Increasingly hate sitting next to people

Also the increasing number of people who are overweight or obese, so take up a lot of room.

When I go to the cinema I choose an end seat intentionally, or if the one with individual sofa style seats one of those.

I totally am like this. It's a follow-on from the pandemic for me. I'm aware it is but can't shift it.

and they found out that the biggest single factor that impacted customer satisfaction was whether the adjacent seat was empty or not.

I'm surprised it wasn't legroom TBH. We always pay for extra legroom seats these days, but there aren't that many on a shorthaul flight.

I was looking at the MPs on the front benches in The House of Commons the other day, they sit so close together that both sides of their bodies are not just touching, but squeezed together. I wouldn't like that, but trains, planes, buses cinema etc..doesn't bother me, ( unless they're eating something noisily).

It is abnormal to isolate one’s self. Little wonder that the mental health of young people is through the floor if parents won’t ride with their kids on a double decker bus or take them to group social events such as cinema or theatre.

Neurodiversity is not an excuse - I am neurodiverse and I find it hard but you have to get on with it, and if you can’t, maybe you shouldn’t have had children in the first place. And if it’s your mental health, sort it out.

Finding other people gross is really weird. There are a lot of strange people on here from people who don't answer their phone, compulsively clean their home, hide behind the sofa if an unexpected visitor calls and now sitting next to a stranger FFS.

TammyBundleballs · Today 07:49

FatsiaJaponicaInTheGarden · Today 07:40
Ha yes I'm similar and will always buy an "end" at the cinema or theatre but I'm okay sitting next to my kids/husband.
I suspect this isn't that normal tbh and squeezed towards those of us that are ND /anxious/very introvert who might also be more likely to be posting on mumsnet... And on this thread...
I don’t think it’s anything to do with being ND.
I attend a lot of sporting events and in every single case the aisle seats are the always the ones sold first.
There was recently a satisfaction survey carried out by airlines looking at a range of factors including price, seat pitch, on board entertainment, food etc and they found out that the biggest single factor that impacted customer satisfaction was whether the adjacent seat was empty or not. If it was empty then people invariably scored their experience highly regardless of all other factors.

100% this.

It's normal to choose a seat away from strangers, on a train say, or in a waiting room. But no, it doesn't bother me to have to sit next to someone in public. I don't give it any thought in advance. In a theatre, for example, I'd assume I had to sit next to a stranger if I was with only one companion. My sense of smell isn't what it once was though......

What’s changed? People used to have manners, consideration and knew how to behave in public. Now so many smell or have other irritating personal habits, or be noisy with their phones or gadgets, or be drinking or eating noisily or smelly food, or coughing and sneezing making no attempt to use a tissue or handkerchief, or spread out with no respect to your personal space, or try to engage you with inane chat and incapable of reading the signals you’re not interested.

The circle seats at the Lyceum theatre in Sheffield have such a short pitch that I can't get my legs to fit and have to sit slightly sideways.

I'm not exceptionally tall at 5'7" either.

Our local cinema has plenty of legroom though.

I'm an introvert and not keen on sitting or standing next to strangers either. Not to the extent where it ruins my life in any way, but enough for me to choose an end of row seat for the theatre and I only take public transport very rarely. I always upgraded when flying so I had my own space completely, although my flying days are long over.

Many people smell of BO, or can't stop themselves from sniffing, coughing and sneezing everywhere. I don't want everyone else's cold, thank you. That includes people who stand too close when they're talking to you, just why?? I used to think I'd have a T-shirt made with the slogan:
"If I can smell your breath, you're TOO CLOSE....BACK OFF!!"
but of course never did.

I suspect people get more jammed up together in crowded countries; my experience in northern Scandinavia was of people and places with lots of space. People weren't crammed into small areas, they gave each other lots of space both indoors and outdoors etc.

To everyone saying it's "unnatural" not to like people sitting next to you, I actually wonder if it's a 'natural' reaction to human beings having to live in crowded towns and cities - environments which aren't actually 'natural' surroundings for human beings over the centuries?

Yes I understand that but the level of revulsion many people have here of the small noises, the snacks, the smells and the whole just being close to people I think is more than the general preference out there.

I think I'm far more like it as someone ND than any of my fiends. They wouldn't seriously not go to cinema/theatre if it meant sitting in the middle of a row or next to strangers. But I suspect many on this thread, like myself, would rather not go.

Otherwise theatres and cinemas would have no one in the middle of the long rows would they...

Probably, but that's pretty normal at this time of year. He could equally have caught the cold from his work colleague, his partner or child, his friend etc. It's pretty pointless stressing about how to avoid colds - you largely can't. I spend all day in rooms full of coughing, sneezing children all day. I actually haven't had a cold yet this winter though - maybe all the germ exposure has strengthened my immune system!

I would seek help if sitting next to friends/people you know is making you want to avoid going. Do you have other sensory issues? Nobody likes sitting next to loud or smelly people on a train, but you are describing something different. I would look into this as it is affecting your social life.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with being ND.

I attend a lot of sporting events and in every single case the aisle seats are the always the ones sold first.

There was recently a satisfaction survey carried out by airlines looking at a range of factors including price, seat pitch, on board entertainment, food etc and they found out that the biggest single factor that impacted customer satisfaction was whether the adjacent seat was empty or not. If it was empty then people invariably scored their experience highly regardless of all other factors.

My friend came and sat directly next to me and I just got up, moved and said “I just need some space”. Everyone looked at me like I had 2 heads.

And did you wonder why they looked at you like that? Are you still their friend?

I sat next to a man on a train yesterday who took an hour to eat a sandwich. He took 1 bite then placed it on his tray for 5 mins. Said sandwich had onion and really smelled. Meanwhile I have an awful cold, sneezing, coughing etc Used a tissue to cover my face but didn't seem to bother him placing his sandwich on the tray right next to me. He'll probably have cold too next week

Ha yes I'm similar and will always buy an "end" at the cinema or theatre but I'm okay sitting next to my kids/husband.

I suspect this isn't that normal tbh and squeezed towards those of us that are ND /anxious/very introvert who might also be more likely to be posting on mumsnet... And on this thread...

Isn’t that because the RAH and many UK theatres were built when the average person was smaller?

The modern cinema near me has spacious reclining seats, but the Victorian theatre feels cramped in comparison.

Yes. And more and more it's being framed as a good and understandable thing that you can do to make life better for yourself. Shutting yourself away and becoming scared or or disgusted by sharing space and experiences with other human beings is categorically NOT good for the human race.

Friends and family- no problem.
Random strangers-no.
I would never sit at a table next to someone through choice. Or sit next to someone on public transport if there are other empty seats, I find those who do odd and my guard goes up.
I think Covid has reinforced how easy it is to catch germs from others and I like my personal space. There again, I am comfortable in my own space.
When I go on a plane, I always hope that the seat next to me is free. This is partly due to the fact a lot of men manspread and I don’t want them in my space. Plus the seats are not very big.
I’d much prefer it to be just me and dh.

I am getting on these days so maybe I represent a chattier time but earlier in the week I shared my maltesers with the bloke next to me on the train. Can’t remember what we chatted about but it made us laugh. Then another random joined in and after he got off we had a chat. I would say I am open to chat and so many other people are too. The noise of people, the fug of a warm day - it’s the less interesting part of people.

I agree. People are just isolating themselves more and more.

It's sad.

Honestly, what is the world coming to? People from previous generations and eras would be astonished and baffled by the number of people who are now incapable of coping with totally normal human interaction and who are massively triggered by totally commonplace sights, smells, sounds and situations. It's really worrying imo.