyone ever met a dog owner who has described their little darling as badly behaved, even the ones with a biting history? "Oh but that was the kid's fault for holding food/walking through the door/making a noise... Rover is a lovely dog really"

If it's a rescue dog SIL won't even know all of its history and who knows how it might react to kid noise or sudden movements.

There are actually but that's beside the point.

Honestly id prob avoid. I'm not going to family gathering as family member has a big hyper young labrador. It's friendly but completely untrained and jumps on everyone and bites them. Not hard bites but more mouths them and their clothes. My toddler is terrified. He has development delay as well as physical disabilities and autism. Family have offered to shut dog away but I dont feel thats fair on the dog. Plus if it barks son will be even more scared. Better for everyone if we avoid.

What, any dog?

Op wouldn’t know, as she never met the dog.

Mixing any large breed dog you don't know with any children who are hyperactive and afraid of dogs is unsafe.