Freeloading CF school mum- class teacher Christmas gift - private school edition

And I have a respectful, friendly, appreciative relationship with them. Bunging ever-increasing amount of cash in a voucher is just vulgar.

Younger son is at a private primary. The suggested donation is £50. The last couple of times we've said thanks-but-no-thanks and our name's not on it. Doesn't bother me, We give a separate present.

And that's the child's fault how??

Self important rubbish. Just sign the card from the class and use the money for a voucher. Don’t make work, stress and bother for yourself by chasing people. It really couldn’t matter less!

Surprisingly, I have always valued the relationship my child has built up with the person who spends more waking hours during the working week with him than I. A gift is not a tip, nor a bribe, as has been suggested. It is an acknowledgement of the rapport, and indeed affection, than has grown up between human beings who spend so much time together. A teacher gives so much of him/herself - it is not merely a cool professional arrangement, and to equate it with that of a customer/checkout operator is risible.

Merrymess · Today 00:19

pollyglot · Today 00:14
Why didn't you make that point then, that teachers are no more deserving than anyone of a tip, and that the practice should be outlawed?

I did make the point.

Where was that, then?

I did make the point.

I know the thread is about a private school, but the reason I don't think 'tipping' teachers is right is because they are government employees with a great deal of power.

Should we tip social workers? Doctors (who are more likely to be self-employed)? Council housing workers who make decisions about housing? It should all be frowned upon because bribing your hairdresser to do a good job or your waiter to be quick is fine. Bribing a government employee is not.

When it was a cute card or a pencil from the child, it's a token. Now it's a voucher for several hundred quid. Not OK.

Why didn't you make that point then, that teachers are no more deserving than anyone of a tip, and that the practice should be outlawed?

What about the 100s of other workers? Do you tip the supermarket checkout staff? The nurse? The Dr? The bus driver?etc They are not worthy of your generosity?

As a teacher, I think this is a really nice idea. The messages will mean far more to the teacher than the money will. To be honest, I'd recommend doing this even if everyone does contribute. Trust me, the teacher won't care less if it makes it slightly more awkward to spend them - the cards will be what he/she treasures for years to come.

Merrymess · Yesterday 23:47

pollyglot · Yesterday 23:45
Just curious, those who have said $20 is excessive for a teacher's gift... what do people tip their hairdresser each time they have their hair done? Or isn't that a thing these days? 5 quid, 4 times a year, for example? Do parents not realise just how hard their child's teacher works to do their utmost for their kid? Is it not worth the same acknowledgement?

They get paid to do their job. They don't do it for free.

Well well well, who knew? Thanks for the information. So can you point me to your hairdresser who does not get paid? I'll happily tip them $5 for a free "do".

Moonpig now have an option were you can send a link to all of the parents so each child can write their own message to the teacher in the group card. The onus is on her then… If she doesn’t contribute then she can’t write a message.

www.moonpig.com/uk/group-cards/

It's not the child's fault the parent hasn't contributed. Don't punish the child for the parent's actions. Put the child's name on the card.

On one hand people seem to expect teachers to put up with all manner of crap from parents and children alike, and then say that giving them £200 as a thank you is 'wild'.
Teachers are leaving the industry in droves and if you've got a good one, I don't think that's excessive as a thank you.

OP, don't single out the child in any way, but if I were you I would continue to politely and doggedly ask the mum and/or dad for the money via WhatsApp to make a point.

I think it's incredibly mean to leave off one child's name. It isn't their fault, it's their parents fault.

Just put from ''Year 4''.

Not a chance I would give 40 quid,

They get paid to do their job. They don't do it for free.

When I took over the organising of ours the parent who used to do it told me to keep a record of who donated and to ask for £5, and remind people to bring more if they weee ‘short’
laughed in his wanker banker face.

Just curious, those who have said $20 is excessive for a teacher's gift... what do people tip their hairdresser each time they have their hair done? Or isn't that a thing these days? 5 quid, 4 times a year, for example? Do parents not realise just how hard their child's teacher works to do their utmost for their kid? Is it not worth the same acknowledgement?

That's over a GRAND. In a state primary. That's insane.

I fully understand the frustration with a pattern of freeloading from this mum. By all means, call this mum out directly when she oversteps asking for others to do free labor for her or “lend” things. I certainly don’t blame you for being miffed about that incident with the event with the unfulfilled promise of wine.

But the class gift and leaving one child’s name off is absolutely not the right place to take a stand against it, IMO. This gift is about the teacher feeling appreciate by their students, so don’t use it to make a point about another mum. If you want to make sure each child gets “credit” for their gift next year and no one is freeloading then just let everyone do their own gift rather than volunteering to organize a gift from the class.

£20!!! Holy shit that’s insane!
If I was a teacher I’d be embarrassed to get a gift of such magnitude.

£20!!!!!

God I hated bloody collections 😫

Genius !!!