Dh making us drive in red warning

Exactly my question.

@BlueFoxel You describe him as arrogant, he's gaslighting your concerns following a government warning.

Yes call it off it's not too late.

Tell him (and mean it) that you and the dogs will make your own way back when it's safe. His response will be telling.

Sounds like a man who needs a partner with low esteem to bully and feel superior to because that's the only way he can only feel like a big man. Not healthy for a relationship but sadly I think you'll settle for him. Just bear in mind that as he gets older and starts to feel that other, younger men are overtaking him this will only get worse.

I had parents like that - they were bullying too. Luckily I married someone really lovely.

Seriously OP don't marry someone like him or if you do, don't have kids with him.

warning until 11 am

@Creamcrackered10 It sounds as if you've set the bar too low for yourself too.

Maybe read the first post- this is how he behaves most of the time, accusing the OP of 'being dramatic'.

In other words, being a bully and belittling her choices which he needs to overrule.

But there will be at some point. All OP has to do is sit it out. Hence the suggestion of a hotel
in the meantime.

@Foundanotherwrinkle - maybe you should read the post properly

I think you need to challenge this narrative. Lighting a fire is a useful skill only in very limited circumstances these days. Pretty much ditto map reading, given how reliant we all are on Google maps. Unless you intend to go on long hiking expeditions in the wilderness neither is a skill most people have these days.

It sounds like he’s been making you feel inferior for some minor things that don’t matter at all. In the reasonably unlikely event you did need to light a fire or do one of very many other practical things there are inevitably YouTube videos.

What do you do really well? And, can you take the attitude that you can’t know how to do/be good at everything, but you’re perfectly capable of looking after yourself, you’ve got good judgement (certainly better than his on the evidence of this thread) and can find out or get help with anything you can’t do or find difficult. You’ve got this (this situation, and life in general).

There are no trains. Trees on the lines.

My DH would be the same with thinking he would be fine to drive. We've had plenty of similar disagreements in nearly 15 years of mostly very happy marriage. There'll always be moments in any relationship where you'll disagree. One thing I've learnt is not to be swayed. My DH will huff and puff sometimes before giving in and I just accept that now as who he is.

In a situation like this I'd just tell my husband he was free to go, but me and the dogs would be following on later by taxi/train. I think after an hour or two of grumping he'd admit defeat and wait till the storm had passed. It doesn't mean he's an awful person. If all men had to meet Mumsnet standards, no one would ever get married.

This incident has highlighted what he's like, deep down.

He constantly makes the OP doubt her own choices.

See her first post.

Perfectly obvious how she's gone from being controlled by her strict parents to choosing a controlling man, where most of the time she does what he says and doesn't have to worry herself over making important decisions - until now.

We’re in Wales on the edge of the red warning, you’ll be driving past us to get back. It’s wild here. We are used to stormy weather and have a 4x4 because conditions can be so bad. We’ve cancelled our booked and paid for plans for today and are not going anywhere. You’d be mad to drive through that. Get a hotel if necessary and get the train home. He sounds intolerable. Your safety should come first. If you’re planning children, he’ll put them at risk too in the future.

Don't do it. Some matches have been cancelled. Let him go and you stay. He sounds delightful

Stay another night. Tell him you aren't getting in the car today so he can either leave you - and thus your relationship - behind or he can recognise that usually you just go along with him so this is a major deal that you won't, he needs to flex here.

My H has just set off to work. Didn't have to, didn't need to but off he's gone
Another arse that thinks he knows better than anyone else and doesn't care about any consequences to his actions

Good point.

Never mind a red warning - this has red flag written all over it please don’t marry this selfish man.

Don't go. Let him do what he eNts

YANBU. You have an issue with him being defensive and what is the top cause o that?

he’s willing to dismiss reason and put your safety at risk for football? If you have kids with this man it won’t change - and you’ll be horrified. I really think you need to nip this issue in the bud now.

OP i live in SE London and its MISERABLE. Strong winds and rain. I very much doubt any football game will go ahead here

There's a reason for the red weather warning, alerts, closed bridges and dozens of cancelled functions, yet he thinks he knows better than the authorities!

I would seriously reconsider marrying this man!

Just checked the football fixture list and probably he follows the same football team as Gregg Wallace. Seems to have nasty traits as well.

At least you have found out before the wedding.

Your fiance sounds thoroughly unpleasant. Please keep yourself and your dogs safe.

This.

Also this:

Dh thinks I am dramatic at the best of times...

The clue that he is not the guy for you and will slowly make you miserable and insecure about yourself is right there in you first post.

If you’re SE London, the match will be cancelled. Winter Wonderland is closed today and Chiswick House have cancelled their Christmas Events.

Thankfully, some people see the risk isn’t worth it.

This may be your defining moment.

Big girl pants on and refuse to get in the car (with your dogs). He will either respect you and you know you’re ready for marriage. Or disrespect you, then don’t get married because this will be the rest of your life going forward.