Dog at family christmas gathering

I am that dog owner. I am quite open about the fact that my dog is not the easiest to train and please allow me a moment to lead her away before you step into my house as she can become overly excited. I am perfectly happy to admit that she is at a risk of absconding so that I will be keeping her on the lead at all times. I am also happy to say that she is a sled dog and is prone to pulling so no, I won't let your kid to walk it. And yes, your child is welcome to come over and stroke her but she is likely to try and give them kisses, so only proceed if you are comfortable with this idea.
All normal things for me to say when I am talking about my dog. There is really no need to paint all dog owners as a-holes who are in love with their "fur babies". My dog is not my baby, she is my dog and I treat her accordingly and give fair warning to others.

Is there turkey in the bible? Pigs in blankets? Christmas tree? Christmas carols? Santa?
Do you bring gifts of myrrh and frankincense?

I must say my memories of the bible content are rather rusty but I don't recall any of the things we do for Christmas mentioned in there.

Poor dog.

Yes, a good dog owner is aware of their dog's behavior and doesn't set them up for failure. One of my dogs is undergoing chemo and it makes his behavior unpredictable. My cousin was scheduled to visit with her family, including her 6 year old daughter, and I called and told her that I wasn't comfortable having her child in my home because of my dog's behavior. Most dog owners I know make similar choices to keep both people and their dogs safe and comfortable.

Looks perfect!!

and given how little sleep I'm getting, as complex as I can deal with 🤣

Found the second book to read.

No, but it's a bit daft to not have basic skills / understanding of dog behaviour.

But dogs are everywhere whether you like it or not. Teaching a child how to behave around animals is the same as teaching them to cross a road, to boil a kettle etc. All life skills that are needed in life.

God this pisses me off. Rescue dog isn't a bad thing, not all rescue dogs have issues. Don't go, let them all enjoy the day without your issues.

You may not agree Op, but if someone hosts a gathering in my eyes they get to set the rules. Your in laws are happy enough for the dog to be there for a few days so you're not going to improve family relations (which sound pretty poor anyway) by telling them the dog can't be there. You clearly feel your DC are being excluded in some way but unless you actually talk to your in laws they won't know that

I don't have a dog at all and have never had one, let alone 'push one around in a pram', but cheers for assuming!

This feels very like OP and partner just don't like the SIL and there's been some kind of historical beef, and want to force a situation where the PIL have to choose between their children/grandchildren, because they want to be the preferred ones.

In families that get along, people can have conversations and compromise. We have dogs, DC are fine with dogs (both autistic and love animals). Their cousin was wary when he was little. They explained it to us, we put the dogs in another room while we all visited PIL for the day, we didn't want to stress DN out. It feels like OP and her DP don't want to find a solution though, they just want to be mad about being "excluded" because they can't possibly be in the same vicinity as a dog, and I'm guessing the PIL aren't likely to banish SIL and her dog from the house over Christmas to suit them.

Maybe read the ops posts. The SIL is stopping over. Hence the dog being there.

Are you one of those people who push their dogs round in a pram and call thems their fur baby 🤣
OP's post doesn't say it is an overnight thing just a day time event? I'm sure the dog will be fine by itself for a few hours, and perhaps it may even prefer time alone to rest at home instead of being in a new home and with people and children it hasn't met before. I'm a dog person but if I was the SIL I'd walk it before the event, leave food and water and the radio on and go and enjoy myself knowing I wouldn't have to be monitoring the dog in a new environment with strangers and young kids who are scared of big dogs.

Where has anyone said that?

Is it obligatory to like dogs these days?
I’m not keen.

Maybe we should start one!! Maybe ask Santa for a dragon for Christmas!!

1st book How to train your dragon. Free flame proof gloves.

Don't go OP.
I have a dog and I understand people don't want dogs around.
I would not go as it seems like you don't have a close relationship anyway. If it was people I really wanted to see the. I would find a way to make it work.

Just make some excuses nearer the time. Migraine etc and then go visit the family when the SIL and dog have gone.

I really think either you or your partner need to talk to your sil about it. Ask for more info on breed and temperament, explain your children are scared etc.. and discuss how you might handle the situation (eg. Could dog be another room when you arrive and then introduce children slowly? Could your sil send a video of the dog so your children can get familiar in advance etc..)

While I do have a little sympathy, I also think you and your partner are adults and should be able to speak to sil. I don't really understand why you can't??

Yes. I can’t stand dogs.

My 2 house rules are no dogs and no smoking. I also avoid visiting other people’s houses where one or both of those are present.

Your answer is in your last sentence. Read what you've written. You could have left and found another place to have lunch?

If you were coming to my house, and you suggested that, I'd show you the door. My dog lives in my home, you'd be the visitor. If you don't like it, you know where the door is.

There are no awful dogs, only awful dog owners.

It is ignorant of you to claim the dog is big and scary without knowing whether it IS big and scary! Find out for yourself and make this judgement yourself! Having said that, it is a recipe for disaster to allow your children to be afraid of dogs. There are no bad dogs, only bad dog owners. 'Deed, not breed' is a well worn saying in the dog world. You have allowed the children to feel scared of dogs, so you are responsible for this situation. I would add, that is very well known and widely accepted, that children on the spectrum get on extremely well with dogs- it's as though the dog realises the additional need of the child. At some point, you're going to have to desensitise your children to this irrational fear of dogs- this applies to yourself too. You've encouraged and fed this irrationality, and one day, your children are going to cause a problem when innocently confronted by a dog - in a park, for example. There are lots of humans in my own social circle I wouldn't trust, but I'd trust a dog every day. I don't like people who don't like dogs.

So do I but they should be trained and know to how to settle in settings that other people will be in. My dogs react to nothing but it’s not the first time I’ve had to have a word with parents who think it’s appropriate for their little darlings to come and annoy my dogs.

If SIL is staying and her parents are happy with the dog staying it’s a bit rich for you to ask for the dog not to be there @Pippy2022. You say yourself you don’t have much contact with SIL and you don’t know this dog. You’ve described it as “big and scary” no wonder your children have issues around dogs.